The Girl Next Door
by MusicSouth91
Summary: I would summarize it all if I could, but can't because I honestly have NO clue what my story is about. I'm just writing as I go. The title pretty much says it all though. Give it a go if you want, if not then no biggy.
1. Remember to Breathe

[[SamIAm]]: So I haven't written anything in a while. Haven't had any ideas or inspiration to write. But I got bored one day and decided to try and get back into the whole writing thing. My friend Liza decided to help as well. So here's my first attempt in a long while.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sadly.

* * *

I stood outside of the club. Expecting her to appear. I knew she would follow, she always did. I leaned up against the wall, waiting for her to show up in front of me. I decided to light up a cigarette as I waited. I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes, reveling in the sensation as the chemicals coursed through my lungs. It's bad, I know. I've heard it all before, but some how I choose not to stop. I'm not addicted, I could stop if I wanted to, really. I just choose not to, no reason good enough to make me want to stop.

"Anyone ever tell you that smoking's bad for you?"

And there she was, just as I knew she would be. I decided not to acknowledge her, maybe then she would leave me alone. No such luck, I still felt her presence. Only this time, she was closer. I could sense her body next to mine. She wasn't actually touching me, but I could smell her body spray, 'Love Spell'. Quite ironic if you ask me. It smelled good though, too good. I decided to open my eyes at that moment. She was leaning up against the wall as well, about an inch away from me. She was too close for my liking. Her golden brown eyes looked into my dark blue ones. Dark, not for any reason other than from me smoking. I let out the puff of smoke I hadn't realized I had been holding in. She stepped back and coughed. I snickered a little.

"Anyone ever tell you not to talk to strangers?"

She regained her composure then and looked up at me. Shocked that I had even decided to speak, I'm sure. Eh. What can I say, I'm not much of a talker.

"Well you aren't that much of a stranger now are you?"

It was my turn to look at her, a confident smirk on her face. I just looked at her, rather intensely, if you will. Her smirk vanished within seconds. She bit her lip nervously and sought out a different view, a view that didn't consist of me. It was my turn to smirk then, but only for half of a second. After a few more seconds her gaze returned back to me. I turned my head then and looked off into the distance, staring into the some what empty parking lot. I took another drag from my cigarette, then exhaled. I dropped the rest of the cigarette on the floor and stomped on it. I may care less about things, but I didn't want to risk anything to catch on fire. Juvie is not some place I would want to end up. No matter what anyone has heard, I have never been there, nor do I plan on ever going there.

I focused my eyes on her again. She tried to look away quickly, but I knew she had been watching me the entire time.

"You should really be getting home. It's late." And it was. 3:03 am to be exact.

She turned to me and held her breath. She wanted something, that I knew.

"I was actually wondering if I could get a ride with you."

I pondered whether to give her a ride home or not, it's not like it was out of my way. I didn't trust myself with her, is all. She looked at me hopeful. I was tempted to brush her off and continue my attempt at ignoring her. It didn't work.

"Fine."

With that she smiled and hugged me. I stood there stiffly. I wasn't exactly used to people touching me. Well all, except for my father. He was the only one I really felt comfortable enough with to let come into my personal space. Her hug, however, was different. Not awkward or bad, just different. It still didn't stop me from staying in place and not returning the hug though. She felt my discomfort and released me.

"Sorry...I just..." She barely whispered.

I didn't let her finish. I pushed off the wall and began to walk to my car. I didn't need to look back to know that she was following me. As I stated before, she always did.

I reached the driver's side of my car and reached out for the handle, but then her voice stopped me.

"Thanks again....you know for the ride."

I nodded and got into my silver convertible BMW without saying a word. She mimicked my movements and opened the passenger side door. I turned the car on and glanced at her. She looked at my expectantly.

"Uh...what?" She asked.

I leaned over her, grabbed the seat belt and buckled her in. She smiled, embarrased.

"Oh."

My hand reached for the gear shift and placed it into 'drive'. With that, we were off.

The drive was quiet, to say the least. The only sound in the car was due to Damien Rice, "Cannonball" was playing gently through the speakers. I noticed her lips moving softly, out of the corner of my eye. She was singing along to the lyrics. I never figured her as one to listen to this type of music. I guess you really shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

She interrupted my thoughts.

"Uhm Spencer? The light's green."

I shook out of my daze and noticed that the light, was in fact, green. I lightly pushed the gas pedal and continued to drive through the streets of Los Angeles.

I pulled into my drive way, and noticed that all the lights in the house were off. Of course, everyone else was asleep. It was now 3:45 am. Anyone in their right mind would be asleep at this time. I guess I wasn't in the right state of mind. Apparently, neither was she. She waited patiently as I put the car in 'park'. We unbuckled our belts and stepped out of the car at the same time.

I began to walk to my front door, until I pick up on the fact that she was still standing next to my car. She's looking down, seeming to be deep in thought. I stand there, waiting for her to walk across the lawn and enter her house. Yeah, we live next door to one another. She doesn't make any movement though. I do, however. I walk the short path to her and stand in front of her.

"Look, I know we live in the suburbs and all, but I'm sure even you can figure out which house is yours."

She has her eyes shut and I notice her take in a deep breath. She opens her eyes then. They look into mine, as if looking for something. What? I'm not sure, but before she does find what she's looking for, I break our gaze and step back. She bites her lip, just like she did earlier. I've come to notice that she does that a lot. It's rather interesting.

Just as I'm about to head back in the direction I had come from, I feel her hand on my wrist. I look back and stare into her eyes. I wait there, anticipating her next move. She exhales. Nothing. I shake my head.

I turn to walk back to my house and right as I'm about to unlock the door, I feel her behind me. She shifts me around to face her. She's barely a breath away.

"I'm sorry, but if I don't do this now, then I never will."

Her lips are on mine just as I'm about to ask what she's talking about. I don't return the kiss, she knows. She removes her lips from mine and steps back. Apologizing repeatedly.

"I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself any longer. I shouldn't have..."

This time I'm the one to place my lips on hers. I feel her relax and return the kiss. She smiles into the kiss and sighs contenly. I pull back and for the first time, I truly acknowledge her. I take her in, all of her. She's gorgeous. When I return my gaze up to her face, I see her staring at me intently. I lean in to capture her lips again. Now it's me who can't help themselves. She tangles her hands in my hair and moans slightly. You would think I'd be the one to moan, considering her hands are in my hair, but nope. It's all her. I'm not complaining though.

I pull away from her lips, her eyes are shut when I glance at her. I lean in close to her and whisper, "Remember to breathe."

I softly kiss her one last time, only this time it's on the cheek, and head into the house for the rest of the night. I lean against the door and wait until I hear her foot steps retreat. A minute later I hear a door close in the distance and know that she's home safe and sound. At that moment I realize what I've done. I sigh, run my hands through my blonde locks and head upstairs into my room.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but one thing is for sure. I won't allow myself to fall for Ashley Davies, the girl next door.

* * *

[[Thoughts?]]

---[[SamIAm]]--


	2. Naturally

Disclaimer: Tom is the genius who owns it all.

* * *

To say that I was avoiding her like the plague would be an understatement. I stayed locked up in my room for the next few days, hoping that she wouldn't come over asking for me. She didn't, which surprised me. I was sure she would. Part of me felt relieved while the other part of me was, we'll I'm not sure. Sad? No. That couldn't be it. _I_ do not get sad, especially not over gorgeous brunettes who live next door. Please, how pathetic do you think I am? That was a rhetorical question by the way.

Just then the door bell rang. I stopped my thoughts to see if anyone would open it. I wasn't sure if anyone was even home. I heard Paula open it then.

"Ashley. Dear, how nice of you to stop by. Come in, come in."

My heart thumped against my chest. I was not excited in the least bit that she was here. Nope. Not, at all. But golly gee, that woman was so fake. Made me want to gag. I heard _her_ footsteps as she walked into the foyer. The front door shut then.

"To what do I owe this pleasure sweetie?"

See? Totally, fake. She doesn't even call me that. Then again, I could care less.

"I was actually wondering if Spencer was here."

Please say I'm not here. Please say I'm not here.

"Oh, she's right upstairs in her room. You can go up if you'd like."

Next thing I heard was her footsteps climbing the stairs. Great, now comes the time when we're forced to have that "talk" about our feelings and what not. This shall go well.

She knocked on the door a few times before opening it. I didn't turn to look considering I already knew who it was. I was sat by the window looking out. Not much of a view, really. All I could see was her house and part of her front yard. Lovely, isn't it? Ha.

"Hey Spencer."

I still had yet to grant her presence, so I continued to look out the window. I heard her shut the door and sit on my bed. I refused to talk first, since she was the one that came to see me.

"So..."

I closed my eyes and sighed. Whatever she wanted, she better get to saying fast. I didn't have time for this. And is if on cue, she spoke.

"About last night..."

I opened my eyes in anticipation. Waiting. Paula decided to come in at that moment though.

"Would you girls like any snacks? I've made my infamous brownies."

I ignored her. Ashley didn't.

"That would be nice, thank you."

I could practically hear her smile. Paula returned a few minutes later with a plate full of brownies and a cup of milk.

"Here you go. I wasn't sure if you wanted milk Ashley, but I brought you some just in case. Spencer you know where the milk is, so you can go get some for yourself."

I looked at her with a blank expression. Gee thanks. Ashley looked slightly uncomfortable as she looked down, finding my bed spread interesting. She was nibbling on her lip, as always.

"Okay well you girls have fun."

The devil woman closed the door as she stepped out. Thank goodness she was gone. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my pack of cigarettes. I was looking through the drawers for my lighter. I couldn't remember where I had left it. It was my favorite one. It was silver, with a butterfly in the middle that lit up with different colors when the flame would ignite. It was given to me in ninth grade by a friend, Edgardo.

"Looking for this?"

I chanced a glance at her and noticed her holding the silver object. Reaching to grab my lighter, I slowly approached her.

"Sorry Spencer, but smoking is bad for you."

I ignored her last statement and still tried to reach for the lighter. She was acting childish, holding it above her head. She forgot, I was about an inch taller than her. She maneuvered it to her other hand and continued to keep it out of my reach. I really didn't have time for this. Thinking of only one thing to distract her, I put my pack into the ass pocket of my jeans. Yes, I call it 'ass pocket'. I caught her eye sight and bore my eyes into hers. There were tiny flecks of gold. _Wow._ They were rather hypnotizing, but I erased my mind of such thoughts.

I took a few steps closer to her causing her to take a few steps back. She stopped when her back hit the wall. She was stuck between the wall and my body. Her gaze landed on my lips, then traveled up to my eyes. She bit her lip and I smirked. I had her right where I wanted her. I knew she was distracted then because she didn't hesitate when I reached to grab for my lighter. I put it into the front pocket of my jeans. All while never looking anywhere except in her eyes. I didn't want to admit, but her lips were quite inviting. So I did what most sane people would do in the company of a gorgeous person. I leaned in, but before I could get to where I wanted to be, a noise took over the silence.

_'You are the thunder and I am the lightning. And I love the way you know who you are, and to me it's exciting.'_

I stepped back and she sighed. She took out her iPhone from her ass pocket, turning off the sound but not before checking to see who had called. Raising my eyebrow in question, I continued to look at her.

"So I like Selena Gomez, sue me."

I sneered at that. I must admit, Selena Gomez sure wasn't bad to look at. She's my age, don't judge. You know we've all had little crushes on those little Disney Channel stars. All from Hilary Duff to uh...to whoever else was on Disney Channel. Like Miley Cyrus, ugh _whore_. Team Selena for me. She was from Texas while the other was from Tennessee. Not much competition. I was broken out of the little debate in my head when she began to talk.

"That was my mom. I guess I should get going."

I don't know what she expected but she stood there waiting. I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket and lit it up. I inhaled, deeply. When she figured I wasn't going to stop her, she headed for the door. Just as she was about to exit, she turned to me one last time.

"You really should quit. Not everyone thinks it's sexy."

With that she left. The nerve of her. To even think I was doing it just for the sex appeal. Whatever. What does she know anyways? I walked over to the window and opened it. If Paula found out I was smoking in my room again she would go ape shit. I really didn't want to have to deal with her again. Once was enough to last a lifetime.

I saw Ashley walk across the lawn onto her own property. I guess she felt me staring at her because at that moment she looked up at me. She stared for way too long, and then smiled. Ugh. I took one last drag then flicked the cigarette in her direction. It didn't even come close to her, I wasn't that mean. Before shutting the window I quickly glanced at her and saw her frown. _She'll get it over_. I shut the window then and walked over to my bed.

_'And I love the way you know who you are...'_

Selena's voice rang through my head. Great, now I was sure to have her stuck in my head as well. Eh, at least it wasn't the stupid Jonas Brothers.

I shut my eyes then and tried to take a quick nap.

_'Ashley Davies, you are my thunder and I am your lightning."_

My eyes couldn't have opened faster enough. What. The. French toast. Yeah, sleep sure wasn't coming anytime soon. Just perfect.

* * *

Sorry if my updates aren't as frequent as you'd like. I'm trying though, I promise. I try not to upload anything until Liza has read it (and approved). She'll usually edit it for me, but she'll have me upload it.

Also one more thing, I'm not going to be able to update until Saturday. I'm going to my grandma's house for the week and she has no internet. *sigh*. But one good thing shall come of it, I'll have more time to write. And since Liza will be coming over, Ima have her help me out.

Anyways, thanx for all the reviews and alerts. I greatly appreciate them. :o)

--SamIAm--


	3. Griffith Park

Same disclaimer as always. Not mine and never will be.

BUT I shall tell you one thing. You have not lived until you've seen Mandy & Gaby in person! Gah! Soo gorgeous. Liza and I had the honor of going to the 'Girltrash' set and it was incredible! Best 12 hours of my life. Anywaysss, I'm done talking for now. Sorry. On with the story....

* * *

I was on my way to Griffith Park to try to get some shots of the sunset when I saw her outside.

"Do you need some help?"

I was carrying three different types of cameras and two different length tripods. I could ignore her and continue to my car and risk dropping over hundreds of dollars worth of equipment or accept her offer. As tempting as the first option was, I didn't want to risk damaging any of my cameras. They were more precious to me than my own mother. Harsh? Well, she's not exactly mother of the year.

I nodded towards her and thanked her as she grabbed the two tripods from under my arm. I balanced my three cameras in my arms and walked to my car. She followed.

"So where are you off to?"

I put my cameras in their separate cases and gently put them into the backseat of the car. After making sure they were safely put down, I walked to the trunk and opened it. I grabbed the tripods from her and placed them neatly side by side.

"Out."

That's all I said. It wasn't exactly any of her business anyways. I didn't feel bad in the least bit. She just nodded and looked down, biting her lip per usual. I don't know what possessed me to ask, but I did.

"Do you, uh, want to come with?"

I guess I felt a little bad, but just a little. She looked back up at me and smiled brightly. I walked over to the driver's side of the car and waited for her to get into the passenger side. Once she was securely safe, I drove off in the direction of the park.

--------

We were lying on the hood of my car. It had been a long day. I got plenty of shots, but not many that I was pleased with. She assured me that they were nothing short from great. She's a horrible liar.

It was actually peaceful. She lied next to me with her eyes closed. I wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep or was just resting. When her eyes met mine, I got my answer. She blushed and turned to look up at the sky. There weren't many stars out, but those that you could see were quite bright.

"Spencer?"

I turned to her and waited for her to continue.

"Why do you ignore me?"

I turned away from her and looked up into the night sky. Well there goes the peace. I stood up and leaned back against the windshield. She mimicked my movements and took a glance at me. I felt her eyes bore into the side of my face. She doesn't think I notice, but I do. I always do.

A few minutes passed and still had yet to answer her. I heard her sigh then. I assume she gave up on hoping to receive an answer. She got off the hood of the car and walked away. I really didn't feel like going after her. I just wanted to stay in place and wait for her to return so we could get home. It was nearing midnight. Time sure goes by fast when you're having fun. Fun, ha sure.

When she didn't return fifteen minutes later I got a tiny bit worried. I got off the hood and walked in the direction I had seen her walk. She was standing by a tree, looking out into the city. The moonlight was shining against her soft skin. _Beautiful. _

I stood next to her and sighed, making my presence known. She didn't look at me, just kept staring off into the well lit city. Neither of us spoke, just soaked in the sight of the city.

Los Angeles. Most people think it's this great place where dreams come true. Well most people would be wrong. Sure it was nice, but only in some areas. Other areas consisted of many homeless people and dirty grounds. I sometimes wondered how all those people got to where they were now. It saddened me to think about it. How they could go from having a home and a comfy bed to having nothing but a cardboard box that was now their new home. To having a roof over their head one day to having nothing above except the night sky. Yeah, L.A. sure was great.

She interrupted my thoughts then.

"I'm ready to go when you are."

Her voice was soft, sad. I felt as if it was my fault and maybe it was. Nothing I could do to fix it now though. I shook my head in agreement and waited for her to follow. She did. What surprised me, however, was that I reached over to her and clasped my hand into her. Fingers interlaced.

When we got back to the car I opened up the door for her. Shocking as it may be, I do have some manners. She softly smiled in appreciation and got in. I closed the door gently and made my way to the other side. Before I knew it, we were back on the road and heading home.

-------

"Do you need help with the tripods again?" She asked as I opened up my door and got out. She did the same.

"I think I'm just going to leave them in the car." She nodded in understanding and started walking home. I grabbed my cameras from the back seat and made my way home.

I stopped when I heard her speak.

"Thanks again, Spence. For letting me tag along, that is."

I slightly smiled at her, but said nothing. She walked into her house and shut the door without another word.

When I got up to my room I released the breath I had held in. That was the first time she had ever called me 'Spence'. No one else calls me that except for my dad. It was kind of nice, even though I would never admit to it. After washing up and getting ready for bed I walked over to my desk. I placed the cameras next to my laptop and shut off my night stand. Before getting into bed, I walked over to my window to shut the blinds.

I never noticed how close our houses actually were. I never noticed that her room was right across from mine.

I saw her through the window. She was getting ready for bed herself. She did everything with gracefulness; the way she ran her hands into her hair before pulling it up, the way she put down her necklace on her night stand, even the way she bit her lip was graceful. _She_ was graceful. I stood there watching her until she shut off the lights and got into bed.

I followed her movements and went to bed as well, leaving the blinds open. The moonlight shone through the window. It reminded me of earlier, when it illuminated her face. So beautiful, so angelic but yet, so sad. I don't want to believe it was because of me, but sadly, I knew it was.

With that, sleep took over me and I was off in a whole other world.

* * *

Sooooo, not the greatest, but I tried. Care to share your thoughts? Opinions? Anything?

Also my laptop is messing up [[i desperately need a new one, preferably a MAC]], sooo i'm sure you know what that means....but i'll try to update soon. Given, if yall want me to.

--SamIAm--


	4. I Wanna

Disclaimer: The usual.

This chapter is more of an insight into Spencer's life and stuff. You also get a flashback, which is the first and last time I will ever write one. I suck at them and try to avoid them at all costs. I felt that it was needed though, to give some history to the two ladies. So if you were slightly confused before, I hope this clears it up a little. If it doesn't, blame Liza. xD (Liza and I have known each other since the 7th grade (we're in college now), so if you see me messing with her, it's okay 'cuz I'm allowed to. Lol.)

On with it...

* * *

I came out when I was fifteen. My dad was more than accepting, while Paula, well she's a bitch. My older brother, Glen who was sixteen at the time, was rather skeptical about it, but still accepted it. I recall him telling me that even though he knew nothing about the gay culture, he would always be there for me and support whatever decisions I made. I was grateful for that.

When I told Dallas, my fourteen year old sister, she smiled and hugged me. "Spencer, I love you. No matter who you are, you will always be my sister. But you have to promise me one thing." I looked at her. "You choose the one you love. Not mom, not me, not even Glen or dad. _'The fate of your heart is your choice and no one else gets a vote.'_" Dallas had always been the cheesy one in the family, always reciting quotes.

"I promise." She leaned over and wrapped me in her arms. Dallas was the one I've always been closest to. Without her, I don't know what I would have done. She was my kid sister and I was always going to love her.

--------

Ashley and I had always had an interesting 'friendship', if you will. Ever since the first day we met, back when she moved here a few months ago.

_Paula had made us go over to our new neighbors to welcome them. Key word: made. I was in my room minding my own business listening to my iPod when she barged in._

_"Spencer, are you not ready yet?"_

_I ignored her. Something I learned to do well. I guess she wasn't in the mood because when I didn't respond she yanked my earphones out of my ear. Nope, didn't hurt at all._

_"I said get ready. Try to look decent, I don't want our new neighbors thinking differently of us just because we have a weird daughter."_

_I had heard enough. I walked into my closet and hoped she would get the hint to get. The fuck. Out._

_"Spencer, how dare you walk away from me when I am talking to you! Have I not taught you better?!"_

_I guess she didn't._

_"Woman, I heard you. Now will you please, get the hell out."_

_She looked appalled._

_"I am your mother young lady and you will treat me as such."_

_Does she ever get tired of talking so much?_

_"I will start treating you like my mother when you start acting like one. As far as I'm concerned you are nothing but my egg donor."_

_She huffed at that and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Good riddance. Finally, some peace and quiet._

_I checked my outfit. Looks fine to me. Black skinny jeans and a band tee. The usual. I grabbed a hoodie on my way out._

_Paula, Glen and Dallas were waiting in the foyer. Dad wasn't home yet, still stuck at work._

_"Finally! And did I not tell you to look decent." Yeah, that was the devil herself._

_"I think Spencer looks good, Mom." That was Dallas. See, always supportive._

_"Yeah mom, she looks fine." Cue Glen. I'm glad I had two very supportive siblings._

_Paula didn't say anything in return. She just opened the door and stepped out. Dallas looked over at me and smiled sympathetically. I closed the door behind me and followed Dallas, who followed Glen._

_When we were all standing in front of the neighbor's door, Paula straightened up and checked to see if we were straightened up as well. When her eyes landed on me, she scoffed and turned to ring the doorbell. Bitch._

_A man around the same age as my dad opened the door. He introduced himself as Raife. He opened the door wider and let us in. He lead us into the living room and encouraged us to sit down. I decided to plug my earphones back into my ears and turn on my iPod. The All American Rejects "I Wanna" played on my iPod. A woman walked into the living room and greeted Paula. Words were exchanged between the two then she looked over at the three of us and smiled._

_Just then, she walked in. _

_**'There's no way out**_

_**I gotta hold you somehow**_

**I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you'**

_Enter Ashley Davies. Daughter of Raife and Christine Davies (I later found out). Dallas nudged me and broke my gaze. I turned to her and raised my eyebrows at her. She grabbed my iPod from my hand and paused it. I took out the earphones and listened to her. She's the only one I'd ever let get away with doing that._

_"You're drooling Spennie." Yeah, I hated that nickname. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my iPod out of her hands._

_"Maybe Spencer and Ashley can hang out sometime." Say what? My eyes locked onto the person who had voiced the suggestion. She smiled at me in delight. Uh I don't 'hang out'._

_"Oh well I'm not so sure about that. Ashley seems like such a lovely young lady, I'm sure she would have more fun hanging out with Dallas." I hate to say, but thank you egg donor._

_I couldn't help rolling my eyes though. I stood up and all eyes were focused on me._

_"If you will excuse me," I barely whispered._

_I headed towards the door and heard footsteps behind me. Assuming it was just Dallas, I kept walking. When I got outside I took in a deep breath._

_"Spencer, right?"_

_It wasn't Dallas. I turned to her and remained silent. I hope she wasn't expecting me to say anything in return. She said nothing for a while, so I continued to walk over to my house. She had followed. Before I could enter my house her hand stopped me. She gently touched my shoulder and I flinched away from her._

_"Sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself, properly. I'm..."_

_"Ashley. I know."_

_She appeared nervous and bit her lip. I stood there expecting her to continue, when she didn't I spoke up._

_"Well I'm gonna go."_

_Her mouth opened as if to say something, so I gave her time to voice her thoughts, she didn't. Tired of the silence, I stepped into my house and shut the door._

-----

Paula found out Ashley was gay that day. Apparently it was _**okay**_ for _her_ to be gay. Whatever, Paula's a hypocrite.

But that's when it all began. Our quite 'unique' friendship. Every time I think back to that moment though, Dallas and I's conversation always comes into play in the back of my head. Maybe, just maybe, it was a sign......Ha, who am I kidding? Of course it wasn't. Who believes in that mumbo jumbo anyways? Not. Me.

* * *

I actually do believe in all that 'mumbo jumbo'. I believe in fate, destiny and signs. Keep in mind, _'You can't fight fate.'_

--SamIAm--


	5. I Don't Know Who

Besides the usual disclaimer, I don't think I have much to say. Hm....yah nothing. Oh wait, I do.** K))** = L.O.V.E.

Okay I'm done.

* * *

"Spencer, wake up!"

That would be my oh so lovely sister. "Not now Dallas, please."

"If you don't get up right now I'm getting the bucket."

Ugh. Could she sound anymore like Paula? _6:45 a.m. _Was she on crack? Who the hell gets up so early on a Monday?

"We have school and you always take forever to get ready. So get your precious ass out of bed and into the shower."

She thinks my ass is precious? Aw thanks Dal. Wait. School? That's why she woke me up at this ungodly hour? Pft. Fuck that. I'm staying in bed. It's not like I need to go. Trust fund baby. Oh did I mention we're loaded? How else would I be able to afford a Beemer? Paula's a surgeon and father dearest is a lawyer. Nothing special.

"Spencer! Off your ass now!"

Oh, forgot Dal was here for a moment.

"Fuck. School."

"Spencer, _please_ get up. You know how mom gets when you aren't out of the house by 7:30."

Yeah, there's a certain time where I have to be out of the house. Isn't Paula just the greatest? Sarcasm was my best friend. I love it and it loves me.

"Spennie!"

Enough of this already.

"Fine!"

I throw the covers off of me and head into my closet. Dallas was still there when I returned. I looked at her expectantly. What else does she want?

"Ashley's really nice."

Okay, what the fuck? Where did that come from? She looked at the expression on my face; Emotionless. I guess that wasn't what she was hoping for. She continued anyways.

"Did you know she's a really good musician? Raife taught her practically every instrument known to man. She's really talented and her voice! Oh lordy, she has a great voice. You should really hear her sing one day."

No, she's not gay, but sometimes I do wonder. I rolled my eyes at the kid. Since when was she best friends with Ashley?

"I'll pass."

She sighed. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed myself a pair of boy shorts. They're really comfortable.

"Spennie, when are you going to stop fighting temptation and give Ashley a chance?"

Seriously, what is wrong with this kid? Talking all kinds of nonsense if you ask me. Oh and if you didn't notice, she _adores_ Ashley and thinks it would be so 'grand', her words not mine, if we got together.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Now, she scoffs. She doesn't believe me. I don't care. She can believe what she wants. I'm not lying. I have no feelings or any sort of attraction to Ashley. None whatsoever. Nope.

"Oh really? So it wouldn't bother you if I told you that Summer asked her out last night?"

Summer was another neighbor of ours. She was eighteen, captain of the varsity volleyball team and the girl everyone drooled over (everyone except for me, of course). So in other words, she was a complete whore. Wait... She asked her out? I'm guessing Dallas was satisfied with my somewhat shocked expression.

"Exactly." Cue smirk...and there it is. I know Dallas all too well. "Well I shall depart now." Yes, she really does talk like that. So weird. "And hurry up, I need a ride."

I was just about to open my mouth and retort until she shut me up.

"Zip it Spennie. Now move, move, move!"

She walked out of my room, leaving the door open. Little sisters are such a pain in the ass.

"Love you too!"

Whoops, I guess I said that out loud. Oh well.

I walked over to my stereo and plugged in my iPod. When I found what I was looking for, I turned the volume all the way up. Killola's "I Don't Know Who" was the last thing I heard before entering the shower.

-------

_7:29_ I still had a minute to spare, I was making good time. But of course, Paula didn't think so. She voiced her thoughts as soon as I stepped foot into the kitchen.

"Spencer you are to be out of this house by 7:30 so you will not be late for school! Poor Dallas has been here waiting for you. You are so irresponsible..."

I wasn't in the mood to hear her voice so early.

"Woman I'm done! Will you get off my back already?!" I looked at Dallas and she knew the look. 'Get your shit and let's go.' She quietly grabbed her things and walked to the front door. Opening it slightly and waiting for me.

"I will not tell you again to respect me as your mother by not calling me '_woman'."_

She just didn't give up. It was astonishing, really.

"And I will not tell you again that I will start showing you respect as a mother when you start acting like one."

I turned my back from her and walked over to Dallas. She opened the door all the way and headed out to my car. I was done with this shit. You would think I would have been long gone by now, considering I was a trust fund 'baby'. Well, you've thought wrong. I'm not allowed until I'm of age, eighteen. So I'm stuck here for another few months with dragon lady. Well, at least I had Dallas and Glen. Dad too, when he was around. I miss him. He's been overseas for a week on a business trip. He wouldn't be coming back for another week.

I shut the door behind me, hard. I took a moment to compose myself. _Inhale. Exhale. _Okay, I'm good now. Stupid Paula had to go and ruin my morning. I slipped on my aviators as soon as I stepped completely outside. The sun was rather bright that morning, meaning it was going to be a hot day. Great, just what I needed, hot weather. I was more of a cold person, ha could you tell?

The first thing I noticed when I began walking to my car, besides the sun, was that s_he_ was right there, leaning against the passenger side of my car, talking to Dallas. This morning just couldn't get any better. Sarcasm, my friend, you've returned.

I walked over to them and wondered what _she_ was doing here. They must have not noticed me approaching because they looked up at me surprised.

"Morning, Spencer." She blushed. It was cute, sort of.

I didn't respond, just kept my sight on her through the lenses of my sunglasses.

"Okay, well I was wondering if maybe you could give me a ride to school."

"Of course, we'd be more than happy for you to join us."

That sure as hell wasn't me. Dallas, you brat. Oy. Ashley must have sensed the slight tension between us Carlin girls because she broke the silence by thanking me. I don't know why, I wasn't the one who said it was okay for her to catch a ride with us.

Dallas ignored the death glare she knew I was shooting towards her through my aviators and casually hopped into the back of the Beemer. Awesome, that means Ashley was up in front with me. I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the hell hole, or as most of you call it, school.

"So Ashley, tell me, when are you going out with Summer?"

I swear I saw her glance over at me through the corner of my eye. Well I think she did but for what? Did she expect for me to care? I didn't. Do I ever care? No.

"Uhm, I'm not sure."

She's not sure? Uh okay.

"What do you mean?"

Yeah, what _do_ you mean Ashley?

"Well she asked, but I didn't exactly accept."

Okay you either accept or don't. There's not in between. Yes or no.

"Why not?"

Dallas, I love you, but god you sure talk a lot.

"Well I don't know. Maybe I'm waiting for a better offer."

Surely I must being going insane, because I swear on my dead gold fish's grave she _did_ look at me after she said that. Luckily, before anything else was said, we arrived at King 'lame ass' High. We all grabbed our things and got out, but before I was able to walk away, she stopped me.

"Thank you for the ride Spencer. I really appreciate it."

Dallas gawks at me from behind Ashley. She's making dumb kissy faces and I am so close to hitting her when I feel someone hug me from behind.

"Babe, finally. I've been waiting here since 7:45." It's 8 a.m., on the dot. Before I could respond my face, a pair of hands are holding my face and lips are being crashed into mine.

Oh, did I fail to mention that I have a _'girlfriend'_?

* * *

So I didn't intend for Spencer to have a girlfriend. It just sorta happened.

--SamIAm--


	6. Watch Me Go

So I rewrote this chapter a few times. Liza didn't approve of the first, so I had to come up with something else. I'm still hesitant about it, butttt eh. I tried. Thankz again to [LizaQC] for editing it.

Alsoo so sorry for lagging it, in my defence I have a good excuse....I was back on the set of Girltrash all week & haven't had time. I got to talking to Mandy & Gaby for a while & my gosh, they are so incredibly dorky. Lol. Amazing ladies.

* * *

So I have a girlfriend, Adrianna [or Aid, for short]. Well I guess I wouldn't exactly call her my girlfriend. We aren't official or anything, well to me we aren't official. To Aid? I don't really care what she thinks. Either way, it's nothing serious. I don't do the whole 'girlfriend' thing. They never last more than a week, two tops. Last week it was Rachel, I think. Or maybe it was Raquel? Robin? Oh I know, it was Rory! No wait, she's the girl from "Gilmore Girls". Eh, I knew it started with an "R" and that's good enough.

"Uh, who's this?" _She_ asked rather confused. Well all turn our heads in the direction of her voice. I guess Dallas failed to mention Adrianna to her. Oh well.

"_I _am Spencer's girlfriend. Who are you?" Aid raised her eyebrow and looked at her.

"I'm Ashl..." Aid has never been polite.

"Yeah, whatever. So Spencer, where are we going tonight? I was thinking we could hit downtown." Both girls who I had driven looked at said _'girlfriend'_ in disbelief. She was rude, I know.

Just then, the warning bell rang. Saved by the bell. Adrianna began walking off, but stopped and raised her eyebrows in question. "You coming babe?" I looked over at the two other girls and shook my head.

"Whatever. Come find me later." She left after that. Thank god.

I glanced back at my little sister and neighbor. Dallas seemed rather ticked off and _she_ looked, sad? Hurt? Maybe both, I wasn't sure.

"So she's you're girlfriend?" That was quite unexpected. I was going to reply, but Dallas beat me to the punch.

"Ha! Bitch wishes. She isn't your girlfriend, right Spennie?" They both eyed me expectantly. Right when I was about to say something, the late bell rang. I heard Dallas curse under her breath and walk away. "We'll continue this later Spencer!" she yelled before disappearing down the hall. Well at least that took off some of the pressure. It returned, however, when I noticed _her_ still standing there. Was she not concerned about being late?

Apparently not. She walked over to one of the empty tables in the quad and sat down on the bench. I wasn't sure whether to follow or not. I did the first thing that came to mind. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. She frowned when she saw me inhaling the chemicals. She hated that I smoked, which only encouraged me to smoke more.

I walked over and sat on the table itself. I continued smoking and she continued to sit, quietly. This wasn't awkward at all. Aw my best friend, Sarcasm, was back. I put out my cigarette, already bored with it and I pulled out my iPod from my book bag, plugging the earphones into my ear. Music was my escape. I selected a song and let the lyrics of The Dollyrots' "Watch Me Go" pour into my ears.

_"And you deny  
You've done wrong  
Well I've kept my mouth shut too long  
Get out of my way oh way oh  
First you kissed me then you killed me  
Get out of my way oh way oh  
Won't stop me watch me go  
Watch me go"_

Not even half way into the song, I notice her get up and turn to face me. She stood there, just looking at me. What? Did I have something on my face? When she started reaching for me, my heart began to race, but just a teeny bit. Nothing big. All she did was pulled out the earphones, though. She grabbed my iPod and turned it off. Excuse you?

"Is she really your girlfriend?" Oh so that's what this is about, should have figured.

She waited for me to respond, but I simply said, "No." I tried reaching for my iPod but she put it into her purse.

"Then why does she think she is?" I sighed loudly. What was the whole point of this?

"She's stupid." She just glared at me; I guess that wasn't the answer she was looking for.

Suddenly, my craving for a cigarette returned. I was just about to grab the pack that I had placed on top of my book bag. Of course, she grabbed that too and put it into her purse. Okay, what the fuck?

"You smoke too much." So?!

"You care too much." Not my best remark, but whatever.

"Exactly." She walked away after that, heading towards the classrooms. Oh so now she remembers about class. I hopped off the table and walked to my car. I have another pack in the glove compartment; you didn't actually think I wouldn't have a back up pack, did you?

As soon as I was about to light up my second chemical stick of the day, I heard my name being called in the distance.

"Spencer Carlin, front and center." As if this day couldn't get any better, the wack ass principal just had to show up. I turned to look over at her and smiled rather phony. She stood in place and beckoned for me to approach her. I did, but not before tucking away my pack of cigarettes into my ass pocket.

"Give it here." She said as soon as I was in front of her. I looked up at her in question.

"Don't give me that look. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Smoking is forbidden on school grounds, you're lucky I don't call school police." Yes, our school was so lame that we had to have school police. More like rent-a-cop to me. I handed her the pack and sulked.

"If I ever see you smoking on my school again, I will have you escorted off. Do you understand me?" I would save my eye roll until after she walked away. I just nodded and she smiled.

"Good, now off to class young lady." Cue eye roll....right....about....now. Goodness she was finally gone. What the heck was I going to do now without my cigarettes? I would have to wait until school was over to go buy another pack. Too long to wait, but I had no choice. Stupid principal and her stupid school rules.

My vibrating phone brought me out of my thoughts.

_'Behaving?'_ It was Glen. If he didn't get a chance to lecture me before he left for school, then he would text me and lecture me through that.

_'Do I ever?'_

A few seconds later I got a reply.

_'Well start. We dnt need u getting n2 any more trouble. Dallas & I can only cover 4 so long.'_

_'No promises. G2G. Klazz.'_ He must be bored in class. I don't blame him. College seemed like such a bore. I don't know why he even went, it's not like he would need a degree in the future. Two words. Trust. Fund.

_'Luv u lozer.'_ He really was the greatest.

_'Ditto.'_

It was 9:01 a.m. A minute until the bell rang. No point in going to class now. I reached my locker in time to avoid the busy hallway as students filed out of class. Then I noticed her walking out of one of the classrooms from across the hall. She was looking over a paper in her hand, smiling. _Cute._

My face soon turned to disgust when the person behind her took her attention. Summer. They both talked animatedly, smiling and laughing nonstop. It all stopped when Summer leaned in close to her and kissed her on the cheek. Her lips lingered for quite a little too long before pulling away. Summer waved goodbye and headed down the hall, opposite of me. When she was out of sight, _Ashley_ turned in my direction and noticed me. She stood in place, looking alarmed. After a moment or two she started advancing towards me, but before she could get any closer, I slipped on my aviators and walked away.

Screw. This.

* * *

So....was it complete crap? It sucked, I know...=[ The next chapter is better....I actually like it. Hopefully yall will too.


	7. Blame It On The Changes

Disclaimer....same as always. Never will be mine. Sadly...

* * *

The week had gone by in a blur, thankfully. It came and went just as if it had even begun. Aid and I broke up, no shocker there. Dallas was relieved, saying she was a little worried at first but knew it wouldn't last. I just ignored her and rolled my eyes. Dallas, ever the same. She believed that no one would ever be good enough for me, except for _Ashley_. Who had actually sought out looking for Summer, asking her out. Leaving Dallas and Glen shocked. Apparently Glen agreed with Dallas and thought _Ashley_ and I would be good together. Eh. Me, however, well I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it. I've been ignoring it ever since she came over to tell Dallas and I accidently over heard. She and I were just _friends_, if you can even call it that, and she was allowed to date whoever she wanted. I wasn't anyone to stop her.

Dad came got in last night. His plane had delayed in Dallas, Texas. His original arrival time had been at 8 p.m. but changed to 10 p.m. It gave us an extra hour and a half to relax. Glen and I drove to the airport together to pick him up. Dallas decided to stay home, saying she wanted to spend quality time with Paula. Really though, I knew she was going over to _her_ house. She had called over looking for my little sister during dinner. It didn't matter to me though, I was just glad that my dad was finally going to be home.

When we arrived at the airport we spotted him immediately. He noticed us once we started heading towards him. He dropped his bags and picked me up, hugging me tightly. I was really glad to have him back. He put me down and kissed my temple, whispering that he had missed me. He turned to Glen after and hugged him as well. Once he was out of Dad's arms, he straightened up and fixed his shirt, attempting to act all manly.

"It's good to see you father." Dad and I just laughed at his poor effort to deepen his voice.

"You too Glen." he said. He looked back over at me and smiled.

"And of course you too Spence." No one could call me 'Spence' any better.

Of course, my mind drifted back to _her_ and the night when she had called me by my Dad's nickname. Maybe she could pull it off, but only _maybe_. We had reached Glen's Range Rover by then. Glen grabbed my Dad's suitcase and bags and placed them in the back. Dad opened the door for me before entering the passenger side up front.

"Princess." He stated. I rolled my eyes, but laughed anyways.

It was definitely good to have him home.

Glen drove away once we were all secure in the car with our seatbelts on. We arrived home about forty-five minutes later, due to traffic. L.A. traffic was the worst, no matter what time of day it was.

The Carlin men grabbed all the baggage and headed towards the house. I shut the door, about to follow in the footsteps of the other two, when I saw _her_. She was sitting by her front door with Summer. Their hands were clasped in one another's, fingers intertwined as well. Both were so caught up in the moment that they didn't see me standing right across the lawn. I was sort of glad they hadn't noticed me.

"You coming baby girl?" my dad yelled from somewhere near the house.

They noticed me then. _Her_ head shifted to the right and saw me. She dropped Summer's hands right away, which made me want to laugh, but I didn't. I just looked away and made my way towards my dad who was waiting patiently by the door.

"You okay Spence?" He put his arm over my shoulder and led me into the house.

"I will be." He looked down at me and smiled. I returned the gesture, and shut the door behind me.

And I would be, as soon as I figured out what exactly I was feeling about the girl next door.

-------

It is now Saturday, and it's raining. Way to start off the weekend. I stood next to the window sill in my room. There was something peaceful and comforting about looking out the window as the rain drops landed on the ground. I loved how the weather brought coldness, heat sucked. The gloomy weather was another favorite thing for me about the rain. It was relaxing.

I walked over to my stereo and connected my iPod. Pushing 'play,' I let the first song echo through my room. It was "Blame It On the Changes" by Dashboard Confessional. Putting the song on repeat, I turned up the volume.

_"I lay down, I can't sleep  
My mind drums on repeat  
I stare at the ceiling from my side"_

The soft melody fit my mood perfectly. It calmed me in more ways than one. I headed back towards the window and sat on the soft mini sofa that was resting against the wall just below the window. I picked up the book I had been reading for quite some time. Finding my glasses, I placed them on and flipped open the book to the page that was bookmarked.

_"I reach out you're right there  
But you're lost in the details  
I wait for the end of a long night"_

My attention caught a figure that was located outside the window. _She_ was in the middle of the lawn, just standing there. Rain drops soaking her completely from head to toe. Was she not worried about getting sick? She lifted her head up letting the rain drops land on her flawless face.

_"You can blame it on the changes  
I can take it any way it is  
We just got lost but we both found"_

She raised her arms up and began twirling slowly. The act reminded me of little child who was out in the rain for the very first time. How they would get excited to not have to be using an umbrella. It was kind of adorable. _She_ looked adorable. She seemed so at peace, as if nothing bad could touch her. She truly looked _perfect_.

_"We need this more than ever  
Can we take it? Can we save it  
Sink our teeth in tear away at it"_

She stopped spinning and dropped her hands. I hadn't planned to watch her for as long as I had, but I just couldn't tear my eyes off of her. Every movement she made was hypnotizing. How her chest rose up and down as she took in a breath. How one of her wet curls had fallen to her face. How she reached up and placed it behind her ear. All of it was just so captivating.

_"Can we hold out? Can you hold on?" _

She caught my eyes and blushed, embarrassed. She had nothing to be embarrassed about. She was beautiful. Biting her lip suddenly, eyes still locked onto mine, she waved.

I think it was my turn to blush this time. Why? It was beyond me. I don't believe I've ever blushed before. Not until now that is. I'm sure she caught sight of my shyness, because she smiled that amazing crinkled smile. I was in 'awe', truly.

I slowly lifted up my hand and waved back.

_"'Cause I need you more than you know now"_

I let the lyrics sink in...my only thought being, '_Maybe.'_

* * *

**A/N:** So I actually liked this update. I guess 'cause when I wrote it, it really was raining and I really was listening to that song. The rain inspires me, it puts a certain ease to things. But if no one liked this as I did, then I suck. Sorry.

Anywho...for those who don't know who the songs are by [[even though, I THINK I named them]] I shall list them:

1. Remember to Breathe by: Dashboard Confessional

2. Naturally by: Selena Gomez

3. Griffith Park is just a park. Lol. If there is a song out there with that title, I have yet to hear it.

4. I Wanna by: The All American Rejects

5. I Don't Know Who by: Killola

6. Watch Me Go by: The Dollyrots

7. Blame It On The Changes by: Dashboard Confessional

I highly suggest yall give a listen to Killola && The Dollyrots. They are amazing bands and definitely worth the listen. =]

&& lastly, i start school again 2mrw. bore. i hate college. so updates will be late....sorry.

So yes.. please R&R?


	8. One Less Lonely Girl

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts and other items...like my iPod & laptop & such n such.

So I'm a lil worried about posting this....'cuz in all honesty, no other update can compare to my last one. So if this sucks, sorry. =/

* * *

She went back inside about five minutes after our "hello's". I put my book down as soon as she was out of sight. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate after that. I took off my glasses, put them into their case and set them on top of my book. I shut my eyes, trying to control my fast beating heart. I don't even know why it was beating so fast. She was just the dumb next door neighbor who had no insignificance to me, right?

I shook those thoughts out of my head. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed my newly bought pack of cigarettes. I hadn't opened it until now, which means I hadn't smoked since Monday. It really was an accomplishment.

I passed Dallas' room on my way out the door. She was sitting on her bed reading a magazine. I walked over to her door and knocked softly.

"Come in." She looked up and saw me as I entered her room. Smiling, she sat up and closed her magazine, laying it next to her lamp on her night stand.

"Hey." I said quietly.

"Ah, she speaks." I laughed and rolled my eyes. She was weird.

"So what brings you to this side of the house?" I thought about it. Why was I here?

"You okay Spencer?" I think I was.

I nodded, walking over to her desk. She had a lot of pictures. There were some of her with friends, with dad, Paula and even Glen. Most were of us though, me and her. She was like my best friend and I was hers. Well at least that's what she had told me.

"True love can blind you, but at the same time if you let it, it can also open your eyes." Like I said before, she was filled with all kinds of quotes.

I snickered. I knew what, or well, who she was talking about. What exactly was I going to say to that?

"Do you want to go to the movies or something?" I missed hanging out with her.

"Right now? Uh, did you fail to notice that it's pouring outside?" I shrugged. So?

"Maybe some other time, when we're not likely to get washed away by the flooded streets." I guess she was right. It was raining too hard outside to even consider leaving the house.

"But we can do something else. Maybe make some brownies?" I accepted. That sounded nice. Before heading to the kitchen and showing up Betty Crocker, I wanted to go break in my new pack of smokes.

"I'll meet you in the kitchen in five minutes. Ten, tops." She already knew why I wanted extra time. She wasn't a fan of the chemical sticks either. She knew nothing would get me to stop smoking though.

"Okay, but make it quick." I nodded and headed down stairs. I slipped on my rain boots and jacket before opening the door.

When the door opened, the wind nearly knocked me down. It was that windy, so you could just imagine how cold it was. I considered not going out, but the pack was burning a hole in my ass pocket. It was too tempting to pass up. I snuggled my jacket closer to me and walked out, shutting the door lightly. I don't know why I shut it lightly, no one was home except for Dallas and I. Glen was most likely down the street at Cody's, another neighbor of ours who we practically grew up with. Well, him and his younger brother Jake, he was Dallas' age. I'm sure Paula was at the hospital and dad was probably at the office doing paper work.

The rain was slowly starting to stop, thankfully. It was just lightly sprinkling now. I really didn't want to get wet. As I inhaled the chemicals I stepped out further into the front yard. I loved the gloomy sky after a hard rain fall.

No one would ever know how comforting it was to me. Well no one except _her._ She was standing adjacent to her front door, just looking out into the distance. Maybe if I was quick enough, she wouldn't notice me. Wrong. Her eyes locked onto me as soon as I began heading back to the door.

"Hey." I couldn't just walk away, could I?

She began walking across the lawn towards me. I guess that answered my question. She stood a few feet in front of me. My heart was increasing its speed once again. Well this was weird.

"Hi." Yeah that was me, I even shocked myself. She smiled brightly.

I stepped aside, finishing off my cigarette.

"So what are you up to on this fine rainy Saturday?"

After putting out the cigarette, I turned back to look at her. She stood there watching me, her eyes traveling down my body and then up again. It made me _shiver_. That surely has never happened before. Maybe it was just 'cause of the cold. When her eyes met mine, she blushed. Before I could attempt to respond, Dallas came out.

"Spencer, does it seriously take you that long to smoke one cigarette?" When she noticed who I was with, her scowl turned into a smile.

"Ashley. Hey!" She walked over to _her_ and hugged her. _She_ returned the hug, pulling back smiling.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" I was quick to reply.

"No!" Dallas eyed me rather skeptically. Maybe I shouldn't have answered that quickly.

"So anyways, what are you doing today Ash? Going out with Summer again?" Yeah, I'm not here. Continue talking as if I'm not. Wait...she's going out with her again?

"Yeah. She should have been here by now." She checked her cell phone just as it rang.

"_There's gonna be one less lonely girl..."_ Oh her taste in music was astonishing, really. Justin Bieber, seriously?

I saw her push some random buttons then place her phone back into her pocket.

"Summer?" She nodded.

"What'd she say?"

"She said that she would be here in about five minutes." Oh.

"Well I guess we should let you go then." Dallas grabbed my arm and pulled me along with her.

"Actually, I canceled on her. Would you guys mind if I joined you?" There goes my heart beating fast again. I should really get that checked out.

Dallas smiled and looked up at me. Knowing I wouldn't protest, whether I wanted her there or not. "Not at all. Come on." We all headed to the front door. I held it open, letting the two other girls go in first. Dallas walked in first and _Ashley_ following in after. She stopped to look at me, really look at me. It felt weird, yet sort of comforting.

"Are you two homozexuals coming?" [No pun intended] Dallas yelled from the kitchen. I broke our gaze and looked away. What the hell?

_She_ blushed and continued in, walking all the way into the kitchen. Before I followed, I noticed a car driving by. It was Summer. She was shooting me the dirtiest look ever. Ha, bitch. I smirked, turning around and walking into the house. As I made my way into the kitchen, I noticed all the ingredients were all set on the counter.

"So who's ready to get down and dirty?" Dallas said as she rubbed her palms together. I turned to _her_ as she turned to me. We nodded our heads and slightly laughed.

I forgot to mention, when it came to baking, Dallas showed no mercy. Betty Crocker would stand no chance against her.

Yeah, today was definitely going to be fun.

* * *

So....maybe not that good? I'll try to make Ashley less desperate and Spencer more....open?

As for the song....I'm sure yall already know who it's by and the name of it, so I won't list it. =]

Well....R & R? Maybe?


	9. Brownies

Disclaimer: No es mio. [[Not mine]]

Sooo I'm updating sooner than expected...I'm bored and had nothing else to do soooo it led me to this. Ha.

Happy Single Awareness Day everyone! Ha. =P

* * *

Dallas handed me an apron once I made my way over to her. She had her apron on already as did _Ashley_. The one she had handed me was entirely pink and full of hearts. Yeah, she gets to use the cool green and black one while _Ashley_ got the all black one, leaving me to be stuck with the pink one. I held it an arm distance away, I don't do pink.

"Just put it on Spencer." I think not.

"It's either that one or Mom's." Paula's apron had cats all over it. She has some weird fetish with cats. It was quite disturbing.

I was left with practically no choice. I took off my hoodie, placing it on one of the chairs in the dining room, and put on the apron. Oh god, kill me now.

"Aw you look so cute. Who would have known you looked good with pink." I rolled my eyes. Whatever.

_She _shied away, trying not to get caught giggling. No such luck, I still saw her. Rude.

"So..." I turned my gaze back to Dallas.

"Let's do this!"

We grabbed all the needed ingredients and did our parts. My part was to mix it all together, sounded simple enough. I went over to one of the pantries and grabbed a glass bowl that was big enough to contain all the necessary brownie items. Handing it to _her_, she thanked me and did her part. I went in search and found the mixer, which was located in one of the cabinets. _She_ walked over to me handing me the now filled bowl, our hands grazing in the process. An electric shock shot through me, one that caused me to drop the bowl. It shattered as soon as it hit the floor.

_Fuck._

"Spencer!" Dallas stopped what she was doing and walked over to us, making sure that no pieces of broken glass had cut us. We were both okay. I ran my left hand through my hair, pushing it back. This was just great. I walked over to the kitchen closet and grabbed the broom and dust pan. Now I had to clean this all up.

"Our brownie making will now have to be delayed. Let me know when you're done cleaning this up. I'll be in the living room watching TV." No, I don't need your help Dallas. Thanks for asking.

I bent down as soon as she walked out. I might as well start cleaning it up. As I reached up for the wash cloth that I conveniently left on top of the counter, I noticed _Ashley_ bend down as well. I turned my head upward and caught her eyes.

"Need some help?" At least **she** was nice enough to offer, unlike some other girl who just so happened to be named after the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah, our family are HUGE Cowboy fans, which explains Dallas' middle name, Cowboy. It was Glen's idea. Why my parents listened to a little three year old boy, at the time, was beyond me.

"Thanks." I barely whispered. She began picking up all the glass, while I began wiping off some of the chocolate from the floor. It was quiet, the only sound coming from the room that Dallas was watching television. It sounded like she was watching "Wizards of Waverly Place". Was she not too old to be watching Disney Channel? I guess I shouldn't say anything, because I shouldn't even know what "Wizards of Waverly Place" was.

The silence wasn't awkward though, it was semi-comfortable. It gave me time to think and not feel pressured into having to talk to _her_.

"Fuck!" I guess I spoke too soon.

I dropped the cloth and rose to my feet. She was standing about an inch from me sucking on her finger. "Darn you stupid broken piece of glass."

I pulled her finger out of her mouth and examined it. She had really long and slender fingers. They were completely nice and soft. Was it weird to envy someone's fingers?

"Well you don't seem to have any glass stuck in your finger." My eyes left her finger and focused on hers. Hey eyes stared deep into mine.

"Huh?" I, brace your selves for this, giggled. Yeah, I actually giggled. I never giggle.

She smiled her trademark smile while her eyes never left mine. The short distance seemed to be getting smaller by the second. I broke our daze, my sight leaving her eyes only to travel down to her lips and then back up. I could practically feel her breath on my lips. I was so tempted. She closed her eyes, leaning in about 90% of the way. If I really wanted, I could have her lips against mine. She would be right where I knew I wanted her to be. I just don't know if I could deal with the consequences of it. I didn't want to have to deal with all the possible feelings that may come from this.

I guess my time had expired, because next thing I notice is her pulling away. She opened her eyes and stepped back.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just, you were so close and I just thought that..." Wow, she sure was hanging out with Dallas too much. Talking nonstop.

"Uh it's okay." I tried lightening the mood by attempting to smile. It didn't go so well, she was now stepping further away from me.

"I'm just going to run my finger under some water." She stepped around me and walked over to the faucet. I'm sure she didn't intend for me to hear her sigh, but I did. I noticed her slumped shoulders as she stood by the sink. I felt bad, I did. It's not like I didn't want to kiss her, I really did. It's just complicated.

She shut off the water then but stood still in place. I walked over and stood behind her.

"Spencer, look I don't...." She turned around and noticed just how close I was. I didn't mean to stand this close, at least I don't think. We were back in the same position as we were a few minutes ago, only in a different spot and this time, I didn't hesitate. I placed my left hand behind her neck and pulled her into me. Before letting our lips collide, I looked into her eyes, only to see them closed. When she didn't feel my lips against hers, only then did she open them. She sighed.

"If you're not going to kiss me, then please don't mess with me." She sounded so sad.

I did the only thing I could do. I removed my hand that I had placed behind her neck and dropped it to my side. I dropped my head as well, releasing a breath, I wasn't ready for this. Her head was down when I looked back at her.

She nodded her head, I guess in understanding and stepped away from me. She walked back over to our previous spot and threw the broken pieces of glass away.

"I'll be in the living room with Dallas." I heard her footsteps fade and she made her way closer to my little sister.

I sighed and walked back over to the chocolate covered floor. I began wiping away the chocolate again, cleaning the same spot over and over again. I knew it was already cleaned, but anything to delay the time until they came back into the kitchen.

When I knew I couldn't prologue them coming back in any longer I regained my posture and threw the cloth into the sink. I noticed Dallas walking into the kitchen as I rinsed off the chocolate covered cloth.

"Finally. Hey Ash, you can come back in now. Cinderella is done cleaning." Ha Dallas made a funny, pft not.

When she entered the kitchen she avoided my gaze. I can't say I blame her. The rest of my evening went on pretty much the same. Dallas was clueless, and _she_ was avoiding me.

If it was last week, I would have kissed her, no problem. It wouldn't have meant anything to me. It would have been just like kissing any other girl. Now though, well now I just couldn't. I had a feeling about why I couldn't kiss her. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself, let alone to anyone else. I've kept up the walls for far too long to just have some girl come in and knock them down.

The only problem was that I knew she wasn't just _some_ girl. She was more than that. I was just too stubborn to realize it in time.

* * *

So...at least Spencer is coming to terms with things? Maybe? Yeah, okay, probably not. Ehhh...sorry. I don't know.

Review?


	10. So I Thought

Disclaimer: Tom is the man with the all the good stuff.

* * *

The weekend went by fast, which I was grateful for. She avoided me for the rest of the weekend, just like she had done on Saturday. Part of me was sort of...sad, while the other part of me was more than relieved. I wasn't ready for the consequences of kissing her knowing that this time it may just mean something. On Sunday, I went out with Glen and some of his friends to a club. They got drunk, leaving me to be the designated driver. I didn't mind though, I was never a fan of drinking and making a fool out of myself. No offense to all those who do, do that. At least something semi-good came out of it, I got a new _'girlfriend'_, Sadie.

Today was Wednesday and I wasn't in the mood for school, but of course Dallas thought otherwise, which explains my current location, sitting at one of the tables in the quad, ten minutes before school started. I was smoking a freshly lit cigarette, with my aviators and iPod earphones in place. Dallas had left me once we arrived, saying she had to get some books out of her locker. Didn't matter to me, just as long as I didn't have to hear the usual lecture about how horrible continuing to smoke was.

I noticed Sadie strut over to me from the parking lot. I didn't even know she went to King High. Ha, I guess you do learn something new every day.

"Hey gorgeous." She smirked, attempting to come off sexy. Yeah, keep working on that 'babe'.

I nodded my head toward her, acknowledging her. I had yet to take my earphones out of my ear, but the volume was low enough that I could still hear her. She leaned down and tried to kiss me. I guess I forgot to explain the rules to her. I turned my head, leaving her to kiss my cheek. She looked at me with a sad confusion on her face.

"I don't do PDA." I said while exhaling the cigarette smoke.

"Oh. Well is there any way you'd make just one exception?" She asked hopeful. She was joking right?

"No." Simple as that. I don't change the rules, for anyone.

She nodded in understanding and sat next to me. She was quiet. It was making me rather uncomfortable. I grabbed her hand and interlocked our fingers. That's the most I would allow myself to do in front of anyone. I wasn't ashamed of my sexuality, far from it. I just didn't need people knowing my business, mostly because it was none of their business.

Sadie smiled at our interlocked fingers and I half smiled back. She was pretty, extremely, but there was just something off. That being, Sadie wasn't who I wanted her to be, but she was way better than any other ex-girlfriend of mine. Maybe, Sadie would last for longer than a week, _maybe_.

Thinking of the devil, she just arrived...with Summer. Cue disgusted face.

"You okay there Spencer?" I removed my gaze from them and focused on Sadie.

"Uh…yeah. I'm good." She dropped my hand and stood up. Summer and _Ashley_ noticed us then. I took my earphones out then and turned off my iPod, placing it in my book bag.

I turned my head back in their direction. _Ashley_ grabbed Summer's hand and leaned in to kiss her. I smirked. So she was going to play this game? Two can play at that. I stood up as well, grabbing Sadie's hand and tugging her closer to me. She stopped herself from falling on top of me by placing her left hand on my shoulder. I let her hand go, only to cup her face. Pulling her in, I kissed her. It was soft and slow at first. When she began pulling away, I didn't let her get far. I placed my lips back on hers seconds later. During mid-kiss, I opened my eyes to see _her_ staring. She looked down, kind of hurt. Whatever, she started it.

I didn't even notice we had stopped kissing until Sadie began talking.

"Wow. I thought you didn't do PDA. Guess you couldn't keep your hands off of me." She smirked.

_Ha you wish._

"Uh sure." I grabbed my book bag off the table and began walking away. Sadie grabbed her things and followed me. When did she become the one to follow me? It didn't matter. I just needed to get out of that quad.

I just had to turn back one last time. I wish I hadn't, it was a big mistake, Summer had her tongue practically shoved down _her_ throat. In that moment, I was glad I hadn't kissed her on Saturday. Fuck her.

I rushed off in the direction of the lockers. I needed out! I ran into Dallas as I turned the corner.

"Whoa, watch where you're going Spennie."

"How about **you** watch where you're going, you clueless brat." I don't even know why I was mad...okay, so I kind of did. Whatever, she should have been more careful.

"What crawled up your ass?" I just brushed passed her, not even caring if Sadie followed.

When I got to class I walked to my seat and threw my stuff down. I looked up and noticed my teacher standing at her front desk.

"A pleasure to have you in class for once Ms. Carlin, however, you do know you are about seven minutes early, correct?" I nodded and sulked in my seat.

Thinking back, I should have just left campus. I really wasn't in the mood to stay confined in different classrooms for the entire day. As soon as this class was over, I was out. It's a good thing classes were only about an hour long.

-----

Finally! Time had seemed to be going by slower than usual.

_Dear Father time, you suck._

Why is it that when you want time to go by fast, it never does and when you want it to go slow, it doesn't? That's total bullshit in my opinion.

It would be just my luck to happen to run into _her_ as soon as I exited my class. She looked shocked to see me. I don't know why, we do go to the same school, which isn't that big.

She shifted from side to side, biting her lip. The temptation was killing me, but then I remembered earlier and how her lips were against that whore. I held onto the strap of my book bag tighter and walked away.

"Spencer, wait." She followed.

_Just like old times._

It only made me walk faster. I pulled out a cigarette and lit up as I made my way to my car. Gosh, the parking lot sure was farther than I thought. She stopped me as soon as my hand came into contact with the handle of my car door.

"Why are you so mad? You don't want me. Summer's nice and..." Oh so this was my fault?

"You're right, I don't want you. So why don't you go and run back to that bitch?!" Her eyes looked glazed over. I knew that look. I caused that look in most girls eyes.

Please. Don't. Cry.

She shut her eyes and blinked back the tears. Ugh she was so frustrating. What was she still doing here?

"You're such an idiot." Excuse you? "Fuck." I couldn't help but say the next three words.

"When and where?" I winked and quirked my eyebrow. Her eyes looked into mine with disbelief.

"You are so...." I cut her off.

"So what?" I don't think I've ever spoken this much to her.

"Just so… Ugh! You say you don't want me, yet you're over here practically fuming from being so jealous." Pft, she wishes I was jealous.

"I'm not jealous." She crossed her arms, yeah she didn't believe me either.

"Then why are you so mad?" Good question.

"I'm not! Kiss who ever the fuck you want!" I'm not sure if that was the right thing to say or not.

"Fine, I will!"

She grabbed my face between her hands and planted her lips harshly against mine. It took me a moment or so to respond, but I did. Her lips were like heaven on Earth.

_Perfection._

Of course that was until my phone went off. I slowly and regretfully broke away from the kiss. _Damn._

_"And dread the wait for Stupid calls returning us to life"_

Ha! Lyrics have never been more accurate than they were in this exact moment.

I looked at the caller ID, and then looked back up at Ashley. She gazed at me expectantly.

"I have to go." She looked down, bit her lip and nodded.

I got into my car and drove off. So maybe I didn't really have to go, but I really did have to get out of there. I couldn't let her in just yet, plus she had a girlfriend and so did I.

* * *

No worriessss, Ashley will have her day....I just have to figure out when. Ha.

So Spencer's ringtone is "So I Thought" by: Flyleaf [[give a listen if you haven't already.]]

Honest Thoughts? It sucks...I know...forgive me?

But alsoooo idk when I'll be able to update again...I've written a few chapters, but Liza has yet to check it out. So I'm waiting on her & until she checks it out and gives me her 2 cents, I can't update. So...if it takes a while....blame her. =P


	11. A Lovely Morning

**[[A/N: Sorry for the lack of update. I've been ready to post, just Liza's been busy and last weekend she went up to the mountains & wasn't able to check anything. She's also been lagging it. =P I'm still waiting for her to check the other chapters. I don't know when i'll get those, but here's chapter 11 for now. Again sorry for the wait.]]**

------

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

_

* * *

7:51 p.m._

That's what time it currently was. I was sitting in my bedroom minding my own business by reading a book, "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks to be more specific, when the brat herself came in. When I looked toward her, I knew right away that she knew about what had happened earlier. How I knew? Well, let's say the big smile on her face kind of gave it away.

She sauntered over and sat next to me on my bed. When I didn't pay her any mind, she grabbed my book and set it aside. I still made no attempt to glance towards her.

"Spennieeeee." She literally emphasized the "E".

I sighed, might as well get it over with. I turned to her then and waited for her to say what she was going to say.

"You kissed Ashley." No shit.

"Is that so?" She shook her head up and down, her smile never leaving her face once.

"It is indeed. So tell me." Uh...what?

"Tell you what?" She rolled her eyes.

"How was the kiss? Was it all magical? Was it with fireworks popping in the background?" She watched way too much television.

"It was just a kiss. Not Fourth of July." Lie numero uno. She looked skeptical.

"I'm going to take that as a yes." If she smiled any bigger then her smile would surely gobble up her face. Is that even possible? Hm...remind me to look that up later.

"Whatever." I moved off my bed to my closet. It's never too early to get ready for bed.

"I knew it! You so like her! Ha Glen owes me twenty bucks." Say what?!

"You guys had a bet?" Her eyes widened.

"Uh no. No, of course not." She looked at her wrist watch. I didn't even know people still wore those.

"By golly gee, look at the time. Where does it go? I shall leave you to your duties big sis." She's weird I tell you.

She walked over to me and hugged me from behind.

"I'm so glad you finally came to your senses and gave Ashley a chance."

I did what?

"Uh no." She let go and looked at me.

"What do you mean "no"?" It wasn't that difficult to understand.

"It was just a kiss. It doesn't mean anything." And to top it all off, lie numero dos. Her jaw practically hit the ground then.

"Surely you must be joking." I walked into my bathroom that was conveniently located in my closet.

"Spencer Carlin you come out right this minute!" I poked my head out the door.

"I thought I already did." I couldn't help it. She didn't find it funny. As for me, I was laughing my happy gay ass off.

She crossed her arms and huffed. She does that when she means business. Guess this was going to be a long night. Well since I was already in 'trouble' I might as well take my time putting on my pj's.

---

Last night was as I predicted, long. Dallas didn't end up leaving my room until around 11 last night. Well last I had checked it was 11:01. After that, it was all a blur. She gave this whole lecture about the fundamentals of love and how I was scared to love. I wasn't, by the way. I was more than open to love. Well, maybe not, but still, whatever.

I decided not to go to school the next day. I think I deserved a day off. So instead of getting up and doing my morning routine, I continued lying in bed. I hate when you get used to waking up at a certain time that when you try sleeping in you just can't.

_7:06 a.m._

I heard Dallas and Glen walking in the hallway, followed by my Dad saying his "good-byes" to them as he passed them in the hall. My door knocked then, already knowing it was him I told him to come in.

"Hey Spence. Not feeling well today?" He set his briefcase by the door and made his way to my side. I sat up and scooted over, giving him more space.

"I'm fine." He nodded.

"So I take it you aren't going to school today?" This time it was I who nodded.

"You better watch those absences."

"I haven't been out....much." He gave me that certain questioning look.

"Okay fine. I'll be better on going to school." He smiled.

"That's my girl. I'll see you after work." He kissed the top of my head before heading out the door. Glen came in after him.

"I don't have time to have our morning talk. I'm running late." Well that's one less lecture.

"What a shame." He rolled his eyes.

"Sarcasm isn't pretty on you Spencer." Gasp. Yes, I actually gasped. Sarcasm is my best friend. Of course it was pretty on me. Nothing else was prettier.

"See you later." He laughed as he shut the door. Pft. He's lucky I love him.

Not even five minutes had passed until my door was opened once again. This time it was Dallas.

"I need a ride butt face." Dallas laughed at my panicked expression. I had walked over to my mirror and looked at my reflection. I do not have a butt face. I walked back over to my bed and began getting under the covers again.

"Spennie, I really need a ride."

"Why don't you ask Paula?" I'm sure she'd be more than happy to.

"She left early this morning." Well I guess she's shit out of luck then.

"Sucks for you kid." She groaned.

"You suck donkey butt Spencer." No, I do not suck, I lic...I won't even finish that. I'm sure you get the picture.

"Ask one of your friends or something." She was pouting now. But the pout quickly vanished.

"I'll ask Ashley then. I'm sure she wouldn't mind, she could always come over and wait while I finished getting ready." She's a brat I tell you.

"You have two minutes." She grinned. She may have won the battle, but she has not won the war.

"Thank you." She skipped out into the hallway afterwards.

I grabbed my cell phone and hoodie as I made my way downstairs. The house was really quiet, I liked it. You know, silence is key. But of course, that was interrupted when the door bell rang. Who could be knocking on the door so early? Do people not work? Before I could open the door though, Dallas rushed passed me and opened it first.

"Oh. Hey Ashley. What brings you by on this lovely morning?" I looked over Dallas' shoulder to get a better view. She was flawless.

"I thought you said to come...." Dallas began shaking her head and clearing her throat before she could finish.

"Erm, I mean I was wondering if I could have a ride to school?" She sounded confused.

"Of course Spencer will give you a ride. Right, Spencer?" Both sets of eyes were set on me. Did I really have a choice?

I pondered it for a moment.

"Right, Spencer?" I guess that answered my question.

"Right." I walked passed them both as I headed to my car. Unlocking the four wheeled vehicle, I set my aviators on and got in.

_I am so going to hurt Dallas._

_

* * *

_

**[[A/N: So....not much, but I'll try to make it better. Sorry if it sucked.]]**


	12. Trust Me

[[A/N: So I know I said I would never do a flashback again, but eh. This sort of had to be done. I still hate flashbacks though. *sigh*]]

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

_The drive to school was a silent one, which I was thankful for. Despite the silence, it was sort of awkward. Dallas was oblivious to the tension though. She did the same she did every morning. She would flip through the radio stations and when finding nothing that would entertain her, she would grab my iPod and play The Fray's "Trust Me". She did it every morning on our way to school. There was no point in even flipping through the radio stations, but you try telling her that. She would just end up ignoring you and continue with her routine. She did that with me anyways._

_We arrived a few minutes later. Shutting off the car, I waited for them to exit. Dallas did seconds later, knowing there were words to be said between Ashley and I. Ashley got out too, but made no indication that she was going to leave anytime soon._

_"Well I shall leave you two ladies." She grabbed her backpack and took a few steps away from the car, but not before throwing in one of her many memorized quotes._

_"Before I walk away, I will leave you with this." She cleared her throat and released a deep breath. God, she was so weird._

_"If you want to tell someone how you feel, then say it, pain only lasts for a while but regret lasts a life time." With that she smiled and walked toward the lockers._

_I was trying so hard not to laugh, but of course I failed myself. It wasn't one of those 'ha that was so funny' laughs. It was more like 'well this is awkward' laughs._

_Ashley must have felt the same way because she began laughing as well._

_"Dallas is so weird." I couldn't agree more. She opened the passenger side door and sat inside, she didn't close the door though._

_"You have no idea." She stopped laughing and looked at me. Her eyes locked onto mine, which caused me to stop laughing too. She was close, really close. I think it had to do with the fact that one of us was leaning in. I wasn't sure who._

_"Ashley." She looked up at me, but said nothing. It was now or never._

_"I think we should just be friends." She sighed. I wasn't sure what it meant exactly._

_"Okay." She smiled, or at least she tried to. I think._

_"Really?" She nodded._

_"Well okay then." I wasn't sure what to expect. Maybe for her to ask 'why?'. She didn't though. She just smiled, got out and shut the door behind her. She began walking away until I called out to her._

_"Ashley..." She turned back to me. "I'm sorry." She smiled._

_"It's okay." She waved and walked off into the quad. It had been easier than I thought. Maybe she was just done. I wouldn't blame her. I wasn't ready and I wasn't sure just how long it would take for me to be ready. I don't even know what I wasn't ready for. It was frustrating._

---

That had been sometime last week. I'm not entirely sure when though. I just knew today was a new day. A day I was not going to school, again. So I was lazy and hated school. Sue me. What teenager actually liked going to school and wasn't lazy? Exactly.

The only reason why I was up so early was because I had to take Dallas to school, again. Maybe Ashley too, but I wasn't sure. I hadn't really talked to her since last week. We did say 'Hi' and 'Bye' when we ran into each other outside, but that was mostly it. Which was more than I could say I would have done if it were weeks earlier. I had opened up just a tad bit more to her. Sort of. Despite that, we were okay. Even though we hadn't really talked, we were friends. At least I believed so.

"Spencer?" I looked in the direction the voice had come from.

"Glen." He smiled.

"Let me guess, no school?" I grinned. He knew me too well.

"Don't get caught. The 'rents won't be too pleased." I shrugged.

"Well, I'll see you later. Love you." He was a great big brother.

"You too ass face." He rolled his eyes, but still smiled.

_7:23 a.m._

Dallas would want to be leave soon. I grabbed my hoodie and cell phone. I had already brushed my teeth and washed my face. I needed to play the part of pretending to go to school. It was a good thing no one would be home all day. Paula had an all day shift and Dad, well I don't know. He wouldn't be that mad if I stayed home, I don't think.

"Dallas, I'll wait for you in the car." I said as I passed her room.

Once outside, I placed my aviators on and inhaled the cool breeze. I began walking to my car, barely noticing another figure standing off to the side.

_Ashley._

She was trying to start her car, but failed. I heard her mumble some curse words before giving up and slamming the door shut. She exhaled and placed her hand on her forehead. A sight that was just too cute for words. She must have heard me laugh because she turned in my direction then.

"You wouldn't be laughing if it were happening to you." She smiled and began walking the short distance to me.

"You're probably right." She reached me then and I took in her features. Too beautiful.

"Need a ride?" She pretended to ponder it over and laughed when she saw my confused expression.

"If you don't mind." I didn't, which Dallas so gladly announced.

"Of course she doesn't." Déjà vu much?

Dallas walked passed me and headed to the car. Ashley stayed in place, however, and I did too. Her eyes never left mine. It wasn't awkward, which I was thankful for.

"You know, it would help if you unlocked the door Spencer." I guess I forgot to. Dallas threw her backpack into the car as soon as she heard the car unlock.

Ashley broke her gaze away from me and began heading to the car, leaving me in place. Something was different, but I wasn't sure what.

"You want the front Ash?" I heard Dallas say as I walked over to the driver's side of my car.

"Nah, it's okay." Part of me felt...I don't know, disappointed?

Dallas nodded and began to put on her seatbelt, Ashley doing the same in the back. Our eyes locked for a second before she turned away. I wasn't sure what to make of that, but I didn't think it over too much. Instead I turned on the car and headed to the place that was practically our second home.

Gosh I hated school.

* * *

[[A/N: So....thoughts?]]

Oh & the song is "Trust Me" by: The Fray. I believe it is my favorite song from them. However, I love all their songs. Amazing band!


	13. Kiss With A Fist

A/N: I do apologize for the short size of the last update. Sorry. =/

Disclaimer: Never mine.

* * *

I watched them exit my car once I put my car into park. I was only dropping them off so there really was no need to turn off my car, but gas these days were a bitch. I hated spending money. Does that make me cheap? Eh.

"Thanks for the ride Spennie." Dallas waved good-bye as she disappeared into the crowded quad.

"So, thank you...for the ride, again." I turned to glance out at _Ashley_ through the passenger side window. She was shifting her weight from one foot to another. She was...nervous?

"It's no big." She nodded her head up and down, biting her lip.

She was just about to say something else when someone had reached over and put their arm around her waist.

"Hey babe. If you needed a ride, you could have called me." Summer. Just thinking about her name made me want to hurl. She ignored my death glare and tightened her grip around Ashley.

Oh I forgot to mention, Summer and Ashley have been hanging out all week. Practically 24/7.

She looked up and turned her attention to the other girl. Opening her mouth, about to speak, but never getting the chance to.

"Spencer! Where have you been?" And that would be Sadie. What is up with all these interruptions? Sadie walked over to my side of the car and leaned into the window to kiss me. I hesitated at first, but she was my _girlfriend_.

When I pulled away, after a nanosecond of lip contact, I turned my head and looked back at Ashley. She was looking off into the distance of the quad, then turned back and looked at me again.

"Well thanks for giving **my** girlfriend a ride Spencer, but in the future, know that it won't be necessary." She removed her arm from around Ashley and instead placed her hand into Ashley's. She began tugging Ashley away until I stopped them.

"Ashley!" I unbuckled my seat belt and began opening the door. Sadie stepped back, not wanting to get hit by the door.

I walked over to my more than beautiful neighbor and stood before her. Her attention was on me then. Knowing that being this close to her would tick off Summer, only fueled me more. I leaned in and whispered into her ear, "You can have a ride whenever you want."

It wasn't anything special, but it was enough to have Summer practically foaming at the mouth.

_Job well done._

I turned back around, completely forgetting that Sadie was still standing there. She looked just as mad as Summer. Eh, she would get over it and if she didn't, oh well. I didn't care.

Once seated back in my car, I turned the key in the ignition and headed back home. I was ready for a nap. Does that make me lazy? Oh well. I reached for the knob of my car stereo and let the tunes of the song currently playing on the radio spread throughout my car.

_"Love sticks_

_Sweat drips_

_Break the lock if it don't fit_

_A kick to the teeth is good for some_

_A kiss with a fist is better than none"_

Oh how I wish I could kiss Summer with my fist. Pft. She sucks. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I reached to grab it out. Stopped at a red light, I didn't see any harm in reading it.

_'Watz ur deal?'_

Sadie.

I'm assuming she was talking about the whole thing with Ashley. There was no deal between Ashley and me. I sighed, for some unknown reason. I looked up and noticed the light had turned green. Luckily no one was behind me. Otherwise I'm sure I would have been getting honked at. I tossed my phone to the side, forgetting it for now, and continued my way home. I loved the silence of being home alone. It was relaxing.

I went into the kitchen and decided to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. _Special K Red Berries _were the best. I don't care what anyone else said about them. When I was about to set my phone to the side, it vibrated again. That always trips me out. I flipped it open and read the text from none other than....Sadie. Again.

_"R u cheating on me w/ her?!"_ Things like this made me want to roll my eyes, which I did, while typing back a simple reply, _"No."_

3...2...1 _Vibrate._

_"Then wtf wuz dat earlier?"_ She was really starting to get on my nerves now.

_"Nothing."_ I didn't even bother shutting my phone, knowing it would vibrate in a few seconds. And just like that, it did.

_"Ur lying. U kno wat I dnt have time 4 ur lies. We r over."_ Geez, talk about issues.

_"Ok."_ There really wasn't much else to say, it's not like I actually cared.

_"U dnt even care! Gosh ur such a bitch!"_ That made me laugh. I shut my phone and tossed it to the side. Hm...I should really get a new phone. Flip phones were too much of a hassle. Having to close it and open it over and over was just too much work.

Once I finished my bowl of cereal, I placed it in the sink. Paula could wash it later. I headed toward my room and wondered what to do for the rest of the day. There was nothing. Maybe I should have gone to school. I thought that over.

_Ha not!_

Once I reached my room I headed straight for my bed. It was the most comfortable bed, in my opinion. Before I knew it, my eyes were shutting closed and I was off in a whole different world within seconds.

-------------

A loud knock on my door woke me up. I turned to the clock next to my night stand. _12:11 p.m._ Ugh. I felt even more tired than before. The knocking continued and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Spencer." It was my dad. He was home early.

He opened the door and came in with two bags. _Carl's Jr. Yum!_

"I figured you would be here." I looked down, but he just laughed. He always knew when I would and wouldn't go to school.

"I thought we could have lunch together." Have I ever mentioned how great my dad was? Well he is.

The rest of our lunch went by as any other usual lunch. We talked, we laughed and we bonded. Great times.

Before I knew it he was heading back to work and I had to get up and get ready to pick up Dallas. It was early dismissal day which meant the entire school got to leave at 1:30. When I looked at the clock again it was already 1:18. I had a few minutes until I would have to head out, but since there was nothing to do, I just headed out anyways. I could wait in the parking lot for a few minutes.

I parked in the space that was nearest to the quad. There were students already sitting at the tables. They had probably ditched their last class. Knowing if I would have come to school today, I would have been among those students most likely smoking a cigarette. Which reminds me, I haven't smoked one all day. Too long for my liking. I reached into the glove compartment and reached for the emergency pack, I came up empty. Remembering then that I had that pack confiscated.

_Damn._

I guess I could wait until I got home. Just then the bell rang, signaling the end of school. I saw Dallas emerge from the group of students, noticing me right away she began heading toward the car. I noticed Ashley emerge as well. She was just so...fascinating. I didn't want to tear my eyes away, but sadly I did. Summer had walked over to her and pulled her into a long kiss. One that Ashley didn't break away from. When they broke apart, both girls were smiling and laughing with each other. It was then that I felt a sort of pang of desire in my chest. A desire for what? Hell if I knew.

Summer grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her along toward her car. She looked up then and saw me. Smiling briefly, she waved. I did nothing. Not making any affect, she turned her attention back to Summer and let her continue to lead them to her car.

"You ready to go Spennie?" I hadn't even noticed when Dallas arrived. I guess I was too caught up in someone else.

My gaze never leaving their direction, they sped off and out of my vision. I dropped my head, but picked it up suddenly. I was not going to let her have any affect on me. I was not going to let her in.

"Yeah. Let's go."

It was too late though.

She was already in.

* * *

A/N: I'm not so sure about the ending...but eh. Too late to change now, isn't it? Oh well.

Anyways, the song is "Kiss With A Fist" by: Florence and The Machine. The title makes me laugh, but the song is good. :]

& with that, I shall be gone until next time....which idk when that will be since I'm waiting on Liza.

But yes....Adios!


	14. A Good NightRight?

**[A/N: So an apology is in order. So I am SOO sorry! I've been busy & so has Liza. She barely got back to me on the updates, but she's been beyond busy, so she's sorta forgiven. =P But really, sorry. I hope yall can forgive us? =/ ]**

Disclaimer: Not Mine!

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It was Friday night and I couldn't be happier. Why? You may ask. Well it is because Glen, Cody, Martin (another friend of Glen's) and I will be attending a club later on in the evening. I jumped at the invitation that Glen had offered my way. It has been way too long since I've gone out. Given it's only been like two weeks. That was still way too long in my book.

I had until 10 to be ready. It was 8:41 right now. I have plenty of time, but even though I do, I don't want to risk it. I grabbed the clothes that I had placed on my bed and walked to the shower. I love having a bathroom in my room.

I emerged out of the shower twenty minutes later. Drying off and putting on my clothes, I noticed my hands. If there was one thing that I liked most about myself, it would be my hands. Go figure.

I decided to wear the 'not so usual'. I wore a black skirt with a black top. So maybe it was kind of the usual, but I wouldn't wear a skirt on any other given day. I have to admit, I lookgood. It may not sound it, but if you saw me, you would agree.

_9:13 P.M._ The clock read. I guess I took longer drying off than I had thought.

I dropped my clothes into the hamper on my way back into my room. I saw Glen sitting on my bed, dressed and ready to go.

"Finally! I was starting to get old waiting for you." Pft I didn't take that long.

"I thought we weren't heading out until 10?" Had I misunderstood?

"We were, but we got bored waiting for it to turn 10 so we decided to leave sooner." Guys are so impatient.

"Where are the boys?" He got up and stretched.

"They're downstairs waiting for us."

"Just give me 10 minutes to do my hair." I rushed into my bathroom again and searched for my blow dryer. I had already plugged in my straightner when I got out of the shower. Finding the object, I began blow drying my blonde locks. Hm I wonder what I would look like as a brunette. I considered the change, but shook my head. There was only one person who could pull that look off. That person being was the girl who has been on my mind constantly. I tried to get her out, but there was just no use.

"Spencer, hurry up! You're wasting my life!" I figured he would have headed downstairs and hung out with the rest of the male species.

"5 minutes." I don't think he heard, considering I mumbled it. I was too concentrated on fixing my hair.

"Spencer." I almost dropped the blow dryer then. Dallas had snuck into the bathroom without me noticing. Her stealth skills were impressive.

I remember this one time on Christmas a few years back she snuck into the kitchen and stolen two gingerbread men: one for her and one for me. She did that without getting caught by Paula who was standing in the kitchen along with my Dad. Neither had noticed her. So maybe she wasn't as good as sneaky detectives, but her skills were better than mine. I had the habit of knocking things down when I would try to sneak. Lately though, I've gotten better. Not better than Dallas, but it was an improvement.

"So where you guys headed to tonight?" I grabbed my straightner and began to straighten my hair.

"Some club." She walked over to my side and looked at my reflection through the mirror.

"Can I come?" I smiled.

"No." She pouted.

"Fine, but one day I will be going with you guys." That day wouldn't be coming any time soon.

"Well have fun." She began treading back in the direction she had, but stopped once reaching the door frame.

"Do you think, maybe, we can go to the movies sometime?" I put down my straightner and shut it off.

"Whenever you want kiddo." She smiled and walked out with that.

I don't know what I would do without her.

I headed downstairs and noticed the guys standing in the foyer. I laughed when I heard a whistle.

"Damn Spencer, you be looking fine." That would be Cody. He was your average college boy. Tall, say about 5'11, brunette and with green eyes. The only difference with him, he was a skater. How he and Glen ended up friends was beyond me. Glen couldn't skate to save his life. He tried once and failed miserably. I laughed.

"Cody, dude. You know Spencer prefers the female species rather than the male." Martin, ever the wise one. He was just a little shorter than 6 feet tall, blonde and blue eyes. He was different than the other two boys as well. He was more of a nerd, if you will, but a great guy nonetheless. He and Cody were like brothers. We had all grown up together, living in the suburbs all your life with all the same neighbors does that to you.

"A guy can try." Cody shrugged and Glen rolled his eyes at the guy.

"You've been trying since middle school. Never works." Martin was awesome. Sure he was nerdy, but he was a funny nerd.

"You boys ready?" They all shook their heads and began heading to the door. Just as I reached the door knob, it rang. Well not the door itself, but the doorbell.

I opened it to the last person I expected.

Ashley.

My mouth dropped open. Not because she was there but because of what she was wearing. Or well what she wasn't wearing, which was close to nothing. She was wearing a short mini skirt with a barely there top. Simple, yet completely drool worthy.

I glanced over my shoulder and just as I suspected, the boys were standing there like complete idiots. Mouths open with a dreamy look in their eyes. I snorted, guys were all the same.

"It wouldn't hurt closing your mouths, you know." That seemed to snap them out of their little daze.

"Guys, this is Ashley." Cody slightly pushed me aside as he made his way to Ashley.

Sticking his hand out, he greeted her. "Ashley, I don't believe we've had the honor of meeting. The name's Cody." She stuck her hand out, shaking his. Cody couldn't be any lamer, for what he was about to do would out lame everything Glen has done to pick up a girl. And let me tell you, he's done a lot of lame things.

Cody raised her hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. Told you, lame. He dropped her hand and smiled, showing off his shiny white teeth. Ashley laughed at the gesture but said nothing.

"Don't mind him." Martin said, pushing Cody out the door along with him. Passing her he said, "I'm Martin by the way." She smiled and reached out to shake his hand. This time not getting it kissed.

Glen followed the other two boys and headed to the car. Ashley turned back to me and opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it.

"Dallas is upstairs if you want..." Glen came back into view and grabbing the brunette's attention.

"Actually Spencer, I invited Ashley to tag along." Doofus say what?

"I hope that's okay." She said while turning her attention back to me.

I smiled. That's all I really could do. I was finding it hard to form words ever since I opened the door about five minutes ago.

I shut the door behind me as I exited the house. We headed to Cody's Range Rover that was parked in front of the house, but not in the drive way.

"Ladies." Cody said as he opened the door as we got closer to the vehicle. Glen was standing next to the front passenger door as was Martin, who stood next to him.

As I was about to get in, a set of headlights stopped just behind Cody's Range. They were shut off a minute later when the driver stepped out.

"I hope you guys don't mind but..." Somehow I figured the next words out of Ashley's mouth were not going to be pleasant.

"I invited someone else." The driver stepped closer to the group, making them more visible.

My jaw clenched when I saw who it was.

_Summer._

_Yup, not pleasant at all._

_

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_

**_[A/N: So...again, I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. I'll try to have the next chapter up by Sunday. If I get bored over the weekend I'll post sooner. Ha. Soorryyy, again!]_**


	15. Bed Rock

Disclaimer: Still not mine. *sigh*

* * *

Glen must have noticed me tense up because he whispered into my ear. "Chill."

"Damn. Don't tell me you're like Spencer too?" Cody's shoulders slouched as he realized that Ashley and Summer were more than friends. I think what set him off was the fact that Ashley and Summer were now in a lip lock. PDA, gag me. They pulled away, Ashley blushing and Summer, pft I don't care what she was doing.

"Well if you ladies are ready to go..." Cody and Martin headed to the other side of the Range Rover, as Ashley and Summer headed into the vehicle. Glen grabbed me by the wrist before I had a chance to move. He pulled me to the side and tried to calm me down.

"Spencer, breathe." I was breathing, how else would I be able to stay alive?!

"It's just one night. If it gets to be too much, we can always bail." And that's why I love him. He is always more concerned about my happiness than his own.

I unclenched my fists, which I hadn't noticed were clenched until then, and turned my gaze to him.

"Let's just go." He nodded and began heading to the car. He stopped just as he was about to open the door.

"How about you ride up front with Cody? I'll get the back." I have never loved him more than I did right then. Okay, that was a lie. There were moments where I have loved him more. But I was grateful for his offer.

"Thanks." He opened the door for me, as I got closer, and shut it as soon as I was safely inside.

-------

The club was pretty packed when we arrived. Getting through the groups of people was like getting through...uh...I'm not sure, but it was pretty hard. It's a good thing I don't get claustrophobic. Okay that's a lie, I totally do, but for the sake of having fun tonight I shall suck it up and take one for the team. Team Spencer.

I felt someone's hand slip into mine, but already knowing it was a guy's hand, I wasn't surprised to see Cody looking back at me, smiling. He leaned in closer to me, whispering, "I don't want you to get lost now."

Before we all get ahead of ourselves, Cody and I, yeah no. Just friends, it's always been like that. Before I came out, he did have a sort of crush on me, but it never escalated to more. I've never really seen him that way.

I smiled back at him and let him lead me to the booth we had reserved for us. We all sat in our usual spots, barely leaving enough room for our two extra guests. They slid into the seat opposite of me. Great, now I get front row center view of their make-out fest that I'm sure will come later on in the night.

We all sat in silence, despite the music blasting on the dance floor, and looked around at one another. Our positions were as followed: Me, Cody, Glen, Martin, a certain whore and thou who shall not be named. *cough* Ashley.

"So..." Cody, ever the wise one with amazing words.

"What can I get for you guys?" Thank the lord a waitress walked over and cut the awkward silence.

"I'll take a vodka cranberry." Cody spoke first, Glen and Martin's hands shot up and agreed for the same.

The waitress looked to _them_ and grabbed their drink orders. I would tell you what it was, but I didn't care enough to listen. When the waitress' eyes caught mine, you could practically see the want, the desire. I'm so not kidding. If you saw the look in her eyes, you would think I was a piece of cake and she wanted to eat me up.

"And for you gorgeous?" She was practically drooling at the mouth. Yeah, she wanted me. Couldn't blame her though, I would be the best chocolate cake anyone ever had. Ha.

"Green tea." What? I love my green tea.

She scribbled down my order, looking back at me once she was done.

Before walking away though, she leaned down, closer than close, and whispered into my ear. "When you're done with the others, **come** find me." Pulling back she winked, causing everyone's mouth to drop. Dirty, dirty. Once she was gone, everyone's expressions were still the same.

I couldn't help but laugh a little.

But the only person's reaction I really noticed was Ashley's. You could tell it bothered her. Her jaw was clenched as she looked out onto the dance floor as if looking for someone. I was more than happy with her "jealous" reaction, until she grabbed Summer's face and kissed her, rather forcefully. Okay, I retract my last statement. Nasty PDA.

"Damn Spencer. You got more game then us, and definitely more than Cody. You aren't even trying." Martin laughed after speaking the statement. Cody shook out of his shock demeanor and hit him in the shoulder.

Martin rubbed the spot where he had been hit causing me to laugh more. Boys were ridiculous. I got out of the booth and decided it was time to have some fun. Cody mimicked my movements and scooted out of the booth as well.

"Care to spare a dance?" Bowing, he offered his hand for me to take. Something you would see Prince Charming doing before asking Cinderella to take his hand. I playfully shoved him, but accepted his invitation. He grinned, more than happily, and led me to the dance floor. He's been doing that a lot tonight, leading me somewhere. I didn't mind it much though.

"Bed Rock" by....I wasn't even sure who sang the song. Lil Wayne? Drake? That Nikki chick? Or was it those other guys? All I know is that, that was the song currently playing as we hit the dance floor. Cody began dancing goofy like, starting off with the robot and ending with the running man. I was in a fit of laughs by the end. He was such a loser, in a good way, of course. After laughing it off, he grabbed my waist and we began dancing the 'right' way. I wouldn't exactly call it dirty dancing, but to outside eyes, one would call it that.

Cody began singing along to the lyrics, which was sort of funny. A white boy trying to act all gangsta, hilarious.

_"(Okay) _

_Ooh Baby, _

_I Be Stuck To You, _

_Like Glue Baby..."_

I don't know why any girl would want a guy, or another girl, to be that clingy. God knows I didn't.

_"Wanna Spend It All On You, _

_Baby...."_

I give him, the rapper, that. What girl didn't like to be spoiled?

_"My Room Is The G Spot, _

_Call Me Mr. Flintstone, _

_I Can Make Your Bed Rock (oooh..)"_

Hahaha okay seriously? What the frenchy? This was why I didn't listen to rap. Rappers thought they could get any girl on the planet. Ew.

_"I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock(oh ho oh...) _

_I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl _

_I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock _

_I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock"_

Cody finished that last part by whispering in my ear. If he ever thought I'd even let him on my bed, he was surely mistaken.

I pushed him back, playing it cool and not making it seem like that last part set me off a little. He just smiled and brought me closer again. I shook it off and continued dancing with him.

After about three different songs, we were parched, so we headed back to the booth. Glen was off dancing with some red head, while Martin was at the bar, seeming to be buying another drink. I wouldn't be able to tell you what Ashley and Summer were up to, seeing as they weren't anywhere near.

"Forget her Spencer. She's not worth your time." I turned to Cody who looked at me expectantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He eyed me suspiciously.

"Right, because you so weren't practically killing her girlfriend in your mind." Pft, now he's just speaking crazy. I wasn't imagining killing Summer, I was imagining beating her...with my 7-Iron. Huge difference.

"Whatever." He smirked, assuming he had won the conversation.

"It's only obvious, you know." Boys were annoying.

"Are you on crack Code?" He huffed.

"No, but it issss obvious."

"What's obvious?" Sigh.

"Spencer wants to fu....I mean, have Ashley." Way to save that. Pft.

"Oh. Ha yah it so is Spencer." Thanks for the help Martin.

"No it's not. There's nothing to be obvious about."

"Spencer, we both know you want Ashley. Like earlier, the way your eyes lit up when you answered the door and saw her standing there. The way you look at her, it's as if..." He trailed off. Gosh I hate when people do that. What's the point? Just finish your sentence.

"As if what?!" See, even Cody wants to know what he was going to say.

"Don't kill me Spencer, but it's as if you were in love with her." My eyes literally bulged out. Like, huge!

"But that's just crazy talk. Ha. Sorry." He smiled sheepishly, while Cody burst out laughing, most likely laughing at the look on my face.

Whatever they were huffing, they should really quit. That or at least share. Sharing is caring. Wait, no. Drugs are bad and gross. Never mind.

"You guys are both on crack." They eyed each other with a lift of an eyebrow then turned to the dance floor. Cody was smirking and Martin was turning back to me.

"If you truly don't feel _something_ for Ashley, then tell me that it doesn't bother you one bit that Summer is practically screwing her on the dance floor right as we speak." I turned my head in the direction Cody was pointing.

Sure enough there was Summer practically screwing Ashley. I'd describe what they were currently engaging in, but I'm pretty sure you could imagine it for yourself. I felt a little sick then, my stomach twisting in knots and not in a good way. I turned my gaze back to Cody and Martin. Cody smiled with a smug look on his face and Martin looked as if he felt a little bad. My eyes looked to the floor, setting on the three pairs of different types of shoes.

"So...tell me you don't care Spencer." I lifted my head and bore my eyes into Cody's. Martin was stepping back and to the side. He accidently bumped into a girl. They exchanged smiles and began engaging in a conversation. Seconds later Martin grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor.

"Well?" I turned back to the ass, yah I so don't like him at the moment, that was waiting for my answer.

He knew me well enough to know what I was feeling, but being the ass that he was, he wanted me to admit it.

"No. It doesn't bother me at all." His mouth dropped open in surprise. Loser.

I would have enjoyed the shocked expression on his face if it wasn't for the fact that I just told the lie of the century.

* * *

**[A/N: So just so yall know...I know absolutely NOTHING about rap/hip hop/R&B music at all. I just picked that song cuz well my brother is like obsessed w/ Lil Wayne & that's the only reason I knew of it. So yah, if it's not a good song, whoops. Ha. Anyways....Thoughts?]**


	16. Cue the Sun

Disclaimer: Still not close to being mine.

**[A/N: Yes, I suck. I know. I'm sorry. Last week has been a crazy week. So much studying had to be done and I really hate studying. Then this weekend I got sick. Horrible. I was waiting for LizaQC to check this but she's been busy so she wasn't able to, so I had to get my brother away from the computer [hard thing to do] and checked it myself. It took longer than I thought because I made some changes and yeah. Okay I'm shutting up now. Once again, sorry.]**

* * *

So I lied, big deal. Who doesn't lie? If you say you don't, bullshit. You know you lie. It's like human nature to lie. I don't believe there's one person on this planet that has never lied about something. It's inevitable.

So maybe I do care. Maybe I care so much that it scares the shit out of me. Scares me so much that I rather pretend to not feel anything for Ashley. Feelings lead to love and love leads to pain and heart ache. Something I am not willing to deal with. So instead of being open and letting Ashley in, I keep her at a distance and keep up those brick walls that keep away intruders with gorgeous eyes and amazing crinkled smiles.

Cue sigh.

I take out my cell and glance at the clock. _1:15 a.m._ We are still at the club, sadly.

Glen is off dancing with some girl, who I could care less about. Martin is talking to the same girl from earlier. They seem to be hitting it off. It's kind of cute, in a way, I guess. Cody is off doing God knows what, with God knows who. Ashley and slut face are currently sitting across from me in the booth, sucking face. Ugh. I so knew that was going to happen. PDA will be the death of me. Gag!

I turn away in time to notice the waitress from earlier approach me. She's smirking and I can't help but raise a perfectly plucked eyebrow in question. When she reaches the booth, she mimics her same movements from earlier.

"Wanna boogie?" I know what you're thinking, who the heck says 'boogie'. I'm thinking the same thing. Loser. But despite that, it made me laugh. Which I'm assuming was what she was going for, given the smile she has on her face.

"Your laugh is cuter than I imagined." Noooo, that's not creepy at all.

Trying not to seem rather creeped out, I raise my green tea to my lips and take a drink. She regains her posture and takes a step back, extending her hand. I sit back in the booth, continuing to take another drink. To accept or not to accept? I place the half empty glass back onto the table. Glancing quickly in the direction of the two girls who were previously sucking face, I notice Ashley looking at me then turning to look at the waitress. The look on her face was all it took for me to accept the girls hand. She must have noticed Ashley's glare too because she winked at her before dragging me to the dance floor.

Keri Hilson's "Knock You Down" was the song that was playing. A song I actually knew! I liked Ne-Yo's part. It was way better than Kanye's.

_"I never thought I'd hear myself say. Mmm..._

_Yall go ahead, I think I'm gonna kick it with my girl today._

_I used to be commander in chief on my pimp ship flying high._

_'Til I met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky."_

The song was soon ending and I was hoping NOT for a slow song. How awkward would that be? But just my luck, a slow song came on next.

_Oh joy._

The waitress, who's name I have yet to find out, was looking around rather shy. Definitely not what I was expecting from the way she had been acting earlier. Her eyes locked on mine and for the first time that night I noticed just how pretty her eyes were. A very bright green. Think Kate Beckinsale as Selene in Underworld. Only instead of blue, hers were green.

"Do you, uh, wanna sit this one out?" I thought it over for a second. Not wanting to be rude though, I shook my head side to side.

She smiled and took a step forward. She set her hands on my waist as I set mine on her shoulders. Neither of us said anything at first, but remembering I didn't know her name, I asked.

"It's Anahid." Well that's not a name you hear every day.

"It means Goddess of the moon. My God-Mother named me." Huh. In a way, it kind of suited her. I liked it…her name.

"It was either Anahid or Amitola, which means rainbow." Now that; definitely fitted her. We both shared a laugh before she decided to ask mine.

"What about you?" What about me? She laughed; I guess I said that out loud.

"What's your name?" Oh. Duh.

"Spencer." She nodded.

"And I have no clue what it means." She smiled gently and giggled.

I wonder if her mouth ever hurts from smiling too much. I wouldn't ask, at least not yet.

The song continued for a few more minutes. It's like a never ending song that took forever. Ay dios mio. That's right, I knew Spanish.

Anahid and I continued to sway to the music. I hate to say it, but it was kind of nice. I turned my gaze from hers and looked around and that's when I saw her. She was looking right back at me. Her expression was soft, as if maybe she was...actually, I don't know.

_"If I find my way through the darkest of days,_

_Will I laugh about the things that kept me awake?"_

Her eyes seemed to shine as we continued to gaze at one another. They were more intoxicating then I remembered. I don't know why, but I just couldn't resist looking away. It was as if she was slowly hypnotizing me with those big brown orbs.

_Amazing._

I always had a thing for girls with big eyes. Not like golf ball big, but like big that made them look more innocent and....sweet, if you will.

_"But if my greatest fear paints itself so crystal clear,_

_Will I run away or will I hide?"_

Her eyes left mine and focused on her whore's, I mean Summ...well you know her name. She smiled at the slut but that didn't last long. Her 'girlfriend' grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into a tight, very gross, lip lock. I looked away then and focused my eyes somewhere else. I couldn't see them together anymore. I don't know why, but it was as if my heart...sank. Is that even possible?

_"And if I don't come home tonight,_

_Just know I tried my best to fight. _

_Please don't think I planned to lose to the tonight."_

The last line repeated in my head over and over.

_And curse the moon so dull and bright_

_My heavy soul can't stand the light._

_It burns me straight to the bones, my bones."_

As the song slowly came to an end, I took a step away from Anahid and smiled at her. Thanking her for the dance, I walked away. I wasn't able to get too far because she grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me into her. Before I could question her, her lips were on mine. Okay, this chick was obviously on crack. What happened to the shy girl from minutes ago? Now she's back to the very forward girl from earlier. Not really a turn on.

I pushed her off of me and without looking back walked away. Just to my luck, I just so happened to bump into the one person I was hoping not to bump into.

Ashley.

The look on her face pretty much gave away that she had seen the whole thing. I opened my mouth to say something. I wasn't sure what; I just wanted to explain the situation to her. I don't know why I felt the need to explain anything to her, but I wanted to.

But of course, before I could say anything, she just smiled and walked away. Instead of going to the booth she headed towards the exit. Not sure what came over me, I followed her. Well her and Summer. Wow, I actually said her name without wanting to throw up. Oh wait, nevermind. Just got a little sick there.

Before I could reach the couple, a body came into my view. I looked up and noticed it was Cody.

"Spencer, baby!" He was definitely drunk.

He held me in a big hug; I was barely able to breathe. When he pulled back, he smiled at me showing off his pearly whites. I looked around him and noticed that Ashley was still making her way through the crowded dance floor. She was trying to hold up a very drunken Summer, who I didn't notice was drunk until now. She wasn't being rather successful though.

"So what do ya say Spencer?" My mind being else where I didn't even notice Cody had been talking. Oops.

"What?" I turned my gaze back to his.

"I said, I know you're like super into vajayjay and all, but I was wondering..." My mind trailed off again.

I looked back over to Ashley and saw her struggling to hold up the dead weight. She was closer to the exit. I had to get to her. It was now or never.

"So will you Spencer?" Crap. Forgot he was still standing there.

"Yeah sure, whatever Cody." I honestly didn't care what he had to say, I just wanted to get to Ashley.

"Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 8!"

"Sure, okay." He began walking away as did I in the direction of the brunette.

Until it hit me. Say what?! Pick me up at 8? For what? Before I could ask Cody what he meant, he was already gone. He moved fast. I'd just have to text him later. Right now I was on a mission. A mission to reach Ashley and... And what? I don't know. Just hopefully as the time came, I'd figure it out.

Or so I hoped.

* * *

**[A/N: Bad? Terrible? Should I just throw in the white towel? Any thoughts? If all goes as plan I shall try to update by Thursday, but that all depends on whether LizaQC has time to check the next chapter or not. So it's all on her...]**

**Songs used: **

**Cue the Sun by: Daphne Loves Derby [[great band!]]**

**& of course "Knock You Down" by: Keri Hilson featuring Ne-Yo and Kanye West.**


	17. Into Your Arms

Disclaimer: No es mio.

**[[A/N: So as I said, an update. Hopefully yall enjoy it. But so yall know, I was alone on this one again. No Liza. So if it's no good, sorry...]]**

* * *

I ran pass the front doors of the club just in time to see a taxi cab pull up. There was a long line of people waiting against the wall of the club. It must suck having to wait. So glad I never have to.

"Hey sexy! Wanna come home with me tonight?!" I turned to look at a bunch of guys whistling and winking at me. Gross. Not giving them anymore of my attention I continued walking in the direction of my neighbor and her drunken mess of a 'girlfriend'.

Just as she was opening the door to the yellow cab, I came into her view. She was failing to get the slut into the vehicle. Such a dead weight.

"Hey...need some help?"

She looked rather surprised but accepted the help I was offering.

"Thanks." She smiled shyly.

Once the drunken mess was in, Ashley slid in and I did the same.

"It's okay Spence, you don't have to come too. I don't want to ruin your night." She called me Spence. Tell me why I suddenly got stupid butterflies in my tummy when she said it?

"It's fine. It was getting kind of boring anyways." Her smile has got to be the greatest smile in the world. How her smile reaches her eyes when she's really smiling. How cute it is when her nose crinkles when she smiles. How...

"Spencer?" I should really start paying more attention.

"Sorry, what?" She giggled.

"I was just thanking you for your help, even though you pretty much despise Summer." Me not like Su...that person? Neverrrr. Sarcasm, got to love it.

"What makes you think I don't like her?" Ever get that look from someone who doesn't believe you about something? Sort of like saying, 'yeah, right'? Well that's the look she's giving me right now.

"Come on Spence. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out." True.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I looked at the tall buildings as we passed them.

"The question is..." My gaze locked on hers. I couldn't help it, I looked down to her lips. They looked so soft and inviting. I began to lean in closer and I believe she began to lean in more as well. We were millimeters away as she whispered, "why?"

I closed my eyes and could practically smell the mint flavor of her breath. I was just about to place my lips on hers when someone cleared their throat.

"Uhm ma'am, we're here."

I cursed the cab driver under my breath as I opened the door and got out. Ashley slipped out as well and headed to the other side of the cab. I trailed behind her after shutting the door. She grabbed a hold of the mess of a person and placed an arm around her shoulder. Following her movements I did the same. Making a mental note to burn these clothes later. After slipping the driver the amount due, we headed toward Ashley's house.

I wasn't sure what bothered me more, the fact that I was helping Ashley with her dumb 'girlfriend' or the fact that it **bugged** me that I was helping Ashley with her dumb 'girlfriend'.

I held onto the dead weight as Ashley opened the front door to her house. Once all was unlocked we headed up the long flight of stairs.

"We can just put her in this room." Opening up the door to one of the guest rooms, I realized just how happy I was that the loser wasn't going to be sleeping in the same bed as Ashley.

As soon as we were closer to the bed I dropped the thing, I mean the whore, onto the bed. Laughing as a "thump" sound was made. Ashley looked at me with a slight frown. I guess she didn't think it was that funny, eh.

I headed towards the door afterwards and waited for Ashley out in the hallway. Shutting the door behind her she walked me back to the front door.

"Thanks again." I stepped outside.

"No big." We both stood facing one another. Her leaning against the door while I shift my weight from one foot to the other.

The silence was awkward, to say the least. I knew I should walk away, but I couldn't. There was something I just had to do.

"Well, goodnight Spence." Right as she was going to shut the door, my hand landed against the solid wood stopping its movement.

"Ashley." She opened the door wider and waited for me to continue.

I didn't really know what to say next, so instead I let my actions speak for me. I took a step closer, grabbing her face between my hands, I closed the gap between us.

Her lips were pure heaven. As the kiss went on for minutes longer, or so it seemed, a certain song that I had been listening to earlier popped into my head.

_"There was a new girl in town"_

Ironic how she really was the new girl a few months ago.

_"She had it all figured out_

_Well I'll state something rash_

_She had the most amazing smile"_

And that she did. She was the only one with such an amazing smile. It could make anyone's heart swell.

_"I bet you didn't expect that_

_She made me change my ways"_

Slowly, I think she was.

_"With eyes like sunsets, baby"_

Her eyes were just breathtaking. Only sunsets couldn't even compare to hers.

_"And legs that went on for days"_

Yeah, not going to say anything about that.

*Cough*

Deepening the kiss I ran my fingers through her brown curls. They were soft and just perfect.

_"I'm falling in love, but it's falling apart_

_I need to find my way, _

_Back to the start_

_When we were in love_

_Oh things were better than they are_

_Let me back into, into your arms, into your arms"_

"Wait." I pulled back and opened my eyes, noticing the distance that was now formed between us. The look on her face was one of sadness, confusion and possibly anger.

"You can't just do that Spencer." Yeah, she was mad. I said nothing, allowing her to continue.

"I have a girlfriend now! Do you think that one pitiful kiss would make me drop everything and everyone and go for you?!" Was shouting really necessary?

"I know, I just...." She was really angry.

"You just what Spencer?!" I honestly didn't know.

The silence grew heavier and she grew angrier.

"Exactly." She looked like she was about to cry now.

"You just now want me because you can't have me." It wasn't like that at all.

"It's not like that." She mocked laugh. That kind of hurt.

"Then tell me, how is it like?!" I opened my mouth to tell her, but nothing came out...again. I didn't know what to say. How _was_ it like?

"That's what I thought." I dropped my head, ashamed. There was so much that I wish I could tell her but I couldn't. I wasn't exactly sure why. I thought I was ready to finally let her in, to even give her a chance, but I guess maybe I wasn't.

"I'll see you later Spencer." With that she shut the door, leaving me standing outside looking at the now closed door.

Sighing I felt defeat. Not only had I lost to the night, I had lost to the one person who I never felt threatened by until now.

* * *

**[[A/N: So I realize that Spencer's basically taking one step forward and then taking two steps back, but she gets better. Promise. I just have to figure out how it'll all happen. Ha. So do yall think it may possibly be going too fast? Like with Spencer's feelings? Thoughts? Also I'll try to have an update by Sunday. Maybe. Hopefully. Or I can try sooner, but it depends. Busy weekend. Anyways, I'm done. Sorry, this A/N was too long.]]**

**Song used:**

**"Into Your Arms" by: The Maine [it randomly came on while I was writing so I thought 'what the heck' and put it into the story. I always have iTunes on shuffle, songs help me write and are what inspire the chapters.]**


	18. Wasted Days

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**[[A/N: So I know I said Sunday, but I suck and I got busy and yeah. My apologies. Uhm...this one wasn't properly checked, so if there are mistakes, sorry. Since I haven't talked to Liza, she doesn't know about this update and hasn't checked it and approved. Again, sorry if it's lame. **

**Oh & for someone who asked, I do know Spanish. =] **

**But uhm yeah, I don't know what else. I guess...on with it.]]**

* * *

I sat on the mini sofa in my room staring out into the night sky. I was listening to the music that was softly playing in the background and thinking. I couldn't get what happend just a few short hours ago out of my head.

_"Well I waited _

_For the sun to set that day _

_Before I made up my mind _

_I'd be on my way"_

I looked at the alarm clock next to my night stand and realized that in just about an hour the sun would be rising and the house would be buzzing with life. I wasn't sure if Glen was even home yet. I forgot all about him until now. Some sister I am.

_"And I looked back in time _

_To catch a glimpse of you _

_But I didn't see anyone I knew"_

Ever get that feeling that even though you're surrounded by people you still feel, I don't know, I guess, lonely? I'm not one to feel vulnerable or lonely, but for some reason, right now, I did.

_"So don't believe them _

_when they say I'm coming back_

_Don't believe them_

_When they say I'm coming back"_

My eyes landed on the window that was just across from mine. The lights were off and I knew she was asleep. Some part of me hoped that she was still awake, but I knew otherwise.

_"I need a while today _

_I need to get away _

_I'd give my eyes for a new yesterday _

_Can't stand one moment more _

_Of the these wasted_

_Wasted days"_

Pft. Talk about wasted days. I've wasted one too many. A knock on my door brought me out of my daze. Turning to look who it was, Dallas peeked her head through the door, smiling.

"Hey." She opened the door fully and stepped in, closing the door behind her.

"Sorry, did the music wake you?" I wasn't as unthoughtful as most people thought.

"Oh no. I was just coming back from the bathroom and heard the music. I figured you were still up." Smiling, I nodded then turned away from her and looked out at the moon. No matter what, it's always shining bright, always illuminating the sky.

"You okay Spennie?" She asked rather quietly. Dallas had made her way over to sit next to me without me noticing. Her and her stealthness.

I dropped my head and sighed, but picked it up quickly. I returned my gaze to the moon and I could faintly make out the craters. I needed my glasses to see things more clearly.

_"Isolated I am _

_Trapped at my front door _

_And I wait until dark _

_And I walk through this cold _

_I don't trust anyone" _

I trusted Dallas, more than anyone. My dad and Glen too, but I was more open to Dallas. I had forgotten the music was still playing. I would have gotten up to shut it off, but the walk to my iPod seemed too far. Yeah, still lazy. That will never change.

"Do you wanna talk about what ever it is that's bothering you?" My eyes remained it's gaze outside. Only no longer looking at the moon, but looking out into the front yard of _her_ house.

_"And the last thing you said _

_Was don't believe them _

_When they say I'm coming back_

_Don't believe them_

_When they say I'm coming back"_

"I kissed Ashley." I didn't have to look to know that Dallas' eyes were bulged out. I glanced at her and laughed. Yup, I knew my sister.

"But you've kissed her before. That's nothing new." Except, this time it was different.

"How so?" Yeah, I should really watch what I think out loud.

"Huh?" Maybe if I pretended not to know what she was talking about she wouldn't ask more.

_"I need a while today _

_I need to get away _

_I'd give my eyes for a new yesterday _

_Can't stand one moment more _

_Of these wasted days"_

"What makes this time different?" That didn't work.

I shrugged. Good question. What does make this time different?

_"Forgive me if my eyes should fail _

_And if I fade to black _

_I keep on walking towards horizons _

_And I try not to look back"_

"I think...maybe, I like her." She shook her head a few times as if in disbelief. Her eyes scanned my face, I'm assuming to see if I were showing any signs of fibbing. Dallas was one of the few people who could read me. The others including Glen and of course, my dad.

"You're not lying." No shit baby sis.

I moved my head back and forth, signaling 'no'. Her jaw dropped open, making a perfect "O" shape. In any other circumstance, I would have laughed, but right now I couldn't find my laugh box. Ha that reminds me of that one episode of Spongebob. When Squidward tells Spongebob about his laughbox and what not and I'm getting off topic. Sorry.

_"The people left behind me _

_All have vanished there's no trace _

_And I can't say that I've been better _

_But I'm glad to be gone from this place_

_This place"_

Dallas went over to my iPod and shut it off. The room was left in silence. Awkward, kind of, but not really.

Walking over to me, she seemed to still not quite believe me. "So you're saying, you honestly have feelings for Ashley?" I thought I just admitted to her that I did. Nodding, I let her go on.

"You, Spencer Carlin, have actual _feelings_ for someone other than yourself?" Gee, make me seem conceided. Pft.

I nodded once again and let her carry on.

"Do you know what this means Spennie?!" No, but I'm sure she's going to tell me.

"It means that you like Ashley!" Nooo, really? And here I thought she was the smart one.

"I thought we already went over that Dal."

"We did. I just had to say it out loud and make sure it was true. Since you didn't kill me, it must be true!" She was a bizzare one.

"We should go out and celebrate!" She ran into my closet and began throwing out pairs of jeans and band tees. Great, now I'm going to have to clean that up later. Eh, I'll make her do it.

Looking over at the clock, I replied, "Dal, it's five-fifty in the morning." She walked back into my room with her hands on her hips.

"True. Well first thing later in the morning, we're going out." Her craziness made me laugh, until I remembered one thing.

"Except there's nothing to celebrate." She walked up closer to me.

"Whatcha talking bout Willis?" If you've never heard that line before, then tsk tsk.

I stood up and walked over to my bed and sat down. I hadn't noticed how tired I was until then.

"Spennie?" She sauntered her way over and sat next to me on my bed.

"Let's just say, Ashley wasn't exactly thrilled to have my lips on hers." Thinking back to the kiss, even though it ended the way it did, I don't think I'd take it back.

"Oh." Yeah....*sigh*

"Well then there's only one thing you can do." There is?

"Which is?" I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not about the weirdly huge grin on her face.

"Win her over." Yup, definitely rather worried.

"And how do you propose I do that?" She got off my bed and began stretching.

"Within time big sis, it will come to you." I don't know why she doesn't just tell me.

The light shining in through my window let us know that it was truly morning. Time sure went by fast.

"I'm off to shower Spennie. When I get out I'll let you take me to breakfast. How does that sound?" Pft, she'll let me take her, uh yeah right. I was about to protest, but she cut me off.

"Great. See you in a few." Rude. She walked over to the door and began opening it. I got off my bed and started to get under the covers.

"I suggest you shower too Spennie. You don't exactly smell like roses." If I would have turned my head any faster I would have gotten whiplash.

"Out. Now." She laughed as she left my room, leaving the door open. Ugh. I got under the covers nonetheless. I was just getting comfortable and drifting off to sleep when the brat reappeared.

"Carpe diem, Spencer! Carpe diem!" She literally yelled that into my ear, so it was no surprise that the unexpected loudness made me jump about five feet into the air and end up landing on the floor. I'm so going to kill her.

She ran back out into the hallway and headed straight into the bathroom. I ran after her, but was just a second too late and ended up with the door in my face. Not only did she slam the wooden door in my face she also locked it. Rudeness!

"Seize the day my ass, Dal!" I heard her laughter through the door and couldn't help laughing too. She was definitely a brat.

* * *

**[[A/N: So was it bad? Like I said, I had to go solo on this update, again. If it's crap then I'll try to make the next one better. Promise. =] So yeah, thoughts?]]**

Song Used:

"Wasted Days" by: Highwater Rising


	19. Set Fire To The Third Bar

Disclaimer: Nothing will ever be mine.

**[[A/N: I like music. A lot. Who does too? Any suggestions? - So, no Liza, again. Don't know if this is any good. Apologies in advance.]]**

* * *

So Dallas was right about one thing. We did end up going to breakfast, which is where we currently were. No way I was going to pay though. Pft.

"Uh Spennie?" I take my eyes from the menu and place them on her.

"I just so happen to have forgotten my visa card at home." Right, she "forgot". Liar.

"Righttt." She squinted and smiled brightly, showing off those pearly whites of hers. I repeat, brat.

"So have you decided?" I looked over then menu letting my sight scan over the breakfast options.

"Not yet. I think I might just get some eggs and hash browns with sausage." Sausage was my absolute favorite! Bacon and ham could go suck it.

"That sounds good, but I meant have you decided what you're going to do with Ashley?" Oh.

"Not exactly." My eyes stayed on the laminated object in my hands.

"Well times ticking big sis, you better get to it bef..."

"Dal, can we just not talk about this right now?" I'm not sure if that came off as rude, but I just wasn't in the mood to talk about _her_ right now.

"Oh, sorry."

We sat there in silence for a few moments until our waiter came over. I was grateful that it wasn't a waitress, didn't want a repeat of the other night at the club. Speaking of which, I still have yet to tell Dallas about that. That was a first, I usually told her everything. Then again, my mind has been on other things, well more like people, lately. After taking our orders, our waiter smiled and dismissed himself.

"So..." Silence has never been fun for Dallas.

"So, how's school?" Lame topic to bring up, I know.

"Really Spencer? You want to talk about school?" We both laughed.

"Yeah, nevermind." I watched her grab her glass of lemonade and inspected it. She always did that for some reason. Every time we would go out, she'd always grab the glass and inspect it before taking a drink. What she looked for was beyond me. She used to do it at home too, but thankfully she stopped. It was weird. Heck, it still is.

"Why do you do that?" She looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Why do you always inspect your glass before drinking it?" Before she could respond, a phone began to play out a certain tune.

_"It's like an angel came by, and took me to heaven_

_(Like you took me to heaven)_

_Cuz when I stare in your eyes_

_It couldn't be better_

_(I don't want to go, no no no)"_

Considering it sounded like a little teenage lesbian by the name of Justin Bieber, I knew it wasn't my phone. Therefore leaving it to be Dallas' phone. She absolutely loved him. She raised her index finger, indicating one moment, and stepped out of the booth. She reminded me of Paula every time she did that. Poor Dallas.

Sitting alone, I grabbed for my phone and opened it in time to hear a beep go off. Still trips me out every time that happens. I opened my phone to see that it was a text message from...Cody. I wondered what he wanted.

_"Hey gorgeous. Cnt w8 4 2nite."_

Tonight? The fudge?

_'Oh shit.'_

I had completely forgotten about our little conversation last night at the club. Considering he can't wait for tonight, I'm assuming I agreed to go out with him. Great, as if this day couldn't get any better. And just like that, I knew I jinxed myself. Dallas came walking over in a sort of a hurry.

"Spennie, uh I think we should go." She stated while grabbing at my forearm.

"What? Why?" Pulling my arm rather forcefully now. Ow.

"Just trust me. Let's go." She was pulling even harder. Okay, what the freak is up with her?

"Dallas, what is your prob..." But before I could finish, I saw exactly why she wanted to leave.

It was Ashley and her girlfriend. Hand in hand walking into the same restaurant we were in. Of all the restaurants in L.A. they just HAD to come into this one. Someone must surely hate me.

I looked to Dallas who had her head down.

"I'm sorry Spennie. I tried to..." It was not her fault at all.

"Hey, it's fine." She lifted her head and half smiled at me.

"We can go if you want." She was a brat, but an awesome one.

"No. It's okay. We can stay here. No big deal." She looked over her shoulder as Ashley and her play thing walked by. Thankfully they didn't notice us.

"Are you sure?" I glanced at the couple as they gazed at one another happily. Sighing, I returned my gaze back to the youngest Carlin and nodded. I could handle this.

Dallas slid back into the other side of the booth and looked at me skeptically.

"Dallas, I'm fine." She worried too much.

"If you say so." She clasped her hands together and began twirling her thumbs. Her nails were painted lime green. One of her favorite colors, as well as mine. Except I liked lime green and black and she liked lime green and pink. Typical girl.

Breaking the silence, I asked, "So who was that who called you?"

She tried hiding the smile that was now forming across her face, but she wasn't being quite successful.

"It was Jake." Ah Jake. The youngest of the Robertson clan. The rest including Sarah (the oldest who was in her mid twenties, who lived in New York). I used to have a crush on Sarah way back when I was ten. Ha, even then I was gay. Then there's Isaac (the second oldest who was enrolled at NYU), Cody (who was the third oldest or second to last youngest (depends on how you want to look at it) and also the guy I think I have a date with tonight) and then there was Jake (cute little sixteen year old and almost the exact replica of Cody. Except he had black hair).

So let me give you the quick version of the Dallas and Jake history. Dallas liked Jake, but Jake didn't like her. Dallas got over Jake, but then Jake got into Dallas. Finally, after about a year of the whole 'I like you, I don't like you' trip they've been going through, they both seem to be on the same page. They like each other once again, but thankfully it's at the same time.

"So what did Jake have to say?" Cue huge ass grin on Dallas' face.

"He asked me out." Aw Dallas has a date.

"How cute. So when are you two going out?" Uh grin go bye bye? In case you didn't get that, Dallas' smile faded.

"Actually, we aren't." These kids were more than confusing.

"Why not? I thought you liked him." She shrugged then grabbed her lemonade and took a sip.

"Okay, you are confusing." Setting her glass down, she moved her hands in a certain motion telling me to go on.

"You like him. He likes you. You both like each other at the same time for once. What's the problem? You've been waiting for this moment for like, ever."

"You done?" Nodding, she spoke.

"It's just not the right time yet." Okay, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

"You're on crack baby sister."

"You must be too then." Soon to be dead sister say what?

"Excuse you?" Pft she rolled her eyes at me! Me, of all people! She looked over at Ashley, as if it was obvious. Still don't know what the heck she's saying I'm on crack for.

"Forget it Spencer." If it weren't for our waiter coming over with our food, she would have gotten a glass of lemonade poured on her head. Okay, not really, but still.

"Just eat Spencer." She can't tell me what to do!

"I was going to!" Shaking her head side to side, she laughed. Oh Dallas, you're lucky you're my sister.

After filling up on carbs and calories, we left the restaurant. We settled our little disgruntle while we ate. I couldn't stay mad at her, even though she threatened to walk over to Ashley's table to invite her to eat with us. She would have had to walk home. But then she made it all better when she offered to walk over to them and pour her glass of lemonade on Summer (Ew, I said her name). I love Dallas.

Now we were in my BMW off to the mall. It was sometime around one-forty-five in the afternoon. Before you think _'damn, they sure take a long time to eat',_let me clear our name. We had a late breakfast. I ended up falling asleep after banging on the bathroom door for ten minutes. So we didn't end up arriving at the restaurant until around twelve-ish.

So as I was saying, Dallas wanted to walk off some of the calories we ate. She was very health conscious. Which was good, for obvious reasons, yet bad. When with her, she never let me eat after a certain time. Craziness!

Dallas couldn't unbuckle her seatbelt fast enough as soon as we arrived at the mall.

"Spencer! Move your gay a..." She knew better than to cuss. So once she saw the look I was giving her she knew better.

"I mean, move your gay butt. Yeah, that's what I meant." Sure, sure.

"I'm sure you did." Ah that infamous grin was back on her face.

"So what stores are you wiping out today?" She gazed at me and laughed. I knew her too well.

"All of them." Her grin scared me. It was one of those grins with the twitchy eye. Freaky.

Yeah, today was going to be a long day. Somebody kill me. Please?

-------

Six hours! Yes, that's how many hours we have been at the mall. Six hours wasted of my life! As promised, Dallas wiped out quite a few stores. She just so happened to miraculously find her visa card. Bullshit. I saw her pull it out of her Marc Jacobs purse. Anyways, after six long ass hours, I am ready to go home and pass out.

I decided to let Dallas drive home. She had her permit and was more than good at driving. She just has yet to take her driver's test, due to her "forgetting" to make an appointment. If you asked me though, I think she just liked being chauffeured around. Pft.

Tossing her the keys to my baby, I warned her, "Hurt my baby and I'll hurt you." She was too excited to even argue. I never let anyone drive my car.

"I love you Spennie!" She threw all of her bags into the back seat, and then grabbed the ones I was carrying for her and threw those in as well. I was too tired to even care that she threw them in.

We walked to our sides of the car and got it.

"Check your mirrors butt face."

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Yes mother." Gasp! Biggest insult ever.

"Just drive."

"It will be my pleasure." Shifting gears, she pulled out and we headed home. Finally!

Silence filled the car as Dallas drove and I scanned the contents of my iPod. Finally choosing something worth listening to, I turned up the volume and let the music flow.

_"I find the map and draw a straight line_

_Over rivers, farms, and state lines_

_The distance from 'A' to where you'd be_

_It's only finger-lengths that I see_

_I touch the place where I'd find your face_

_My finger increases of distant dark places"_

Dallas looked over at me in question. "Snow Patrol? Someone's depressed." Pft no.

"Am not. This song just fits the mood." Which it does, kind of.

_"Their words mostly noises_

_Ghosts with just voices_

_Your words in my memory_

_Are like music to me"_

"Rightttt, not depressed at all." Stupid Dallas.

"Shut up and drive." Little sisters. Oy.

"Yes master!" And that's how I like it.

_"I'm miles from where you are,_

_I lay down on the cold ground_

_I, I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms"_

We turned onto our street before the song could even finish. As we got closer to the house, I noticed another vehicle parked. Not thinking much of it, I assumed we had a visitor.

"Home safe and sound."

I whispered, "Thank God for that too."

"I heard that Spencer." Oh well.

After unloading the car, we headed to the house. Just a few more big steps and I'd be in bed. I cannot wait. I opened the door for Dallas and walked in. I didn't make it far in considering Dallas stood still causing me to walk into her back.

"Dal, what the hell?"

"Uh Spencer, you seem to have a visitor." I looked over her shoulder and cursed myself under my breath.

_Cody._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: I like Cody. Lol. He's a real go-getter. Don't cha think? Anywho...thoughts? Suggestions? Anything?**

**Songs Used:**

**"Never Let You Go" - Justin Bieber [Sad to say, but I have Bieber Fever. I absolutely ADORE that little boy. He's tooo cute.]**

**"Set Fire To The Third Bar" - Snow Patrol [Love them!]**


	20. Kiss and Tell

Disclaimer: Mine? I wish.

**[[A/N: Still no Liza. I'm letting her enjoying her spring break. Anywho....Bieber Fever, anyone find a cure yet? && yallz comments make me laugh. I lovee it. =D Maybe I should start replying to yallz feedback. Lol.]]**

* * *

How I forgot all about Cody, I do not know. I meant to talk to him about this so called "date" earlier, but I obviously I forgot. Damn! I mentally slapped myself for not recognizing his car next to Glen's. In my defense, it wasn't his Range Rover. It was his Lexus. That's no excuse though, I should have remembered.

"Uh I guess you're not ready yet." Cody stood in the middle of the foyer, looking rather nice, with a single red rose. It was actually really sweet and if I were straight I'd be more than thrilled about all of this. However, I'm not and there's just no way that Cody and I will ever work.

Dallas looked back over to me and tried so hard not to laugh. What a brat.

"I'll leave you two love birds alone." As she descended up the stairs she burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Dallas shut up!" That didn't work out as I planned, because it only made her laugh even more.

I turn to Cody with a look of sympathy. Now, how to let him down gently.

"I'll wait for you down here while you go change Spencer. No rush." He really was too sweet.

"Look Cody..." His head dropped and I just felt so bad.

"Let me guess, you don't want to go out." I don't know why I felt so bad.

"It's not that I don't, it's just I'm not into you like that." He didn't raise his head as he stood nodding in understanding.

"It's okay, I get it. I'm sorry. I should have never asked." He looked at me then and handed me the rose. He kissed my cheek softly then headed to the door. What possessed me to do what I did next, I will never know.

"Cody, wait." I turned around and exhaled.

"Give me ten minutes." The look on his face was one of a child going into an all you can eat candy store.

"I'll wait for as long as you want." God, please don't make me regret this.

As I made my way up the stairs, I stopped and turned back to him.

"Cody?" He looked up at me and smiled.

"This doesn't change anything though. I'm still gay." With the smile never leaving his face, he saluted. What guy salutes? Besides those in the army, navy, marines, air force and all that mumbo jumbo.

"No worries Spencer. Friends it is." I began to turn away and continue my way up the flight of stairs until he called back to me.

"But can I tell everyone that I finally got you to go out on a date with me?" I laughed but shook my head.

"No."

Laughing, he said, "Doesn't hurt to try." Cody, ever the optimistic.

Dallas and Glen were both seated on my bed as I walked into my room.

"So you and Cody huh? Can't say I ever saw that coming." Cue eye roll.

"No Glen. We're just going out as friends."

"Riiiiighttt. That explains the rose." After everything we did today, you would think Dallas would be on my side. Pft.

"Okay, both of you, out. Now!" They both got off my bed and walked to the door.

"Gosh, so touchy Spencer." I wanted to kick him.

"Who knew Spennie would ever date guys. Oh gosh, is the world coming to an end?!" Okay, now I want to kick Glen and Dallas.

I threw the closes object to me at them, but missed as Glen shut the door laughing.

Finally, after much debate, I chose my outfit for my little outing. Nothing special, just a regular band tee and denim skinny jeans. The debate was over which band to "represent". I decided on a Death Cab for Cutie tee.

I made my way down to Cody who stood talking to Glen by the door. With their backs to me, neither noticed me come down. Which worked to my advantage, because I got to overhear a part of their conversation.

"Dude! How you got my sister, a lesbian, to go out with you, is a miracle! What's your secret? 'Cause I so gotta know! I so want to ask out Ashley!" And that's all I wanted to hear.

"Let's go before I change my mind Cody." They couldn't have looked more shocked to see me standing behind them.

"Spencer, I..." So don't want to hear it.

"Let's just go." Glen shook Cody's hand before I pushed him out the door. Remind me why I agreed to go out with him?

I ignored Glen as I passed him on my way out. As we reached the Lexus, Cody opened the door for me. A douche with manners, how nice.

"I want her home by midnight Cody!" Thinking it was Glen shouting, I turned to yell at him, but was surprised to see my dad standing in the drive way.

I ran over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun baby girl." I smiled and went back over to Cody. He shut the door as soon as my sandal covered feet hit the bottom of the inside of his car.

My eyes followed his body as he walked over to the driver's side. Once inside and buckled up he started the car.

"Ready for endless amounts of fun Spencer?" Ha right.

"Uh sure." He grinned happily and shifted gears from "P" to "D".

As we began pulling out of the drive way a set of head lights flashed before us. Cody slowly began driving towards the car, but once seeing the driver, he rolled down the window.

"Summer! What is up?!" Kill me!

"Hey Codester." Codester? Okay, what the fuck! Since when did these two dumb fucks become friends?

"What are you up to this fine night?"

"Oh you know, hanging out with the girlfriend. The usual." She leaned back, showing off Ashley in the passenger seat. If we didn't leave now, I was going to rip out my hair.

"What about you Cody?" He smiled widely and leaned back into his seat as well.

"Going out with Spencer." He said pointing to me. Yeah Cody, as if she didn't know who I was already. Loser.

"Ha finally!" Cody has obviously been talking to bitch face. I slapped Cody on the arm and that caused him shrink into his seat. As he did so, I noticed the look on _her_ face. It was obvious that she wasn't happy about the fact that I was going out with Cody. Hm…maybe going out with Cody wasn't such a bad idea.

"Well you two have fun." Bitch. Pft.

"Bye Spencer." Sadly it wasn't Ashley who spoke.

I didn't even bother acknowledging the whore as she spoke. She could kiss my ass. Yeah, I'm so not bitter. Cody rolled up his window as we drove away. Finally!

"You know, for someone he claims not to have feelings for Ashley, you sure could have fooled me." I turned to him and gave him the dirtiest look I could muster.

"Just drive." With that he said nothing more and drove. Silence at last.

I gathered my thoughts and came up with a conclusion. I am never going out with a guy again. Not even as friends. Darn me and my niceness. Sooner than hoped though, Cody broke the silence and turned on some music.

Ah, the little lesbian boy returns. Justin Bieber's voice began flowing through the speakers a few moments later. I looked at him with a very odd look. I never pegged him for having "Bieber Fever". I almost lost my mind when Cody began singing along to little Bieber boy.

"_Yeah__  
__J-J-J JB yeah__  
__Woaah woahh__  
__No, noo_

_Now you see girl__  
__You ain't gotta say nothing__  
__Your lips are callin' me like__  
__They wanna do something_

_I feel the chemistry__  
__With the things we make__  
__A little kisses are definitely a possibility"_

Someone, please kill me? I'm on my knees here!

"I don't want to see a tweet about JB,' Cuz only people that should know is you and me so..." Cody continued singing along.

_"Baby, I know that you cool__  
__With rockin' with me__  
__But I can't have you tellin' everybody__  
__You got me all twisted__  
__With your lips like this_

_So tell me tell me how you__  
__Gonna kiss kiss and tell__  
__Tell me how you gonna kiss kiss and tell__  
__Tell me how your gonna kiss me__  
__Then tell everybody you got me twisted__  
__With your lips girl all you gonna__  
__Kiss and tell"_

It amazes me how he knows the exact words to this song. Oh my rainbow God, I am going to go insane.

"Come on Spencer! Sing along! Be a Belieber!" My jaw couldn't have dropped open any wider. Something was seriously wrong with this…guy, if you could even call him that.

"Baby, I know that you cool with rockin' with me, but I can't have you tellin'…!" He never missed a beat. I was now starting to twitch. Oh God. I could practically see the news headline now.

'_Local teen, Spencer Carlin, goes insane. Witnesses say it was all because of some teenage girl singing about kissing and telling. Peter Piper has the rest of the story.'_

Yeah...If I don't end up insane after tonight, it will be a miracle. Cue weird twitch.

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**[[A/N: I like Justin Bieber. So so so sad. I'm sorry. Also, Cody isn't as odd as he seems. He's just...different, if you will. Lol.]]**

**Song Used:**

**"Kiss and Tell" - Justin Bieber [[ xD ]]**


	21. Hopeless Love

Disclaimer: Not mine still.

**[[A/N: I suck at updating. I really do. I apologize. I've just been so busy. No excuse, I know. Also, I think Liza's out. So I'm alone in all this. *sigh* Scary. So something real quick to say about this update....It's crap. (If there are mistakes, sorry. I tried to catch them all but some still might have escaped me.) I don't even know what I'm doing with the story. Then again, I don't think I ever knew. Ha. But whateva's.**

**Ohh & thank you _Slushhy_ for the song recommendation. :0)**

**With that I shall leave & sorry if this update is short.]]**

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"So how you'd enjoy it?" I'm just glad it's over! No, I'm not dramatic at all. Ha.

"It was....okay." Cody seemed to smile in triumph. Don't get too ahead of yourself there buddy.

"I knew you'd have fun. Maybe we can...." Whoa no!

"Cody, you're fun and all, but you know I don't swing your way. You're sort of caring an extra appendage that just doesn't do it for me." He quietly laughed.

"It's cool. Just thought I'd try again. Well anyways, I'll see you tomorrow. Glen invited me over for video games." Oh joy.

"Aren't you guys just a little too old to play video games?" He threw his hands up in offense.

"You are never too old for video games. That's like saying you're too old for PB&J." Right. 'Cause that's so the same thing. Not.

"Anyways...see you tomorrow." Stepping out of the Lexus, I was home, finally. I watched the car drive off into the night as I stood in front of my house. I sighed in relief as I was left alone at last.

_'Thank God'_

The night wasn't as bad as it was awkward. He continuously tried to hold my hand and put his arm around me. After the second time it just got annoying. Other than that, it was okay. We went to a mini golf course and played for a while, then headed to a go-kart place. Afterwards went to my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. I absolutely love Italian food. So good! Besides all that, the major downfall of it all was I just wished I wasn't thinking about someone else the entire night.

I stood still in my front yard, taking in the fresh air. Well as fresh as it would get considering it was L.A. I was probably taking in pollution more than freshness. As I kept in place a certain thought occurred to me. I have not smoked a cigarette in way too long. Which led me to where I was now heading, my room. I was digging through my dresser looking for my pack of cigarettes.

A-Ha!

I found them. Grabbing the lighter closes to me, I stuffed the objects into my pocket and headed back outside. Passing Dallas' room, I heard soft music playing.

_"Why don't you care at all?_

_I'm dying for a place in your heart._

_Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again_

_I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you_

_But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow_

_Please be home tonight_

_I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right"_

Gosh Dallas was depressing, but...I like. I'll have to take this song from her tomorrow. Figuring she was still awake though, I opened her door, however what I saw was a very much asleep Dallas already tucked into bed. It was kind of cute, in a loser kind of way. I walked over to her stereo and shut off the music. Making my way over to her sleeping form, I noticed just how sweet and innocent she looked. Pft, looks were so deceiving. Ha joking. I loved my baby sister more than anything. She meant the world to me.

I bent down and gently brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen to her face. Kissing her softly on the forehead I whispered "Goodnight" and turned off her light. Before shutting the door to her room, I heard a quiet whisper. "I love you Spennie." Smiling, I replied. "Love you too brat." I closed it completely afterwards.

Once I was outside, I stood leaning against the side of the house. I removed the objects from my pockets and lit the offending white stick. Shutting my eyes, I inhaled, it felt so good. It really has been too long since I've smoked. I let the silence engulf me as I enjoyed the peacefulness of it.

"You really should quit you know." So much for quiet.

Opening my eyes, I saw Ashley standing in front of me. She had her arms wrapped around herself, attempting to block out the cold.

"So they say." I inhaled once again, only this time, taking in a longer drag. She watched as I exhaled and I watched as her eyes shone in the moonlight. Gorgeous as ever.

I wasn't sure what to make of this interaction. We haven't exactly talked since that night, when I kissed her.

"So what brings you out on such a lovely night?" She seemed to snap out of her daze.

"I needed some fresh air." I laughed. She was in the wrong spot to be getting that fresh air.

Finishing my cigarette faster than I had hoped, I contemplated smoking another one.

"One's enough, don't you think?" Cue valley girl voice, as if!

I walked over to the bench we had in our yard and sat down. Surprised to see that she had followed, I scooted over and left her some room. We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before she spoke up.

"So how was your date with Cody?" I almost choked on my spit. Gross, I know.

"Not a date." I looked to see her reaction and saw...nothing. *Sigh*

"Oh." I took out my cell and noticed that it was 2 a.m. Damn, had I really been out for that long? Apparently so. Yes, I did just answer my own question.

"Well do you like him?" Do you care?

"Me no do dick." Now it was her turn to practically choke on her spit. Funny sight if you ask me.

"So why are you out here really?" Her head turned to me and our eyes locked.

"I told you. Fresh air." Riiight.

"You needed fresh air at two in the morning?" She turned her head in the opposite direction now and sighed.

"Yes." Now I know that was a bullshit answer.

"Okay." We remained seated there for a while longer. Looking at my phone it was nearing 2:45 a.m. already. Where does the time go? Seriously. Standing up and stretching, I looked to her and noticed the sad look on her face.

"Uh, are you okay?" She half smiled and nodded. Not wanting to hassle her, I didn't ask more. I should probably head inside now. The cold was starting to get to me. I'm weak, whatever.

"Well I think I'm...."

"Why did you kiss me?" That sure came out of nowhere.

"Uh…because I wanted to?"

"But why then? Why not sooner? I wanted you so bad Spencer. I would have waited." This was a conversation I did not want to have.

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know."

"Do you know anything?" She threw up her hands in frustration. Yeah, pretty sure she was frustrated now. Ha.

"I know that....that...." Why couldn't I just say it?

"That what, Spencer?" Now or never, right?

"That...well, I like you." It came out as more of a whisper, but given the look on her face I'm sure she still heard. Maybe I should have gone with never.

"I have a girlfriend now." Yeah hard to miss the slut hanging from your every move. Speaking of skanks, where was she now? Then again, I don't care.

"And I'm over you." Okay?

"At least, I'm supposed to be." Now she really had my attention.

She stood up and came face to face with me. Her eyes looked down to my lips then back up into my eyes. Oh how I wanted to kiss her more than ever. However, I wouldn't. I didn't want a repeat of last time, which went bad. I closed my eyes and tried to kill the temptation.

"Spence..." Not opening my eyes, I answered, "Yeah?" When I heard no response, it was then that I opened my eyes. Ashley had gotten a lot closer and if I made just one move, my lips would be on hers. Our gazes kept still on one another. Even if I wanted to look away, I don't think I would be able to.

"Kiss me." I'm not sure if I heard right.

"Huh?" Yeah, that didn't make me sound stupid at all. Ha.

Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, she repeated, "Kiss me."

And so I did as I was told.

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**[[A/N: Okay so what do yall want to see happen? 'Cause I don't know what I should do next. I have an idea, sort of, but I still want all of your thoughts. So ideas?]]**

**Song Used: **

**Hopeless Love by: Daphne Loves Derby**


	22. If You Leave

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**[[A/N: I suck at updating, I know. Forgive me?]]**

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3:26 a.m.

How we made it up to my room, I didn't know. What I did know though, was that my lips had yet to leave hers the entire time. We were currently on my bed, her beneath me, with me on top, obviously. Her hands were tangled in my hair while my lips descended from her soft ones to her neck. As I continued to suck on her pulse point, a soft moan escaped from her mouth. If I wasn't turned on before, I sure as hell was now. Continuing my movements, I bit down on the place where I had been sucking. I knew it would leave a mark, but I honestly didn't care. However, I still pulled away and acknowledged the already bruised mark. My eyes roamed up and examined all of her features. Is there another greater word for gorgeous? Well whatever it was, Ashley was it. I don't know how long I had spaced out just looking at her for, but when I came to, Ashley's eyes were looking into mine. Time didn't even matter at this point. All that mattered was just her.

"Hi." I smiled down shyly at her. What? Like you've never been shy. Pft.

"Hi." Her smile reached her eyes. You could just tell that it was a real genuine smile. The smile that gave me those retarded butterflies in my tummy.

I rolled off and laid next to her. The silence wasn't one of awkwardness, but one of unnerve. I didn't know what to say. Before I could let my thoughts get the best of me, a hand grabbed a hold of mine and intertwined our fingers. I officially loved her hands. They were just so soft and perfect, just like her. Everything about her was perfect.

"So..." I was never one for silences.

"So..." I brought her hand up to my lips and gently kissed her palm. She made me feel things that no one else ever has.

"What now?" Good question. She turned to lie on her side and I did the same.

"I don't know." I really do say that a lot. I kept my eyes locked on hers, absorbing all that was her.

"You're still with Summer." Her eyes dropped down and she sighed.

"I know." She copied my earlier movements but kissed the top of my hand instead of my palm.

"Ashley." Dropping my hand, she reached for my face and ran her index finger down my cheek slowly. At this point, I had completely forgotten whatever it was I was going to say. I didn't even care.

I leaned forward and captured her lips between mine. Her left hand landed on the back of my neck, pulling me closer; while she ran her fingers from her right hand through my hair. We stayed in this position for a while until her left hand moved down to my shoulder and pushed me back. I was on my back now with her straddling my waist. Neither of us made any movements, instead we stood in place just watching each other. I wondered what ran through that gorgeous head of hers. What was lucky enough to be on her mind?

Not able to contain myself anymore, I reached up for her and brought her lips down to mine. If I were to die right here, right now, I'd be okay with it. Her lips left mine a moment later, but only to return a few seconds later on my neck. I felt her biting and sucking lightly on my pulse point. I bruised easily so I knew I'd have a hickey soon enough. I closed my eyes as she continued her actions. When I felt her move to another spot I knew she was pleased with the mark already made.

She pulled back completely and I turned to look at her. Her hands reached down to the hem of her shirt, but before she could go any further, I stopped her.

"Ashley, wait." She looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?" I was so going to regret this.

"I think we should stop."

"Why?"

"Now isn't the best time." She nodded and started climbing off of me.

"You're right. Sorry. I should go." She couldn't have gotten off of me any faster.

I stopped her from leaving by pushing the door shut. Standing before her, she looked vulnerable and seemed as if she were about to cry.

"Ash." Her gaze remained on the ground, so I lifted her chin with my index finger.

"Hey..." Her eyes looked into mine. My heart ached once I saw the look in her eyes. I leaned forward and kissed her. It lasted only for a few seconds, but I didn't complain.

Leaning my forehead against hers, I whispered, "Stay with me tonight." Her eyes remained shut and no words were said, but she nodded and accepted my offer.

I pulled back and reached for her hand. We walked towards my dresser hand in hand. I pulled out two pairs of shorts and tank tops. Giving her a pair of each clothing item, she began undressing before me. I stood memorized in awe. Absolutely gorgeous.

When she removed the shirt she was wearing, I immediately regretted not going further with her earlier. If I kept watching her undress, I'd become weak and just take her right then and there. So instead I walked into my bathroom and changed in there.

When I came back out three minutes later, she was standing next to my stereo scanning through the contents of my iPod. The soft melody of Nada Surf's "If You Leave" began playing through the speakers a moment later.

_"If you leave, don't leave now_

_Please don't take my heart away"_

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her neck. Placing her hands on my waist, she pulled me in closer.

_"Promise me, just one more night_

_Then we'll go our separate ways"_

We were impossibly close. We couldn't get any closer, even if we wanted to.

_"We always had time on our sides_

_Now it's fading fast"_

We stared into one another's eyes for quite some time until her eyes dropped down to my lips. I was glad to know I wasn't the only one who wanted another kiss.

_"Every second, every moment_

_We've got to make it last"_

Shutting her eyes, she began leaning in closer. When she was close enough and I was able to feel her breath, I shut my eyes and leaned in the rest of the way.

_"I touch you once _

_I touch you twice_

_I won't let go at any price"_

I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers, my eyes remaining shut the entire time.

_"I need you now_

_Like I needed you then_

_You always said we'd still be friends someday"_

Her hands left my waist and slid into my own. I took a step back and guided her over to the bed. Pulling off the covers, I waited for her to lie down. Once she was, I pulled the covers over her and walked to the other side. Getting in, I pulled the covers over my own body. I wasn't sure of where to place my arms, so I left them at my sides.

_"Seven years went under the bridge_

_Like time was standing still"_

"Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

Will you hold me?"

I moved onto my side and placed my right arm over her. Snuggling closer to her, I heard her let out a sigh.

"Thank you." Smiling to myself, I sighed as well.

"Goodnight Ashley." She intertwined our fingers under the covers.

"Goodnight Spencer."

_"Heaven knows what happens now_

_You've got to say you will"_

I will. In a heartbeat.

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**A/N: So any other song recommendations? I don't want to bore anyone with the songs I use. So if you have any, do tell. Please? Hm...and also, comments? Suggestions? Complaints?**

**Song Used:**

**"If You Leave" - Nada Surf**


	23. Like We Used To

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**[[A/N: So I know I suck. Life has just been too hectic and I really apologize. But thankfully, life is starting to slow down and I'm done with finals and officially out for the summer. So now I have more time to write and update. So please forgive me. **

**I had this chapter was written out weeks ago, but I reread it and thought it was shit. So I rewrote it and I still think it is. But it's a little less crappy, I think. I don't know. You guys will be the judge. Also, it's not really edited, so if there are any mistakes, sorry. Anyways...I'm shutting up and letting you get on with it.]]**

_

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"I can feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me"_

Her even breath hit my neck as we layed in bed. She was sound asleep while I layed awake. Her arm was draped around my waist. It wasn't uncomfortable, just not something I was used to. No girl has ever slept over before. Not only because I hate the idea of another girl coming into my personal space, but also because it's a house rule. One that Paula set in when she found Glen dry humping a girl in his bedroom. Not exactly an image someone wants to imagine. My apologies.

_"Sharing pillows and cold feet."_

With Ashley though, it was different. Everything was completely different. I didn't really mind her being here at all. Didn't mind her being in my personal space or well, sanctuary. Seeing all that was me. Sure she had been in my room before, but not enough to really see it all. If that even makes sense. But, I wanted her to see everything. Everything that made me, me. But I couldn't, at least not yet. We still had to figure out exactly what this all meant. She's still was with Summer and I don't exactly know what I want from her just yet. Did I want to be with her? Maybe. I wasn't sure. Right now, however, all I knew was that here, right now, laying with her, was more than perfect.

_"She can feel my heart, fell asleep to its beat."_

My eyes began drifting shut as the sun began to slowly rise. I figured I wouldn't get much sleep, but a few short minutes sleeping with Ashley would be more than enough. And so, I shifted to my side, coming face to face with the gorgeous brunette. She was still asleep and looked entirely peaceful. I tucked a strand of her curly hair behind her ear. She was absolutely stunning. With her being the last thing I saw, I shut my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up to a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Spennie, mom wants to know if..." I opened my eyes to see Dallas with her jaw dropped open.

"Close your mouth brat, you might catch a fly." Her shocked face turned to one of a smirk.

"Yo Dal, mom's bitching. Did you ask Spencer if..." Cue Glen. Shocked face? Check. Smirk arising...right...about...now? Check.

"Before you air heads start jumping to conclusions, let me just say, it's not what it looks like." Yeah, like they'll believe that. Eh, it was worth a shot.

"Kids, what's the hold up? Did you ask Spencer if..." And now welcome my dad. Okay what is up with all these unwelcomed visitors? They know better than to wake me before noon. I look over to my clock and notice that it is twelve-ten. Well, they still know not to bug me.

"Spencer, out of bed and dressed, now." The two bafoons and head chief Carlin exit, closing the door, somewhat loudly, behind them. Well loudly enough to wake up Ashley. Damn.

She untangled her arms from around me and sat up. Stretching, she said, "Morning." I replied back with the same word. "Morning."

We sat there in silence for a few moments, avoiding one another's gaze. I looked every where except in her general direction. My sight landed outside the window, landed on the car that was now parking in front of her house. A car that, if I remembered correctly, belonged to Summer.

"So..." I shifted my eyes to meet hers. She was tracing the stitches of the comforter. "About last night..." Her eyes met mine then.

"Spencer Carlin, you have five minutes to get down here!" I guess I won't get to hear what else she had to say.

She began shuffling out of bed as I stood in place watching her. She walked over to my dresser, where her clothes from the previous night were, then turned to me expectantly. I said nothing, waiting for her to say what she wanted to say.

"Spencer?"

"Ashley." She smiled while I got out of bed. Stretching, I walked over to her. I stood in front of her, but not too close.

Her eyes locked on mine as she took a step closer to me. With eyes as captivating as hers, it was hard to believe that I could ever turn away from her. When she was about a breath away, then did her eyes leave mine. They traveled down to my lips then back up. I knew what she wanted, but I wasn't going to be the one to make the move. She must have read my mind because she brought up her left hand and placed it on my cheek. Gently bringing me closer to her, our lips were about to touch. But of course, fate wasn't on my side today, considering not even a second later, my door was opened.

"Spencer, dad really...oh shit. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything." I sighed in frustration as we turned our attention to the person now standing in the door way.

"Way to ruin the moment butt face." You can't blame me. If you were just about to enjoy a kiss from Ashley, you'd be a little ticked off too.

"Sorry Ashley." Ashley took a step back, blushing.

"It's okay Dallas." She smiled rather awkwardly.

"Well I'll let you two get back to what you guys were doing. Yeah, okay bye."

Once the door was shut, I huffed, which caused Ashley to laugh. I gave her a questioning look and she just smiled. "So where were we?" I perked up and answered, "I think you were about to kiss me." She smiled her nose crinkling smile and began leaning in. This time, our lips did touch, but was once again interrupted. Okay, what the fudge. Seriously?

"Oh and before I forget, dad said to tell you that if you don't get downstairs in three minutes you're grounded. Okay bye." She was gone as soon as she had came in.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in trouble." Ashley took a step back and began gathering her things.

"You didn't."

"Then why will you be grounded?"

"Some stupid reason." She nodded but asked no more.

"Well I think I should be getting home." I wanted her to stay. Wanted to ask her to, but I didn't. So instead, I watched as she walked into my bathroom and shut the door. She emerged a few short minutes later. She handed me back my clothes and thanked me.

"I'll, uhm, walk you out." She stepped aside and let me take the lead.

As we headed down the stairs, I saw Glen "rocking out" to his guitar hero. Dallas was nowhere to be found and my 'rents were in the kitchen. Once we reached the door, I opened it for her. She stepped outside and turned to look at me.

"Thanks for letting me stay over."

"Well considering I asked you to stay, I think I should be thanking you for staying." She smile and nodded.

"Well, I'll see you later?" I nodded as she leaned in and kissed my cheek. She waved as she began walking away. I stepped outside and waited until she was inside her house. But as my eyes adjusted to the sun, I saw Summer walking out of Ashley's house just as Ashley was about to walk in. Whatever was being said, it didn't seem to be good. I wasn't sure whether to feel guilty about everything or not. Thinking back though, I wouldn't change any of it. As soon as I walked back into the house and shut the door, my dad called out for me.

"Spencer! Kitchen, now!"

Despite how I figured I'd be grounded, for about two weeks probably, it was all worth it.

"Spencer, we are not going call you again."

Well it was time to face my doom.

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**A/N: So...thoughts? Shall I just give up completely on the story now? Also, I changed my screen name, if yall haven't noticed. Ha. If it's any inconvenience, I apologize.**

**Song Used:**

**"Like We Used To" by: A Rocket to the Moon [They're sexy. Lol.]**


	24. Half of My Heart

**Disclaimer: All Tom Lynch.**

**[[A/N: Hm...I don't know what to say. Thank you for the reviews. I greatly appreciate them & thank you for sticking around so long. :) Also, this one isn't edited either so if there are any mistakes I do deeply apologize and I'm sorry it's short. I just wanted to get something out. I didn't want to fall into old habits and not update for weeks. Anyways...that's it, I think.]****]**

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So I was right. Two weeks of house arrest, well of being grounded. Both were just as dreadful. Especially in the Carlin household. Actually, I think house arrest was better. No one had to deal with Paula Carlin. Why must parents be so lame? One girl spends the night, nothing happens, and they go all anal. Whatever. It doesn't matter anyways, I'm still going to do what I want. Was that bad? Oh well, like I care.

I remained seated on one of the tables in the quad. Cigarette between my lips and iPod in hand with earphones in place. I scrolled down and clicked on 'shuffle songs'. I always had music on shuffle. I hated choosing which song to listen to first. I'd be happy with whatever came up anyways, if it was on my iPod, it was obviously something I liked.

_"See I never thought that I could walk through fire._

_I never thought that I could take the burn._

_I never had the strength to take it higher,_

_Until I reached the point of no return."_

Okay, pause. What the fuck? I grabbed my iPod and read the screen. "Never Say Never" - Justin Bieber. How in the world did this little munchkin get on my iPod? Pondering it over, there was only one possibility. Dallas. Oh I was definitely going to smack a child. Clicking 'next', I resumed my peaceful state of mind.

_"I was born in the arms of imaginary friends_

_Free to roam made a home out of everywhere I've been_

_Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing_

_Trying my best to understand, all that your love can bring"_

John Mayer, much better. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. Oh how I've missed these chemical sticks. I layed back on the table top and looked up at the sky. Clouds began to roam, shielding the sun from shinning. Soon I would not be needing my Raybans. I shut my sunglass covered eyes and took another puff from the white stick.

_"Oh half of my hearts got a grip on the situation_

_Half of my heart takes time_

_Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that"_

My right earphone was pulled out of my ear before John could even finish the chorus. I sat up faster then...then...something fast. Turning to look at the culprit, I was ready to chew off their ass.

"I see you're still with the cancer sticks." My angered face turned to one of disbelief, but I quickly recovered.

"And I see you're still a pain in the ass."

Smirking, I got off the table and hugged my old best friend Cyndal. Here's the short less boring version of our history. Known each other since birth, grew up next door to each other, the house that Ashley now lives in. Dated for about two years, fell in love, but ended once she moved. And that is basically the gist of it. There's more to it, but I'm just too lazy to state it all.

"You look good." She eyed me up and down and smiled. I knew that look all too well. It only meant one thing.

"Well sad I can't say the same for you. I see you've put on a few pounds." Of course that was a lie. Truthfully, she looks even better than she did before.

"Still a bitch." Looking her up and down, she dressed with as little as possible. That much hasn't changed.

"Still a slut." She grabbed me into another hug and held me tighter. I never knew how much I missed her until now.

"Gosh I've missed you Spen. No one in New York got me like you did." Letting me go, she stepped back and took a sip of her Starbucks cup. If I still knew her, then what she was drinking would be a green tea frapp, no whipped cream.

"Well what can I say, I'm one of a kind." I smiled smuggly, waiting for the smartass remark that was soon to come.

"You really are." Well she sure has lost her touch. Looking into her clear green eyes, an old familiar feeling rushed through me. Breaking our eye contact, I looked anywhere except at her.

"So anyways..." Laughing she took the cigarette from my hand and threw it on the floor and stomped on it. Interesting how she's the one who got me into smoking yet completely hated it when I wouldn't stop.

"Hand them over." I gazed at her in confusion.

"Don't act dumb, it doesn't suit you. Cigarettes in my hand, now." Gosh she was impossible. Sighing out loud, I removed the pack of cigarettes from my ass pocket and handed them over to her.

"Good girl." I didn't care who she was, she's no one to make me seem like a dog.

"Bitch. You..."

"Shut it Spen. You aren't getting them back." She walked over to the trash can and threw in my brand new pack. Whatever, I would just end up buying a new pack after school anyway.

"You're better than that love." Love. Yeah, I have no comment on that.

"So why are you here anyways?" She sat on the table much like I had earlier.

"Oh you know, just thought I'd come and visit the old gang here at king High." Bullshit. She hated this hell hole as much as I did.

"I was you're only friend."

"Lies Spen, all lies. If I remember correctly, I was you're only friend."

"You wish greenie." That was one of the many nicknames I had given her. I didn't mean to let it slip though.

"Cute."

"What is?"

"You calling me that. I surely would have thought that I'd never hear that again, bluie." And that was one of the ones she gave me. When we were together, she was everything to me. I didn't care what she called me, as long as it was meant with love, I was fine with it. Once she was gone, well, like Dallas says, _"Never make someone you're everything, because once they're gone, you'll have nothing."_ Gosh I was so pathetic. With the look in her eyes, one much like the one she was giving me now, I used to be puddy in her hands. I broke our eye contact and cleared my throat.

"Moving on, why are you really here?"

"Well, long story short, we're moving back. Daddy didn't like the weather much in New York. Said he missed the sunshine of California. But in all honesty, mom just wanted to come home. You know how my dad is, loves to please her. So in the end, here we are."

She was coming back, she is back. My best friend was back and as sappy and lame as it may sound, my first love was back.

"Who knows, maybe we can start back up where we left off." With that, I was left silent. I tried gathering my thoughts, but before I could think any further, I noticed Cyndal point to someone behind me.

"Seems like someone wants your attention Spencer." I turned to look behind me and noticed the girl who had occupied my thoughts for the past few weeks.

Ashley.

I looked back and forth between her and Cyndal. Cyndal giving me a confused look, much like the one Ashley was giving me now too.

And just like that, they both asked, "Who's she?"

Well things were definitely about to get interesting.

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**[[A/N: So why not add a little drama to the plot. Don't hate me. I'll make it better...soon. Well, eventually. So yeah, thoughts?]]**

**Songs Used:**

**"Never Say Never" - Justin Bieber featuring Jaden Smith**

**"Half of My Heart" - John Mayer featuring Taylor Swift**


	25. The Sky Might Fall

**Disclaimer: Same. All Tom's.**

**[[A/N: I suck. So I'm going to leave it at that. Ha. Sorry. Not really edited, so I completely apologize for all the errors.]]**

* * *

Talk about awkward silences. Thankfully, the bell rang. Cyndal stood next to me, arms crossed and eyeing Ashley. Ashley stood in front of me, looking perplexed and avoiding Cyndal's eyes.

"I'm going to class." My attempt to walk away failed when Cyndal grabbed my attention.

"Since when do you care about class Spencer?" Good point.

"Spence, can I just have a minute of your time please?" I looked at Ashley and just couldn't refuse.

"I'll walk you to class." Ignoring Cyndal's annoyed look, I focused on Ashley. We began walking until Cyndal took hold of my arm and stopped me.

"I'll see you after school Spencer." And before I knew it, her lips were on mine. Okay, it's not really something I didn't expect, but I also wasn't expecting it either. She used to always do that, even before we got together. It was just something I got used to.

When she pulled back, she winked at Ashley and walked away. As I turned my head to look at Ashley, all I saw was her form heading towards the lockers. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. This was such pointless and unnecessary drama that I didn't need. Despite that, I couldn't just let Ashley walk away hurt. Or could I? I contemplated it for a moment, but decided against it. I hurried to the lockers where I last saw her. As I turned to go down the hall, I stopped in place and watch the scene in front of me unfold.

Summer and Ashley were engaged in a rather steamy liplock. I wasn't sure of the feelings that were running through me. Sort of a hurting pain in my chest. A feeling that seemed to run through me a lot whenever Ashley was concerned. However, I ignored the feeling as I clenched my hands into fists. Unable to no longer watch, I turned back and walked away.

When I reached the parking lot, I realized that I had gotten dropped off at school. One of the 'perks' of being grounded, I lost my car. Ugh. There was no way I was going to walk. So, I had no other option other than stay in school. But, just because I had to stay in school didn't mean I actually had to go to class. Thinking about it though, I honestly had no where else to go. Even if I wanted to go to the library, I had no idea where it was. I really need to learn where these places are.

As I took a step back onto the school quad, a car honked behind me. I turned to see Cyndal in her car waiting expectantly.

"Get in." I gave her a baffled look and crossed my arms.

"It's either that or stay here. I know you Spencer and I know that this is the last place you want to be." She was right about that at least. Sighing, I walked over to her Mercedes Benz and got in.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you that I haven't already done." She winked at me as she put the car in drive and sped off. With her driving, I was either going to die or get injured rather badly. Thinking back, maybe I should have stayed in school.

"Where are we going?" I asked as she turned onto the highway.

"I don't know." Well that was a smart idea.

"Well that's great." She looked at me and laughed.

"I really have missed you." I turned and looked out the window, sadly to hide the small smile that was now rising.

"You know you missed me too. You can't deny it." Pft. Righhttt.

I didn't say anything and just let her think whatever she wanted to. She was going to anyways.

"So are you going to tell me who that girl was or am I going to have to figure it out myself?" I pretended that I didn't hear her question and continued staring out the window.

"Okay then. Guess I'm going to have to find out for myself." Before I knew it, she was speeding to the side and cutting off people to exit the freeway.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" She laughed like the loser that she was and parked as we arrived at some house.

"Chill Spencer, it wasn't that bad." Ha now I remember why I always drove when we went out.

"Who's house is this?" Never answering my question, she walked to the front door and walked right in. Before I could get a word out, a voice was heard from somewhere inside the house. The house was huge, so it could have came from anywhere. If I had to say, this house was probably as big as mine, maybe even a little bigger.

"Cyndal, is that you? I'm in the kitchen." Recognizing the voice immediately, I smiled as the memories rushed in. Cyndal, now standing in front of me said, "Welcome to the new Portland house." If you didn't already figure it out by now, Cyndal's last name is Portland.

After mazing (Yes, mazing. It was like a maze finding out way there) our way through the huge first floor, we made our way into the kitchen. Not even a minute later, I was being pulled into a very tight embrace.

"Oh my dear! Spencer! It's been so long. My how you have grown up!" Cyndal's mom was always a hugger.

Pulling out of the hug, I stepped back and smiled. "It's nice to you Mrs. Portland." Cyndal had a true smile as I saw her out of the corner of my eye. Her mom loved me and therefore, when we were together, made us love her. She always made it easy for us to be together as a couple. Unlike my mother who did like Cyndal, just wasn't fond of our relationship. But of course, I'm sure you guessed that by now.

"I've told you already, it's Ellie." I smiled and nodded. I find it weird calling an adult by their first name. Paula, was the only exception, but that was because, to me, she never acted like an adult. Just a bitch.

"You sure look gorgeous as ever dear. Tell me, how are your parents? Your mom still have that stick up her ass?" Now you can see why I loved her so much. She was just so blunt. I loved it.

"My dad's fine and Paula, well..you know her." She nodded sadly and placed her hand on my shoulder in comfort. I didn't need it though. I was fine.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I know how it feels to live with a bitch." Faking a cough, she looked at Cyndal. I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Oh how I missed her.

"Anyways mom..." Cyndal began but was cut off.

"Aw hun, don't be so uptight." Yes, her mom was definitely awesome.

"We're going up to my room." Her mom smiled and then looked at me and winked. Uh...no.

"Aw, you two starting back up right where you guys left off. That's so nice." No no no.

"Uh no, we aren't." Mrs. Portland looked from me then to Cyndal.

"I see. Cyndal you owe me fifty dollars." She stated before walking back to where she was cutting up some type of food. I couldn't tell you what exactly because I was too busy giving Cyndal the death glare. As if I'd be that easy.

"We will be going up now." Cyndal grabbed my wrist and pulled me to her. She led the way up the long flight of stairs. I was ready to pass out when we got to her room, which was the last door at the end of the long ass hallway. Ugh.

"Gosh Spencer, you look like you're about to pass out." Could you blame me? It was so far away.

"It's not my fault that you're room is a mission away." Laughing she stepped aside and let me walk into her room first. As I walked in I was surprised to see everything almost exactly the same. It was almost as if she had never left and wasn't living in a new house. Almost as if we were back to the way things were.

"If I knew you were so outta shape we could have taken the elevator." Stuck in the past, I almost missed what she said.

"Elevator? Why didn't we take it then?" She shrugged her shoulders and sat on her bed. I continued looking around her room. Everything was in place, exactly the same way she had it before.

"You okay Spencer?" I nodded and walked to the otherside of the room. Peering out the rather large window, I looked below and saw Emily, Cyndal's sixteen year old sister swimming in the pool. Her dad was at the barbecue grilling away. I had to admit that I missed them as well.

"Spencer." I turned and came face to face with Cyndal. She looked into my eyes then down to my lips. I knew what was going to happen next. A part of me wanted her to kiss me, but the other part, well let's just say it was stuck at king high along with another gorgeous brunette.

Feeling her breath on mine, I shut my eyes, but as soon as I did, Ashley's smiling face popped into view. I stopped Cyndal just as I felt her lips barely touch mine.

"I can't." Cyndal stepped back and nodded.

"I think I should go now." She avoided my gaze and began walking out.

"Okay." I didn't know what to think. I just followed behind her and kept quiet.

About ten minutes after saying my goodbyes to Mr. and Mrs. Portland and Emily, we arrived back at King High. Forgetting today was a random early dismissal, we got there just in time to hear the final bell ring.

"Thanks." I didn't know what else to say except that.

"No problem." I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of her vehicle.

"Just so you know Spencer, I never stopped thinking about you." Not letting me respond, she drove off. Which I was glad about, because I honestly had no clue what to say.

As if this day couldn't get any better, when I turned around I accidently bumped into someone. Their books dropping to the ground on impact. I bent down and started gathering their dropped items.

"Sorry. I should..." I began, but as I looked up to see who it was, I never finished.

It just had to be _Ashley_ that I bumped into.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't mention any song in this. But one was playing as I wrote. Also, I'm so lost when it comes to this story. I get sparks of inspiration, but that's rare. So if it's all shit, I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'm just ready to finish this. I rather read than write. Ha. But to all those still reading, I promise I will finish it. I can't leave it undone. That's like eating ice cream but not finishing it. It's a bad bad thing. All ice cream needs to be finished. Or in this case, all stories should be finished. Right? Okay anyways, let me know all your thoughts. Good and bad.**

**"The Sky Might Fall" by: Kid Cudi [I've been playing his songs non-stop. Go figure.]**


	26. Airplanes

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**[[A/N: I'm back from my long absence. I really suck, I know. Just, I got sick, then went out of town, then family from Texas came and all this stuff. I don't really have a valid excuse, but I really am sorry. Anyways...this isn't really edited. I tried to make it long, just in hopes of forgiveness. Don't know if it worked though. :[ Sorry...]]**

* * *

I could feel her eyes on me as I began to stand up. Handing her back her books, I cleared my throat and began rubbing the back of my neck. A nervous habit.

"Hey Spence." The side of her mouth lifting in an attempt of a smile.

"Ashley." I didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it did. I guess I must still be upset about the previous encounter between her and Summer.

Neither of us said anything, just shifted our weight from one foot to another. Her eyes wondered around the quad and gazed at the students that passed us. No, this silence wasn't awkward at all. I searched my pockets for my cigarette pack, but came up empty. Barely remembering that Cyndal had taken the pack from me earlier and tossed it. Speaking of Cyndal, I still had no clue what to do about her. For now, I wouldn't think about it.

"Spencer? Did you hear me?" Obviously not.

"Hm...sorry. What were you saying?" Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out and typed in my four digit password.

"I was just saying that I think we should talk." I had a text from non other than Cyndal. Reading it quickly, all it said was that she'd be going over to my house soon.

"Spencer?" Shaking my head slightly, I returned my gaze back to Ashley.

"Listen Ashley, we have nothing to talk about." She looked somewhat disappointed, but right now I didn't care. The image of her kissing Summer was still going through my mind.

"But I..." I shook my head and began walking away.

"I got to go."

"Wait...Spencer!" Rolling my eyes, I continued walking. What she wanted to say, I didn't want to hear.

"I broke up with Summer!" Now that stopped me dead in my tracks. I sighed deeply and turned around slowly. Ashley hurried over to where I was and stood before me.

"You broke up with her?" I said above a whisper.

"Yes." She began to smile, but I was sure to wipe it off.

"So that's why you two were sucking face in the hall this morning?" She looked confused and seemed to ponder it over.

"What are you talking...wait, no. You have the wrong idea. It's not what it looks like."

"Right. Like I've never heard that one before." I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb.

"No, seriously Spencer." She reached to grab my arm, but I shrugged her off.

"Don't. Look, it's fine. Whatever. I don't care. You can do whatever you want, as can I."

"Obviously, you seem to be doing it anyways." Oh no no, she shouldn't be the mad one.

"Oh whatever Ashley. We're just friends. That's all we'll be anyways." She nodded her head and laughed sarcastically.

"Well, thanks for letting me know that I've obviously been wasting my time." Ouch. Can't say I expected that.

"Well I'm sorry that you've been wasting your time too." I clenched my jaw and tried not to let the hurt take over me.

She looked down at her feet, then back up at me. Straightening up herself, she walked away. I stood still as she walked passed me. I wanted nothing else than to stop her and just kiss her. My pride got the best of me though so I turned and watched her walk away. Once she was out of sight, I let out the breath I had been holding in. This kind of hurt.

"Spencer!" I turned and saw Dallas waiting for me on the opposite side of where I was. I walked over and stood next to her.

"Finally. Where have you been?" I cleared my throat and tried to compose myself.

"Sorry. I was, uh, clearing my head." She eyed me suspiciously. Praying that she wouldn't question me, I squinted down the street and saw my dad driving up.

"You okay Spennie?" I nodded without looking at her. Even with sun glasses on, she could read me like a book. Luckily, my dad got there and it was finally time to go home.

"Hey baby girl." My dad smiled in my direction as I got into the front passenger seat. I attempted to smile back. He looked into the rear view mirror and greeted Dallas.

"Hi daddy." Such a daddy's girl. Then again, so was I.

"How was school girls?" He looked from me to the rear view mirror. I just shrugged while Dallas commented, "fine." Then she went on and on about how Jake and her were officially together. Blah, dumb relationships.

"Where are you at kiddo?" I turned my and gazed at my dad. Smiling, I told him I was here. Just a few thoughts on my mind.

"Well if you ever need to talk, I'm here." I softly smiled and nodded in appreciation.

When we arrived at the house I noticed a very familiar car parked next to Glen's, apparently new, Escalade. Even for me, that's a nice ride and if I knew how to whistle, I would.

"I wonder who's here." Dallas stated as she took place next to me. As soon as we entered the door, we could hear the witty banter between Glen and Cyndal. That was nothing new. It was always funny to watch. As soon as Dallas heard her voice, she looked at me like I had a huge lollipop that was just for her.

"Spencer! You didn't tell me Cyndal was back!" She practically ran off before I could get a word in. I made my way into the kitchen where everyone seemed to be. Everyone inluding Glen, Cyndal, Dallas, my dad and Martin. Ha haven't seen him in a while. I walked over to him and let him hug me.

"Hey Spencer. Good to see you." He smiled sweetly and I nodded in agreement.

"Spencer, I can't believe you didn't tell us your girlfriend was back." I rolled my eyes at Glen. Surely, he must be joking. Cyndal beamed at me and I snickered.

"Not my girlfriend." I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of green tea. It was my crack.

"Yeah...for now." Glen smirked at me and winked.

"Ha I doubt that'll happen Cyn. Spencer's in love with someone else." That came from Dallas, who had her arms wrapped around the brunette. Cyndal looked from her to me and tried to read me.

"I'm not in love with anyone." Nope. Love is for losers.

"Right. So if you're not in love with Ashley then..." Glen was quickly interrupted.

"Ashley? That little lost puppy girl from earlier?" I could see her start to connect the dots in her head.

"Now if she wasn't gay, then damn. I'd be all over that." Glen was such a tool sometimes.

"Better watch out Cyn. You just so happen to have some competition." Cyndal looked at Glen and gave him a harsh glare.

"Please. I always get what I want." Maybe back then, that would have been true. Now though, things were different.

"Anyways..." I began walking away with Cyndal in tow, until the door rang. I walked over to it and opened it.

"Spencer."

Just great. More Cyndal and Ashley time. Before I could say anything, Dallas came into view and brought Ashley in.

"I assume Cyndal and Ashley have already met." Both girls nodded and avoided the other's gaze.

"Well uhm, Ashley and I are going to head upstairs and work on something." I let them pass me and walk up the stairs. Cyndal was not one to keep quiet and when she made an indecent comment, it only proved it.

"She must be really desperate for friends in order to hang out with a child. No offense to Dallas. I bet it's unbearable for her." My mouth dropped slightly open. Cyndal has always been quite bitchy and it used to never bother me before. Now, however, when she was practically insulting Ashley, it bothered me more than I'd like to admit.

"Cyndal...what's your problem?"

"What do you care anyways Spencer? It's not like you care about anyone but yourself." I looked up at Ashley and could see the somewhat anger in her eyes. That time, what she said, really hurt. Sure it may be true, but still.

"As for you..." She stared down Cyndal and Cyndal stared back.

"Go fuck yourself." My mouth dropped completely open as she said it, as did Dallas' and Glen's and Martin's, who just happened to walk into the foyer at that time. Neither of us had ever heard Ashley cus and I must admit, it was rather hott. This whole angry side of Ashley was definitely a turn on. I spun around to look at the look on Cyndal and her facial expression was priceless. Dallas grabbed ahold of Ashley's arm and pulled her into the room, leaving the rest of us in the silent foyer.

"Well, Glen and I will be heading to Cody's. So if you need us, just give us a ring." Martin and Glen stepped out before anything else was said.

"So shall we head up to my room?" I didn't even wait for Cyndal to respond as I started walking up the stairs. She knew where my room was.

As I passed Dallas' room, I listened carefully to the laughter exchanged between my sister and the girl who...well who I think I really was falling for. Gosh, that's even scary to think. I carried on to my room and as soon as I entered my room I headed straight for my stereo. Plugging in my iPod, I clicked on "shuffle". Soon enough, B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams "Airplanes" began playing. It wasn't my usual type of music, but I couldn't help but love this song.

_"Can we pretend that airplanes_

_In the night sky_

_Are like shooting stars"_

"I can't believe you let her talk to me like that Spencer." I see Cyndal finally found her way.

_"I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)"_

"Get over it." I didn't even bother acknowledging her as I searched my drawers for a pack of sticks that contained chemicals.

_"Can we pretend that airplanes_

_In the night sky"_

"What are you looking for?" Yeah, she was over it.

_"Are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)"_

"My crack."

"Your tea is on your dresser, Spen." She said it like it was only obvious.

"My other crack." Finally finding the square object, I smiled proudly.

"Spencer you really should quit." And she should really stop acting like a bitch.

"And you really should stop acting like a cocky bitch. But I doubt that'll ever happen so...stop complaining." Yeah, I speak my mind.

"Geez what's up your ass today?"

"That's what happens when someone takes away my smokes." Placing my lighter into my ass pocket, I walked to over to the door and started walking out. Saying, I'd be back as I headed into the hallway. She would be fine without me.

I have a habit of looking down when I walk, something my family thought was always weird. Paula said it was because I had a low self-esteem, but please. Me, not confident? Yeah, like that's possible. Since I wasn't really paying attention to what was in my way, I was only bound to bump into someone. And if fate were on my side today, then Ashley wouldn't be the one I bumped into...again. Or maybe, fate was on my side, in a nonchalant sort of annoying way.

We just looked at each other awkwardly without a word. A few moments passed and I decided to break it.

"Sorry..." She nodded but still said nothing. After a few more seconds, she opened her mouth to talk, but I beat her to it.

"Will you take a walk with me?" By the look on her face, I assumed she wasn't expecting me to ask her to go anywhere with me. She looked inside Dallas' room and noticed that Dallas' was standing a few feet away from us.

"It's fine. You guys go. It'll give me time to call Jake." Blushing she headed to her bed.

Ashley remained silent but began walking down the stairs. So I did nothing but follow in her foot steps, literally. Ha.

Once we were outside, I pulled out a white stick and my lighter. I was about to light up when Ashley pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and broke the stick in half. Yeah, this new angry slash confident Ashley, was definitely a turn on. We began walking down to the drive way. We had a park just around the corner so I decided we could head there. There was a swing set, and when it came to that, I was a kid once again.

The walk to the park was rather silent. The only thing heard was the sound of our shoes as they hit the pavement. We reached the park two minutes later. Yes, I counted the seconds. It was better than trying to withstand the silence. I led us straight to the swing set. Which was empty and I was rather grateful for. Darn kids are a hassle to kick off a swing. Greedy little brats.

"Do you want to swing?"

"I uhm, I don't know how to without someone pushing me." Say whaaa?

"Seriously?" She nodded and I couldn't help but laugh. I'd never known someone our age to not know how to swing on their own. I made sure to learn at an early age so I wouldn't have to bug someone to push me. It was cute with her though.

"Sit, I'll push." She did as I said and I began pushing her gently. Despite that no one was talking, it was kind of nice. Just being here with her like this.

"You're pretty bi-polar." Can't say that's the first time I've heard that.

"One minute you say you don't care then the next you're defending me from crazy bitches. Well one crazy bitch at least." Make love not war. Ha, sorry, that just popped into my head.

"And I never suspected you to be the type to speak such foul language." She shrugged as I pushed her into the air.

"Yeah, well, there's a lot you don't know about me."

"Well, I want to get to know you." Gosh, I really was bi-polar.

"I don't get you Spencer. You say you want me then change your mind and say you don't." I do change my mind a lot, as you can tell.

"What do you want from me?" Good question.

"I...I..." She stepped down into the sand and stopped me from swinging her. She remained seated in the seat though.

"Well?" I shrugged unsure. I know what I want, I just don't know if what I want is good enough. Does that make any sense? Yeah, it didn't to me either.

"I like you..." She cut me off.

"You sure have a funny way of showing it." I'm pretty crappy aren't I?

"I know and I'm sorry. It's just things are complicated." I wasn't sure if those were the right words, but I didn't know any other way of explaining things.

"Well let me make things less complicated for you." Obviously, they weren't the right words. She got off the seat and started to walk away, but before she could get far enough I grabbed her elbow and pulled her into me. Without any hesitation I leaned in and kissed her.

It was pure bittersweet.

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**[[A/N: So anyone want to give feedbaqk? Again, I'm sorry. Since I suck in updating, I'm going to try to wrap this up soon. Maybe 2-5 more chapters, heck maybe even less. Not sure yet. Have no idea what's going to happen. I'm just going to write and see what happens. My updating will suck due to my cousin's from Texas still being here and I get no privacy 'cuz they're with me pretty much 24/7. I'm surprised I got away with this. They're always looking to see what I'm doing. But like I said I'll try. So, please forgive me?]]**

**Song Used:**

**"Airplanes" by: B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams [[only that was obvious because I did mention it.]]**


	27. Love Conquers Fear

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: So yeah, I haven't updated in about a month. I apologize for that. But I've been in Texas and just got back not too long ago. It's taken me a while to figure this all out and now I sort of have. It's short though, but I just needed to get something out there. So here it is. Sorry if it sucks and not edited properly. I did my best to get this update posted as soon as possible.**

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Have you ever been with someone and kissed them and knew that this would be all that you would ever really want? That just a tiny, yet simple kiss could make you melt. Not literally, of course, but in the sense that no matter how small or how fast they kissed you, it'd be more than amazing. That you could kiss this person for the rest of your life and would forever be happy? Well that's how it feels for me right now. Here in this moment, at the park. Next to the lonely swing, still slightly swinging. Here, lips entertwined with the most amazing girl to have ever walked the Earth.

Yes, I had kissed Ashley before, but it's taken me this long to finally realize that I don't want to kiss anyone else but her. Not Cyndal or Nikki or any other girl in the world. This kiss, somehow, helped me realize that, if I spent the rest of my life kissing her alone, I'd be happy. With the way she lightly smiles as I kiss her, but quickly removes it when she knows I can sense her smiling. The way she seems to melt as I hold her in my arms, keeping her from running away from me. The way she doesn't pull away when I try to deepen the kiss and she grants me permission. Every single thing about this girl, about Ashley, is all I could ever want.

However, all good things must come to an end. And they do, when she puts her hands on my shoulder and pushes me back a little. Breaking the kiss and breaking all that I have now grown to, well, love.

"Spencer, wait." She's taken a step back. Hands on her hip as she looks at the sand beneath us. Sand, such a weird thing. Never understood why they always put it in the little playgrounds. It only creates a mess and I hate when it gets into your shoes and sometimes even into your socks.

"Are you even listening to me?" Oops.

"Sorry. You were saying?" She huffs out in frustration and I feel bad for not have been paying attention. But when I see her chest heave up and down, I don't feel so bad anymore. In simpler words, hott!

"See, exactly. You don't even pay attention..." I like a frustrated Ashley. I make a mental note to leave her frustrated more often.

"Spencer!" I snap out of my Ashley induced daze and lock eyes with her. Smirking, when I know I've been caught staring.

"Sorry. Okay, I'm all ears. What?" She crosses her arms over her chest and I'm left sadden. What can I say? I'm a teenager.

"Why'd you kiss me?" I thought it was rather obvious. Why else would you kiss someone? Unless you kiss them, just to kiss them. Or to shut them up, which is rather affective. However, not the point in this case.

"Because, I wanted to." That's a great answer, right?

"Obviously." See, it is obvious.

"But why, is my question." Because kissing you, is the most amazing thing I have experienced. When I'm kissing you, it's like everything makes sense in the world. I wouldn't want to go another day without kissing you. It's all I want to do for the rest of my life. Kiss you and just be with you. No one else. You're...it for me.

Holy cow. Ashley's 'it' for me. Ha. She's everything for me. Holy moly, that's even scary to think. Yeah, no way I can tell her that. Or can I?

"Well, Spencer?" Her eyes look tired and sad. Like she's just about ready to give up.

"I...I..."

"What Spencer? You what?" I really don't know what to say. Well I do know, it's just that I don't know if I'm truly ready for this yet. To be with the one person who I forever want to be with at only age 17, going on 18. I'm too young to even know what love is. Or maybe it's just my insecurities taking over. I know what I want and who I want. I'm just...scared. Wow. Now don't I sound like a pansy? Ha.

"I'm so tired of these childish games, Spencer. You don't know what you want, even if you think you do. I think, you just think you want me because I'm here and I want you. Easy and simple. And maybe that's what you want, to rely on me to always be there so when all goes downhill, you can think back and say 'oh there's always Ashley. She's someone I can mess and fuck around with.'"

"You're wrong." Finally, I speak.

"I don't think I am. You say one thing, but act a completely different way. I truly do not understand you. I thought I did, but I'm starting to realize that I don't. And I don't think I ever will. So, if we are done here, I'm leaving." I was rather stunned at all that was said. So that's why I remained quiet as she began walking away, not even attempting to stop her this time.

However, as her footsteps began to slowly fade, realization was began to dawn on me. If she walked away now, then I may just lose her completely. Maybe not forever, but I'd lose her. And just the mere thought of losing her made my heart ache. I wasn't going to screw up again. Not this time.

When I looked up and saw that she was still in hearing distance, I spoke up. "I kissed you, because..." Her steps began to falter and she had stopped walking, but did not turn around. So I continued, "Because kissing you is the only thing that makes sense to me." Her head dropped and I figured, maybe those weren't the exact right words.

"All I want to do is kiss you and be with you. No one else." I started to walk forward, in the direction that she was standing.

"When our lips connect, it's like the sun connecting with the horizon as it's about to set. Amazing and beautiful. Minus the colors, of course. Although, that would be pretty awesome." I was now standing in front of her and could see the small smile on her face. I lifted her head up so that I could stare into those brown eyes that I have grown to love.

"When I'm with you Ashley, it's the only place I want to be. I don't want to kiss anyone else, but you. I only want to have you in my arms. And I only want it to be you, who I argue with over who gets to be on top or bottom. Which, by the way, I call top." By now she has a bright smile on her face, with slow tears falling from her gorgeous brown eyes. I lift my hand to cup her cheek. My thumb moving slowly across it and wiping away her tears.

"And you're the only person, I want to kiss for the rest of my life. You and only you." By then, she's smiling a completely amazing nose crinkling smile. Which, of course, I can't help but reciprocate.

My lips are on hers within seconds. But just as soon as the kiss starts, it ends. I'm left having to pull back as well, and sighing in frustration. Which only leads Ashley to laugh at the expression of frustration left on my face.

"There's just one thing." I nod and let her continue.

"What about Cyndal?" I think about it for a minute and shrug. What about her?

"Cyndal who?" I smile upon seeing hers and lean in once again. This time, it doesn't stop as soon as it starts and I am more than happy about that.

And if Dallas were here, I'm sure she'd be saying something cheesy along the lines of, _"__If we don't conquer the fears that imprison us, we will never possess the one thing we all long for... true love."_

Gosh, Dallas is so cheesy, even when she's not here. However, I am glad that I conquered the fear that "imprisoned" me. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here with the one I love.

...

Well, at least I think I conquered it.

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**A/N: So I don't know whether to end it now or wait another chapter or so. Thoughts? If yall have forgiven me, of course.**


	28. Teenage Dream

**[[A/N: So I'm not exactly sure on this, but I wanted to get something out. It's short but hey, at least it's something. Right? Also, my laptop sucks (and I need a new one) so I wasn't able to edit it properly. And I was too lazy to go all the way downstairs to the office to edit it. And due to the fact that my laptop is sucky, I would have updated sooner, but it wouldn't let me save the document. But I have out smarted it and found a way...which leads to where we are now. Here. So moving on...]]**

**Disclaimer: All Tom Lynch's.**

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_"Before you met me,_

_I was a wreck"_

Ever lay down on your bed listening to music and a certain song pops up that you can just relate to? Yeah, me either. Well, not until recently. I was back in my room listening to Katy Perry, while Cyndal was sitting at my desk checking her twatter account. Ha twatter. Much better name than twitter, if you ask me.

Ashley and I had gotten back a little ago. Sadly, kisses had to be put aside for now. She really did have to help Dallas with some project. Dumb Dallas...she just had to ruin it.

Cyndal had my itunes open and "Teenage Dream" just happened to pop up. I didn't even know I had it on my itunes. Huh. Go figure.

_"But things were kinda heavy,_

_You brought me to life"_

Oh Katy Perry, how I understand you. Ha. Oh gosh, I feel like such a loser. Sadly though, I really can relate to this song. In a pop music-y type way, if that makes sense. Before Ashley, I guess you could say I was a wreck. I was "dating" girls left and right and hurting whoever. Not caring one bit about anything or anyone. It did all change though, when I met Ashley. She was someone, who I knew I wanted deep down, but didn't want to hurt. I needed to fix myself before going after her. I'm not even sure if I've fully fixed myself yet, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Just as long as at the end of the day, it's Ashley laying next to me.

_"Now every February,_

_You'll be my valentine, valentine"_

Or if it's Ashley I get to spend the Hershey and Hallmark created "holiday" with.

I looked over at Cyndal and smiled. She was my first love and first best friend, and I was always going to love her. But when it comes down to her or Ashley, there's no competition. My sister's dorky best friend would win, without a doubt. And surprisingly, I was more than happy about that. Cue geeky smile. Oh my God, I'm starting to sound like a love struck kid. I'm starting to sound like...Dallas. First with the quotes and now with the whole love thing. Oh lordy!

"Spencer!" Thankfully Cyndal stopped me from ranting on like a loser.

"Hm?" She spun around in the chair and faced me.

"So where did you disappear to earlier?" My mind wondered off to just a few hours ago and I couldn't help but smile like the geeky loser I've seem to become in just a short time. Flashbacks of Ashley and I sharing amazing simple kisses appeared in my head. Gosh, she was a great kisser. I could die kissing her.

_"Let's go all the way tonight"_

"Spencer!" Cyndal now stood in front of me. When did this bitch walk over here?

"Sorry. What?" She shook her head left and right. Indicating to just forget it.

"Look, there's something I wanted to tell you." Hm...this is going to be interesting. The first time she told me those exact words was when she announced that she wanted to be more than just my friend. The second time was when she acclaimed that she was in love with me. And the third time she said it was when she told me she was moving. I'm definitely eager to know what the fourth time will indicate.

"Go on." She sat down next to me, hands clasped together in her lap.

"There was a reason why I came over tonight." I figured as much.

"Just say it Cyn." She avoided my gaze and twirled her thumbs together. A nervous habit I have come to know. She did it every time she announced something rather important.

Her head lifted up and her eyes met mine. I knew that look. It was the look that meant she was sincere and really serious. Just then, she started to lean in closer to me. I don't know why, but my heart started pounding. Beating faster by the second. She always made me feel a certain way like no other. It was a feeling that only she could give me. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad feeling.

_"No regrets, just love"_

"I'm still in love with you..." And when I heard those words spoken, I knew something was off. She wasn't Ashley. And I knew that it wasn't a bad feeling, it was just a feeling that I didn't want her to make me feel. An unwelcome feeling gestured from her. I wanted it to be Ashley who made me feel those things and to say those things to me. Not Cyndal.

And just as her lips were about to come into contact with mine, I stopped her. She leaned back confused and somewhat hurt.

"I'm sorry, I can't." For once, I truly was sorry. She was my best friend and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Why not?" Just as I was about to reply, my door opened. And in walked the most gorgeous girl to have ever walked into my life.

_"My heart stops,_

_When you look at me"_

Ever see on t.v. how the prettiest girl on a show, or movie, enters a scene, glowing (from the sun in the background) with her hair blowing in the air and it's all happening in slow motion? Yeah well, that's what is happening to me right now. And my heart did stop when Ashley looked at me. Smiling her gorgeous, astonishing nose crinckling smile at me. And with just that one smile, I completely forgot all about Cyndal as I got off the bed and walked those short steps to Ashley. Not wasting a single moment, I cupped her face and kissed her. A kiss, she more than gladly returned. I could tell she was hesitant at first though, but seeing as how I wasn't going to pull away for the life of me, she smiled into the kiss and placed her hands on my hips.

A few moments after and hearing someone clear their throat, Ashley pulled back and left me wanting more. Ugh. I'm kicking someone's ass tonight.

"She's why?" Hm...I completely forgot Cyndal was even here. I turn around and smile.

"Yeah, she is." I felt Ashley clasp her hand in mine and squeeze it.

"Are you serious? You're going to give up everything we had, everything we've been through, just to be with some random girl?" Yeah, Cyndal was mad. But just a tiny bit, ha. I felt Ashley drop my hand and take a step back. When I glanced back at her, her arms were wrapped around herself and she was looking at the ground. The sight made my heart ache.

So, I took a few steps forward and stood in front of Cyndal. I grabbed hold of both her hands and held them in mine.

"Cyndal." She looked into my eyes and old comforting feelings returned. She was the first girl to ever capture my heart, but not the only one to obtain it.

"I love you..." My heart ached for a girl I loved.

"But as a friend. And Ashley's not just some girl. She's more than that. She's _the_ girl for me." And before I could stop my rant, I whisper, "I'm...I'm in love with her." As soon as the words left my mouth and before I could really comprehend what I had just admitted, I hear a loud gasp behind me.

"Well about effing time Spencer!" I turn and see Dallas with a big kool-aid smile standing next to a shocked looking Ashley. My stomach does flips and jumps when Ashley's eyes lock on mine. Silence invades the room and I can feel all eyes on me.

_"Just one touch,_

_Now baby I believe,_

_This is real"_

I guess I didn't say it as quietly as I had thought.

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**[[A/N: So I need your help, I have NO idea how to end this. I need ideas! Suggestions anyone?]]**

**Song Used:**

**"Teenage Dream" by: Katy Perry**


	29. Just the Way You Are

**[[A/N: So sorry it took me longer than usual to post. This was a hard one, even if it doesn't seem like it. Lol. See, this is my first and most likely last attempt at doing the POV from Ashley. Only reason, most people wanted to see something from her mind and well it's pretty much the same as Spencer's. Kinda, maybe. Idk. I don't really know how to do a POV from Ashley, so if it sucks (which it probably does) I'm sry. I really did try. =/ Well anyways...I'll stop wasting yallz time. Ha.]]**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, at all, ever. **

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**Ashley's POV**

_"Oh her eyes, her eyes_

_Make the stars look like they're not shining."_

I look into gorgeous blue eyes and am left utterly speechless. Did she just say what I think she did? By the way Dallas is nudging me in the side, seems like she really did. Spencer Carlin...loves me?

I see Cyndal look over at me from behind Spencer. The look on her face is one of, I'm not sure exactly, but basically, it looks like she wants to kill me. I'm not scared though, I could take her.

_"Her lips, her lips_

_Falls perfectly without her trying"_

My eyes lock back onto Spencer's and I'm still finding it hard to form any words. What do I say? 'Uh, I love you too?' I'm not given much time, because as I'm about to mumble some words, Cyndal takes a step away from Spencer, which leads to a step closer to me. Now, I don't know anything about Cyndal but from what I've seen, she's rather bitchy and I wouldn't be surprised if she was aggresive. So when Dallas takes hold of my wrist, I stiffen but make no movement.

Spencer seemed to snap out of the shocked trance she was in and grabbed Cyndal before she could get any further.

"Cyn. Don't." Cyndal yanked her arm away, but still kept her eyes on me. Okay, so she was kind of scary.

"Cyndal. I love you like a sister, but I think you should go." Dallas speaks up with her hand never leaving my wrist. Cyndal doesn't look back at Spencer nor acknowledges that she even heard Dallas, she just continues staring at me. Okay, what the heck? Finally, Cyndal gives me a look of utter disgust, harsh by the way, and walks out. Bumping into me on purpose as she leaves the room.

The tension in the air was thick. So thick it was hard to breathe. Feeling Dallas let go of my wrist, I glance at her as she shuffles her weight from foot to foot.

"Okay, so I'm just going to go to my room and leave yall alone." Not even a second later, she's out of the room and a few seconds later a door could be heard shutting closed.

I don't know whether to say anything or to just continue to stand here awkwardly by the door. Spencer decides to finally move and heads into her closet. A moment later, she returns in a pair of boxers and tank top. Not even gazing my way, she walks over to her desk and clicks on the already opened itunes. Hearing the music play louder, I can hear Bruno Mar's song play clearly now.

_"She's so beautiful and I tell her every day"_

I stare at Spencer as she stretches ever so elegantly. Even in the simplest things, she's absolutely beautiful.

_"I know, I know_

_When I compliment her she won't believe me_

_And it's so, it's so_

_Sad to think that she don't see what I see"_

She turns to me then, her eyes never leaving mine, she walks towards me. Short steps later, she's a breath away. So close in fact, that I can feel her breath on my lips. "You're so beautiful." She says, making me blush. From out of the corner of my eye, I can see her arm lift up, but not to place anywhere on me. I hear the door shut with a soft click following, assuming it's the sound of the door lock. Then, does her hands touch me and are placed on my sides.

_"But every time she asks me do I look okay I say_

_When I see your face_

_There's not a thing that I would change_

_Cause your'e amazing_

_Just the way you are"_

She doesn't take a step away, or even seems to falter. She just stays in place and has yet to speak a word.

_"Her lips, her lips_

_I could kiss them all day if she'd let me"_

She leans into me then and kisses. Lips soft and amazing, I could kiss her all day if she'd let me. Pulling away, but still close enough to kiss, I feel her mumble soft words onto my lips. However, I'm too memorized by just how amazing she is that I don't understand what she spoke. I gently peck her on the lips and pull back far enough to not be distracted.

Leaning my forehead against hers, I ask, "Huh?" She giggles cutely and pulls away, connecting blue with brown, she smiles.

_"Her laugh, her laugh_

_She hates but I think it's so sexy"_

"I said...stay with me tonight." She looks hesitant, almost scared of my answer. It may not have been the first time she asked me, but this time, it's completely different. This time, there's deeper feelings involved.

"Won't you get into trouble?" We both know she will, but I still await her answer.

"It doesn't matter. I just want to be with you tonight." My heart literally melts at the words. Who would have knew that Spencer Carlin had a soft side. Although, as much as I would like to stay, I don't want her to get into trouble again and me not be able to see her for a while. It was hard before, so it sure will be harder now. I don't think I could go an hour without feeling her lips on mine, imagine a week or two.

"How about you stay with me tonight?" She ponders the suggestion, then finally nods.

"I can work with sleeping at your place, I guess." She says the last two words as if she has no other choice. We both share a laugh at her exaggeration as I lightly hit her on the arm.

The mood changes swiftly and seriousness appears on her face.

_"She's so beautiful and I tell her every day"_

"About what I said earlier..." Not even letting her finish, I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her closer into me. I kiss her with as much passion as I can convey. Hopefully showing her that I, too, feel the same way. We untangle our lips and give ourselves a little breathing room, but still close enough to be wrapped in one anothers arms.

Just then a soft knock is heard behind me. Spencer rolls her eyes, but has yet to remove her hands from my sides to attepmt to open the door. Which, of course, leads to the person who's wanting entrance to bang on the door.

"Spencer! Open the door! I want to know if what Dallas said is true!" I slightly laugh at the funny outburst from Glen.

"I know you're in there! I can see your guy's feet under the door!" Okay, that definitely made us pull apart. Love Glen, but he has his weird moments sometimes.

Spencer goes to open the door as I move aside. The sight we see makes me burst into laughter. There is Glen on his hands and knees with his head to the floor. His left eye is shut while his right eye is more than wide open. Just behind him is Dallas, who's looking at anywhere but at us, whistling. Weirdly enough, with a glass cup behind her back. The whole scene before me just makes me laugh. I love this family.

"If I were you guys, I'd start running right about now." Before I could even finish my sentence, both Dallas and Glen head straight down the long corridor and down the stairs. Spencer chasing them only to the staircase then turning back.

_"Oh you know,you know, you know I'd never ask you to change_

_If perfect is what you're searching for_

_Then just stay the same"_

"So yeah, shall we go to your place now?" I nod while walking over to her. This time she wraps her arms around me and kisses me. Moments pass as we never once seperate.

_"So don't even bother asking if you look okay_

_You know i'll say_

_When I see your face_

_There's not a thing that I would change_

_Cause your'e amazing_

_Just the way you are"_

"See Glen! I told you!" That sure makes us seperate. We turn to look at the doorway to see a heavy breathing Dallas and Glen.

"Aw man Spencer! Now I owe Dallas fifty bucks!" The proud smug look on Dallas' face and the sad looking face on Glen's is more than priceless. I laugh at all the Carlin kids and can't help but love them. I grab Spencer's attention and give her a small kiss.

"You get what you need, while I have a talk with Dallas and Glen." I let go of Spencer and begin my walk over to the other siblings. I place one arm over Dallas' shoulder and the other over Glen's as we head out into the hallway.

"Where's Spencer going? Oh my Carlisle..." He's seen too much 'Twilight'. "Are you guys going to fu...ow! Dallas, what the hell?" Yeah Glen and his big mouth. Thank God for Dallas putting a stop before he could finish. They'd have a field day with the sudden blush rising to my cheeks.

"Hm...Dallas, I bet you one-hundred bucks that Spencer and Ashley fu..." I'm not even going to let him finish.

"What is up with you two and bets?" They look at one another and both shrug.

"We get bored." Rolling my eyes, something I seem to have picked up from Spencer, I make my way to the loft downstairs. The oldest and youngest Carlin following behind.

As I head down the stairs I hear a soft whisper from Dallas.

"Make that two-hundred and you got yourself a deal." I shake my head and softly laugh.

Yeah, I definitely love these Carlins. Especially the one upstairs who is getting ready to stay with me tonight.

_"And when you smile_

_The whole world stops and stares for a while _

_Cause girl your'e amazing_

_Just the way you are"_

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_**[[A/N: So...yah, Ashley's not as much different from Spencer. Maybe one or two things different, I'm not sure. I tried, sorry. Major fail. =[ But yah...if there were any mistakes, I apologize. I was in a hurry to post this. A friend's coming over and he's a pain in the ass. Ha...But uhm...I'm really trying to end the story next chapter. Key word: trying. If I don't it's because I have no clue how to end it. I need help! Anyone have suggestions? Please? Let me know. Again, I'm realllyyy sorry if this last post sucked. =/**

**Song Used:**

**"Just the Way You Are" by: Bruno Mars [[favorite song at the moment. Lol.]]**


	30. A Year Without Rain

**[[A/N: So here it is. The beginning of the end. I apologize for taking forever on this, but it took absolutely forever to write. And then finally when I was starting to get really into this, it freaking deleted and I couldn't get it back! I was so mad. I had to basically rewrite it. Ugh. So if this isn't what yall expected then I apologize. I really did try, because this is the longest chapter ever. I didn't even know I could write this much. Ha. I ended up rereading this and editing it about 3 times and ended up either changing or adding things to it. Finally though, I got really tired and stopped. So if its not edited well, my deepest apologies, but my eyes got tired.**

**But...I'd like to thank EVERY single reviewer of this story. I personally don't like to single out anyone because I appreciate every single one of you and I don't want anyone to feel left out. However, I want to thank _WillowOn3_ for helping me out and giving me an idea of how I was going to end this. Soooo _WillowOn3, _thanx a lot! Lol.**

**Also a reviewer had mentioned to write smut, but it's not really my thing. If I even tried, I'd fail miserably! I have like no experience in that and I'd be completely lost. But thank you so very much for the suggestion.**

**Ha I'm actually kinda sad to be ending this, but I shall suck it up and post.**

**So without further ado the final chapter of "The Girl Next Door."]]**

**Disclaimer: Shall never be owned by me.**

_**

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Some short time later...**_

We sat on top of a blanket with her wrapped snuggly in my arms. We watched on as Glen, Martin and Cody were positioned across one side of the net while Dallas, Jake and Issac, Jake and Cody's older brother who was here for the week visiting from New York, were on the opposite side. They were all engaged in a heated game of volleyball. Glen and Cody being the sore losers were trying their best not to lose, while Martin didn't care, he was begged to play. Their plan to win wasn't working out so well because Dallas' team was winning by two. Unbeknown to us though, Issac had been playing volleyball ever since he moved to New York. Watching the three boys lose was great, this would definitely be something we would never let Glen live down.

The scene before me made me smile. I was with people who I cared for. Especially the one not even a breath away. It surprised me just how much I came to love her, to fall so deep in love with her. She was more than someone I could ever deserve. How I got so lucky is truly beyond me. All I know is that I'm so glad to have realized just how much I felt for her before it was too late. I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself if I had let her go. To let her slip through my grip without even trying to hold on. Thankfully though, all was forgiven and I got the girl I loved more than anything. Ha. That still scares me to think it, but knowing that it's her I feel so deeply about, makes it all worth it. Like Dallas always tells me, 'love conquers fear', and I'm so glad it did in my case.

"What are you thinking?" She snuggled closer to me, even though we couldn't possibly get any closer. Her back was to my front and my arms were placed over her shoulders. Her hands were intertwined with mine and they couldn't fit more perfectly.

"Truthfully?" She moved her head to the side and looked up at me. Nodding, she smiled sweetly.

"Truthfully." I smile down at her, then gazed back out onto the scene of all the teenagers enjoying themselves.

"I was thinking about how I could be tanning right now, but can't because someone won't let me go." I couldn't help but laugh a little just as she gently nudged me in the ribs.

"Hey, ow. That hurt." She turned back around and watched the volleyball game as well.

"That's what you get. But if you really want to tan, I can always move." She began to get out of my arms, until I stopped her.

"No. It's fine. I can do without a tan. I guess." I don't have to look at her to know that she's rolling her eyes. She blames me for her picking up on that habit.

"Yeah yeah. You know you just don't want me to let go." And she's right. I never want her to. I've gone too long without her, I don't want to lose her now.

"Never." Moving my arms to her sides, I lean down and gently kiss her shoulder. A gesture we both know she enjoys and finds sweet.

"I love you Spencer." I smile at the words, God knows I could never tire of hearing those three amazing words.

"Thank you." She moves her head to the side giggling, allowing me better access to rest my head.

"I love you too Ashley." She removes my arms from her sides and turns around to face me. Staring deep into her eyes, I see nothing but love and contentment. Which, I am sure my eyes are mirroring as well. I reach up to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. Tucking it behind her ear she smiles widely at me, that smile that I love so much and can't help but swoon over.

I move my hand to the back of her neck and pull her into me closer. Just as our lips are about to connect and I'm about to feel heaven, a bunch of sand washes over us. Ashley moves away from me and turns in the opposite direction. I look around the sand and notice the volleyball laying just beside us. Looking up I see all the boys including Dallas laughing their asses off. I'm about ready to kick someone's ass when Jake makes his way over to us.

"I'm so sorry Spencer. It was all Glen's idea." I gather myself and stand up, looking over Jake's short shoulder I peer at Glen. Just as he see's me, he stops laughing and freezes.

"Spence, just let it go. It was kind of funny." I look down at Ashley who's still seated on top of the blanket.

"No. Are you kidding me? He ruined the perfect moment. I'm going to kick his ass." Yeah, I'm just a tad bit angry.

"Spencer, it's fine." I'm not listening anymore, because I'm already half way towards the blonde bimbo that claims to be my brother.

By the time I reach Glen he's waving his hands all around and begging me not to hit him. You would think he wouldn't be scared considering he's older, but while I took five years of boxing he was busy playing guitar hero in our living room.

"Spencer. Don't do anything you'll regret. I'll tell dad!" He began walking back slowly while I kept walking forward.

"Plus, it was Dallas who 'accidently' hit the ball towards you guys." I stopped in place and turned around to look at Dallas. She mimicked Glen's previous movements. But before I made any advances towards Dallas, I continued my way towards Glen. Little did he know, a few more steps back and he would trip over a bucket and land in some poor child's sand castle. And before I knew it, he did just as I predicted.

He scrambled to get up but failed. I could hear the laughter from the rest of the group behind me. A cute little boy, about the age of three, walked over to where we were and stood in shock.

"You ruined my sand castle mister!" The little boy looked like he was about to cry. Instead though, he walked over to the cause of Glen's fall and picked up the bucket. Walking back over to Glen, he raised the bucket and hit Glen in the head.

"That's what you get!" By the time he reacheed his family, which I am assuming is his family, I am hurled over laughing so hard. The look on Glen's face is more than priceless. Now he, looks like he's about to cry. Glen gets up in a hurry and practically jogs back to the group rubbing his head. I'm sorry, but he definitely deserved that.

Ashley's hitting the ball back and forth with Issac when I reach the spot we were all stationed at. I decided not to bug them as I headed over to sit next to Cody and Martin. Greeting me warmly, Martin scoots over so I can sit in between the two boys.

"You're lady has a fine body Spencer." I whip my head so fast that my neck ends up cracking. Cody doesn't even notice the death glare I'm giving him until Martin clears his throat.

"Not that I was checking her out or anything." I end up hitting him in the arm.

"Ow! I was just complimenting her. If anything you should be thanking me. I'm giving you major kudos." I roll my eyes and turn to look back at the two who are now laughing.

"So how are you two Spencer?" I chance a glance at Martin and appreciate his kind smile.

"We're good." I return his smile shyly.

"So are you guys official yet?" My smile drops then.

"Uh..." Thankful for the distraction, Dallas plops down in front of us while Jake sits beside his brother.

"Yeah Spennie. When are you finally going to pop the question?" I scoff at her question.

"You make it seem like I'm going to ask her to marry her." Dallas shares a look with the guys surrounding us.

"No, you make it seem like you're going to ask her to marry you. Why else would you take so long to ask her a simple question?" It wasn't that simple. This was _Ashley_ we were talking about.

"Well you might as well ask her to marry you though. You both are so caught up in each other, you guys don't even realize what's going on in the world." So?

"What's your point?" Dallas laughs but doesn't answer my question, that is until Glen walks back over to us.

"Her point is that you might as well ask her to marry you because you two are going to end up getting married anyways. You're always together and things will most likely stay like that." My stomach swarms with those annoying butterflies that I love to hate. I can only hope that we can be together for a long time.

"You guys are all on crack." Of course, I'd never actually admit that to them.

"But seriously, when are you going to ask her? It's been like a month already Spencer." I don't know why I haven't asked her yet. I guess I've just never found the perfect moment.

The sun was starting to slowly go down and the weather was starting to get rather cold. We made no intentions to leave or move though as we all sat in a circle and continued watching Issac and Ashley.

"You know, if it weren't for the fact that Ashley was all yay gay for Spencer, I would think her and Issac were flirting." This coming out from the horses mouth, also known as Glen. I take a closer look and start to notice the subtle looks Issac is making towards Ashley. As he's giving her back the ball, his hand lingers just a little too long on hers and I'm just about ready to break his hands. Ugh this whole jealousy thing will be the death of me. I only ever get this way with Ashley.

"Chill Spennie. It's just Issac." Dallas' attempt to comfort me only fails.

"Yeah, plus I'm sure he knows Ashley's yours anyways. I'm sure Cody told him." Jake says as we all look to Cody who seems to be lost.

"Oh yeah, don't worry. I told him that Ashley wasn't into hardness." He winks at me which only makes me want to hurl. Gross.

"When did you tell him this?" Martin speaks up.

"Oh before he told me he was going to ask out Ashley." My mouth goes dry then.

"Are you sure he understood you?" He shrugged while playing with the sand.

"I don't know. Probably not." I smacked him in the head as I got up and made my way over to them.

I reached Ashley just as she was about to serve the ball over the net. Taking the ball out of her hands, I threw it on the floor and placed my hands on her hips. Not even giving her a chance to say anything, I leaned in and captured her lips in between mine. Finally, I was in heaven. Her arms wrapped themselves around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist. Pulling her closer, I didn't want to ever let go. I felt her smile into the kiss, which only made me sigh in happiness. I kissed her with all the love and passion I could muster.

Pulling back, she smiled and took a deep breath. "Wow. What was that for?" I smiled and shrugged.

"I just missed you." Her smile grew wider and I leaned in to kiss her again. However, this one didn't last as long as the previous one. PDA was never my thing, and Ashley knew it, but right now I didn't care. I just wanted to kiss her. She still pulled back though.

"Come on Spence. Let's meet up with the rest of the group before things get too heavy and I end up taking you right here, right now." My eyes widened in utter shock. Never had Ashley been so blunt about something like that. Usually, it's always me.

"Close your mouth Spencer. I'm not as innocent as I look." She walked ahead of me laughing. Oh how right she was. We hadn't slept with each other yet, but the things she did when things got heavy, DAMN. She was definitely far from innocent.

I caught up to her and grabbed her hand, causing her to smile at the gesture.

"Hey guys, so we were thinking about just staying here and having a bonfire. Is that okay with both of you?" Martin asked us as we all began heading to the two different vehicles we brought.

I looked at Ashley, who looked at me. "It's up to you." I shrugged while walking to the back of my BMW to open the trunk. "Your choice love." She blushed at the nickname but nodded.

"Hey Martin!" He peeked his head out from the back of Cody's Range Rover.

"We're in." He nodded and smiled.

"Sweet. We're just going to head over to the store to pick up some things. Do you guys want anything?"

"Green tea!" I really didn't even need to say anything because everyone knew to always bring me green tea, but I just had to make sure.

"Got it. What about you Ashley?"

"I'm fine, thank you." He nodded and got into the back seat. Cody in the driver's seat with Issac in the front passenger and Glen in the back with Martin. The boys pulled out leaving Dallas and Jake with us. Great, now we're on baby sitter duty.

"So...Jake and I are going to go find a bonfire pit. We'll meet you guys back on the beach."

"Not until you put on regular clothes. It's getting cold." Gosh I sounded like Paula. Ew.

"Yes mother." I gave Dallas a death glare and she apologized. She so new better than to compare me to the dragon lady. She grabbed the extra clothes that she had brought and began putting them on. I grabbed extra clothes as well and handed a pair of skinny jeans over to Ashley. We all changed right there in the parking lot. We placed the extra clothing items over our bikinis, so it wasn't like we were giving anyone a free show.

"Hey babe? Do you want a shirt or just the hoodie?" Ashley smiled at the nickname while Dallas smirked at me. 'Babe' was a word I was trying to get used to saying. It always felt weird calling someone that, but with Ashley, it felt just right.

"Shirt and hoodie please." I walked over to her and handed her the clothing items. When she didn't take the clothes, I questioned her. Not getting an answer but a gesture instead. She raised her arms above her head and waited expectantly for me to put on the clothes. I laughed at the childish act but did as I was told. Yeah, Ashley had me whipped. I heard Dallas make a sound of a whip cracking behind me. Ashley busted out laughing along with the two younger teens. I just rolled my eyes and tried not to kill the young one. Dad would kill me if I killed her.

Once all of her clothes were in place I began to finish dressing myself. Not before getting a more than welcomed kiss from Ashley though.

"Thank you." She smiled widely and began pulling out beach chairs from the trunk of the car. Jake made his way over to help her while Dallas stood in place.

"You better ask her Spennie." I didn't even bother acknowledging the twerp.

"I'm just saying."

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Whatever Snooki." Yeah...don't ask. Glen and Dallas have this fascination with Jersey Shore. Why? Hell if I know. That show makes me feel like I get stupider by the second. Stupider, I don't even know if that's a word. See! Oh gosh! I really am getting dumber!

"Spence?" Snapping out of my horrible thoughts, I peer at the gorgeous girl before me.

"Everything okay?" The sincerity in her voice made my heart grow more with love.

"Yepp." She smiled and I nodded. Taking hold of my hand with her free hand, we headed to where Dallas and Jake now were. Dallas was placing the chairs all around the bonfire pit while Jake tried to start the fire. The sun was just now setting and the mixture of colors in the sky left me in awe. That was until I turned to look at the girl standing to the right of me. Now that was a sight to see. The way the sun illuminated her gorgeous face left me more than speechless.

I grabbed her hand and brought her closer to me. "Ashley?" She brought her eyes to meet mine. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you all day." My heart started pounding. This was the perfect moment.

"You okay Spence?" Her eyes looked at me as if worried.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I was just wondering...if you would..."

"Spencer? Oh my God is that you?" Screw my life. Why must we always get interrupted? When I came face to face with the voice, I was left rather hesistant. Standing before me was none other than Sadie. Ha how funny. The ex, with the current, well future current, hopefully.

"Sadie. Uh, hi. Long time no see." Ashley's grip on my hand tightened. I take it she remembers Sadie too.

Sadie's smile widened at the knowledge of my remembrance of her. "Way too long. I've missed you." Awkward!

"You know, I never stopped thinking about you. I should have never ended it with you. Gosh I was so stupid. And..." Cue Ashley's throat clearing. Sadie glanced over me and barely now notices Ashley.

"Oh. Ashley. Hi." Ha the bitterness in her voice is not noticeable one bit. Sarcasm, ol' buddy, ol' pal! She gazed down at our intertwined hands then looks back up at me.

"Well it was only a matter of time. When you get tired of her, which you will, you know where to find me Spencer." She ends up heading down the beach the same way she had come from. Well that wasn't awkward. Nope, not at all. Ha. I look at over Dallas and Jake to see Dallas nodding her head from side to side. Uh...okay?

"Well I'm going to go help Dallas and Jake." Ashley doesn't even bother waiting for a response as she heads a little more down the beach to where the younger teens are.

Okay. I have no idea what that was about. I'm about to follow her when Martin pops out from nowhere and stands beside me. "Hey Spencer, do you mind putting down these sodas while I go help the rest of the guys?" I grab the sodas from him and walk over to the bonfire. Jake had the fire all set up just in time. The sun was set and the moon shone brightly above us.

Ashley was standing to the side glazing into the fire. The soft look on her face looked like one of sadness.

"What ever you did, fix it." I didn't even need to turn to know that it was Dallas standing next to me.

"I don't know what I did." I honestly had no clue.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out Spennie." She walked away after that. And truthfully, I have NO idea what she's even talking about. By now, all the guys were down here and were all gathered around the fire. Packs of marshmellows, Hershey bars and graham crackers were lied on top of one of the chairs. Bags of chips were placed beside on the ground along with the sodas and other snacks.

Issac walked over to me and handed me a bottle of green tea. The way to a girl's heart, well at least mine.

"Thank you." He smiled a wide grin and nodded.

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"About what exactly?" If he kissed Ashley behind my back, I was going to castrate him.

"For the whole Ashley thing. I didn't know you guys were an item." He was safe, for now.

"Or whatever it is you two are." Great, another lecture.

"No, I'm not going to lecture you. But just so you know, Ashley's an amazing girl." Like I didn't know that already. "And if you don't ask her to be yours soon, then someone else will. And even if she doesn't say yes to them, she can only wait so long." It takes me a while to take it all in, but he's right. And if I don't act soon enough, then maybe I might just lose her. I really need to grow a pair...not literally though. That's disgusting.

"Thanks Issac. You really are smart." He laughs and takes a step aside.

"Go get her Spencer." Placing my green tea on the sand, I smile and walk over to the gorgeous girl that I've fallen for so much.

I come up behind her silently. Wrapping my arms around her waist and leaning my head on her shoulder, I kiss her neck softly causing her to jump slightly.

"You scared me." I smile into her neck.

"It's only me." Her posture stays stiff and I wonder what's wrong. She usually relaxes into my embrace, but this time she doesn't seem to feel comfortable.

"Are you okay Ash?" She nods, but I'm not convinced. I untangle my arms from around her and just stand beside her.

"Hey Ashley, do you want a smore?" Cody asks from across the fire.

"Yeah." She doesn't look at me as she walks over to Cody who's handing her the needed ingredients. I'm left alone in the same spot, wondering what I did to make her angry at me. What sucks is that now, I may not even be able to ask her to be mine. Not when she's mad at me at least. What ever it is, I need to talk to her. We have to talk this out, I can't just let it be. Surprisingly enough, I'm not the one walking away for once.

"Ash, can I talk to you?" I interfere in the conversation being held by my siblings and Ashley. I look over at Glen and Dallas and hope that they get the hint to leave.

"We'll just go over here then. Come on Glen." I'm glad when Dallas catches on.

"But why? I want to know what happens." Dumb Glen.

"Just come on. You can go hook up your iPod to the iPod deck." She dragged him over to the rest of the group.

"Can I play Selena Gomez?" He asked a little more than excited and hopeful. He was definitely the weirdest one of all.

I grabbed Ashley's hand and pulled her along with me until we sat on some rocks by the shore. We were close enough to still see the group but far enough that they couldn't hear.

"Are you okay Ashley?" She looked out into the ocean.

"I'm fine." That was convincing.

"Please don't lie." She shook her head. Ugh why was it so hard for her to open up? Geez, now I know how it must have felt for her when she would try to get me to open up.

"I don't know what I did, but what ever I did, I'm sorry." She still avoided my gaze. This was definitely frustrating.

"You didn't do anything." Okay...

"So then what's wrong?" I grabbed her hands and brought them up to my lips, kissing them.

"It's nothing. I'm just, I don't know, acting dumb." That's when you know something is wrong.

"You're not. I just want to know what's wrong so I can fix it. Please just be honest." I begged hopefully. I didn't want her to be bothered with anything.

She sighed rather sadly, but spoke. "It's just, I don't know. What if what Sadie said comes true? What if you do get tired of me?" I didn't mean to laugh, but it slipped. Which only caused her to pull her hands away from me.

"Is that what's bothering you?" She said nothing, just wrapped her arms around herself. I climbed onto the rock she was on, trying to get closer.

I untangled her arms from around herself and clasped her hands in mine.

"Ashley, I love you. What Sadie said, was true. But that was before you. Before I ever really knew what it was like to be with you, to kiss you, to have you in my arms. I admit, when I was with Sadie, I would get tired and bored of people. I always had to have someone new because I'd get bored. But that was before I got to know what it was like to really be with you. Now that I have you, I never want to let you go. I love you, with all that is me. Sadie is stupid and she was just trying to get to you. Ashley, before I met you, I never knew what it was like to look at somebody and smile for no reason. Now I can't help but smile, all the time." She smiled at that last sentence.

"When I first saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I first met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I first kissed you I was afraid to love you. But now that I love you I am afraid to lose you." I read that online once. I thought it was stupid and lame, but now it makes sense.

"You won't lose me Spence. I like you too much." I laughed out loud and kissed her softly.

"I do want to apologize though. About my behavior before everything. As Dallas once told me, 'Sometimes we put up walls not to block people out, but instead to see who cares enough to break them down', and well, you're the only one who stuck around long enough to break them down. When you started to, it scared the shit out of me and I pushed you away. I didn't want to open up myself to you. I may not admit this to anyone but when Cyndal broke up with me before she left, she broke my heart. It was the worst feeling, ever. And after that, I promised myself to never open up to anyone else again. I didn't want to have to go through that all over again. But when I met you, I knew I was screwed. The first time I saw you, I knew that you would always be more than just some girl to me and it freaked me out. I barely knew you, yet I already knew deep down I just had to have you. I was just too scared to do anything about it."

She grabbed hold of my face and leaned her forehead against mine. "It's okay to be scared Spencer. I was beyond scared when I first realized I was in love with you. But despite it all, I forgive you. Because all that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I'm here with you now. And not only do I love you, you love me too." Gosh this girl was amazing and perfect and I'm just so incredibly lucky to have her. Well, almost have her.

"Ashley, there's something I want to ask you. I have been trying to all day, but we kept on getting interrupted and..."

"Hey, you love birds! Come on, we're all gathering around to tell scary stories!" Issac yelled from just a few feet away.

"Can this wait Spence?" I sighed, but nodded. I guess.

"Sure." She smiled brightly at me and grabbed my hand and led me back to the bonfire.

We were less than a foot away from the group and definitely in hearing distance, but right now I didn't care. I stopped walking, causing Ashley to stop as well. She looked at me confused. I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Actually, it can't wait." All eyes were on me now and yeah, I was nervous.

"Okay. What's up?" Music played in the background and listening carefully, I could make out the soft voice of Selena Gomez.

_"The stars are burning _

_I hear your voice in my mind ( it's in my mind ) _

_Can't you hear me calling _

_My heart is yearning _

_Like the ocean that's running dry _

_Catch me I'm falling"_

The sooner I began to try to form words, the more my mouth dried. I need water. Lots and lots. I don't even know why I was so nervous.

"Just ask her already!" We both looked at the group, who all screamed at the same time, interestingly enough. When Ashley turned back around, she looked at me expectantly.

"Ashley, will you please, be my girlfriend? Officially, that is." As soon as the sentences left my mouth, it was as if a hundred pounds were lifted from my shoulders.

However, when moments passed and she had yet to answer me, I grew anxious and even more nervous. The thought of being rejected never crossed my mind until now.

"I don't know Spence. I'm going to have to think about it." I felt like I was going to cry, in a wimpy sort of way.

"Spencer, I'm only kidding. I'd be more than happy to be your girlfriend. Officially, that is." She giggled and I stood still. A sick joke indeed.

"That was so not funny." She wrapped her arms around me, placing her head between my neck and smiled.

"It was kind of funny." She pulled back and brought her lips to mine. Okay, all was forgiven.

Mumbling into my lips, she said, "I love you." I could only kiss her back.

"Well it's about damn time!"

_"I'm missing you so much _

_Can't help it, I'm in love (love) _

_A day without you is like a year without rain _

_I need you by my side (side) _

_Don't know how I'll survive _

_A day without you is like a year without rain _

_Ohhohoh, Woooaaahh woaahh"_

Laughing at the lame remarks from Dallas, Glen and Cody we pulled apart and finally joined them.

"So Glen, I'll definintely be taking part of that bet you and Dallas have going." Cody speaks up.

"What bet?" I question as Ashley shakes her head but still laughs.

"Oh, uh nothing." Glen walks over to Cody and smacks him in the shoulder. Yeah, I'm sure there's no bet. Rich kids and their boredom. You would think they'd spend their money more wisely. Then again, it was Glen and Cody and surprisingly enough, Dallas. Hm...actually that wasn't so surprising. Dallas got bored a lot too.

We all stood around the bonfire just enjoying each other's company. Dallas was wrapped in Jake's arms, rather cutely. I'm glad they worked out together. Dallas was finally happy and now I could tease her just the way she teases me. Ha pay back! Glen was stood between his 'boys' along with Issac, who I realized would definitely end up being a great friend if he ever decided to come back to California. As for me, I was here in the arms of the one I loved. The amazing girl who was willing enough to wait and to break down the walls built around my heart. The gorgeous girl who I want to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. The girl who had my heart.

_'Thinking back, I would have never guessed that I'd be right here in the arms of Ashley Davies.'_

Ashley had her arms wrapped around my waist and was leaning into my back. "I love you Spencer," she whipered into my ear.

Turning around in her arms, I placed my arms around her shoulders and kissed her. "And I love you." I leaned back into kiss her, but of course we were interrupted, as always, before things could get good.

"Get a room you two! We don't want to see our smores sprayed out all across the sand." Ew!

"You guys are just jealous because you guys can't kiss Spencer." We all laughed, but they knew it was true. I turned back around and smiled contently at my _girlfriend_. Looking around at all the ones I cared for, I knew life could never be more perfect.

"Ew, I'm not jealous at all. There's no way I'd ever want to kiss Spencer!" Stupid Glen, way to ruin the moment. Laughing we all rolled our eyes at his dumb remark. Yes, life was definitely great.

"Glen, you're a loser! But I'm on the same page as him. Sorry Spennie, but yeah, I don't do the whole incest thing either." Dallas is starting to hang out with Glen too much. Such losers, they're lucky they're family. I have to love them. Martin, Cody, Jake and Issac all laughed along with Glen. Uh...am I the only one who doesn't find that funny? Noticing Ashley giggle slightly, I guess I was.

Whispering into my ear, I hear Ashley say, "It's okay Spence. You're definitely my type." I smile at the comment and lean back into Ashley. Yeah, I definitely loved her_._

_'But I'm so glad that I finally fell for the girl next door.'_

_

* * *

_**[[A/N: So once again, thank you to everyone. I really appreciate all of my reviewers and if it weren't for any of you, I would not have even considered continuing this. So again, thank you so very much. And yes, I just had to end it with Selena Gomez. Ha. It was either her or The Boxer Rebellion. But yall should definitely give them a listen. Amazing band! **

**Song Used:**

**"A Year Without Rain" by: Selena Gomez**

**Until my next story, which I highly doubt will be any time soon, I thank you all once again.**

**-Sam 3**


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